AIBU to pull DD out of nursery until she's older

[chocolatebuttonlover]

DD currently attends nursery one full day a week, she's 18 months nearly.

I was really happy with the quality of care she was getting when she was in the baby room (as she started at 12 months) but since she moved up to the older room, I feel that care has diminished.

I posted the other day that she'd sat in another child's explosive nappy that had got on the floors, which bothered me (not only because it's grim) but also because that meant that a key worker (or two?) weren't watching either my child or the child with the exploded nappy that was wandering around getting it on the surfaces?!

The room always feels chaotic when I arrive and over the last few weeks DD has been in the corner, not being watched or played with - when I arrive to get her.

The girls there are lovely but the turnover is insanely high, they're under massive strain and I feel like I don't trust them with my baby anymore!

My parents have now offered to do that extra day of childcare in replacement of the day of nursery - but wondering how long we should do this before I need to think about sending her back again to a childcare setting.

I have real concerns about her not getting social interaction so always take her to soft play/ groups / friends etc on my day off with her, and DM has promised she'll do the same, but at what age do I need to think again?

I'll be on Mat leave from June so was thinking that I could start DD up again at nursery when she's nearly 3, and also put the new baby in too - and find a new nursery or childminder that I'm happy with.

Would love to hear some experiences of people who've done similar or any advice if that age is too late for her to settle?

Take her out 100% . She can still get plenty of social interaction with a decent parent and toddler group and your mum. Fair better quality too than being ignored by disinterested 18 year olds ( before I get flamed-I know not all nursery staff are like that !)

She doesn't need to be at nursery. Unless your parents are ignoring her when she's there and keeping her locked up in the house, she'll be getting plenty of social interaction. Small children do not need to be locked up in a room full of other babies for hours each day to get their necessary 'social interaction', unfortunately it's seem a common misconception that they do need this! They don't. Nothing wrong with nursery if you need it if course. It exists to allow parents to go to work, it's not for the benefit of the children. Keep her home if that works for you.

What Sandra says !

It's a myth that children need nursery to be socialised. I can understand concerns around the children impacted by Covid but she will absolutely thrive with your parents. If anything you're lucky to have that option- Good luck ! x

Thank you everyone - this has been so reassuring for me! I have handed in our four week notice this morning!!!

I was a Nursery Nurse and feel that level of care is not acceptable at all.I would take her out for a while .If GM can take her for a day or two that would be fine .There is a lot of confusion about Nursery Settings for under threes .Some thrive and enjoy the interaction.Some are not so outgoing ,I would re introduce her at a later date .There will be no harm to her at all

The girls there are lovely but the turnover is insanely high, they're under massive strain and I feel like I don't trust them with my baby anymore!

I think this answers your question.

I have real concerns about her not getting social interaction so always take her to soft play/ groups / friends etc on my day off with her, and DM has promised she'll do the same, but at what age do I need to think again?
This is absolutely fine, she is mixing and playing at a soft play or group which is perfect.

I'll be on Mat leave from June so was thinking that I could start DD up again at nursery when she's nearly 3, and also put the new baby in too - and find a new nursery or childminder that I'm happy with

Our DS started nursery at 3 as he was starting school at just 4, has he been statrting school later I would have sent him later. But I think if you are thinking 3 that's absolutely fine.
At home you will be teaching him sitting nicely, taking turns, manners, kindness to others, holding a pen, craft, numbers, letters all those things are the basics mixed in with a bit of independence, toilet trained, zipping coats up, putting shoes on and holding cutlery and
He will be fine going in at 3.

Would love to hear some experiences of people who've done similar or any advice if that age is too late for her to settle
You can't get too late to settle, some children have been in nursery and still struggle to settle, others haven't done a day and are running in raring to go. Each child is individual.
You do what's right for you, if you don't want and need to send them don't. It won't do them any harm.

I’ve got to agree OP. I don’t think it would do any harm to take her out of nursery.

That sounds like a terrible nursery. I would definitely take her out, and then start looking for somewhere better when you want to. Grandparent care is lovely, especially for very little ones as they really don't need socialising, just consistent care.

I'm very pro-nursery, my son's been there since he was 1 (bar lockdowns) and he's always absolutely loved it. But he goes to a very good nursery with low staff turnover and very strict on ratios, cleanliness etc. In fact I've chosen to keep him there rather than send him to the cheaper pre-school nearer home since he was 3 because the nursery has such a high standard of care. You need to trust the people caring for your child.

I certainly would remove dd from this nursery. Its great if your parents can help with childcare and spend time with dd.

However assuming its not a financial issue I wouldn't necessarily wait until baby is here to find a new nursery. It would be great to have dd happy and settled in a new setting before the changes of new baby arriving. I'm sure the break one day a week would be beneficial for you in the later stages of pregnancy and a little 1 on 1 time with baby in the early weeks. You may even find some nurseries that are more in demand have a waiting list. Maybe just take the option of looking at the local offering at your own pace.

Lcb123 · 20/01/2023 12:40
I’d be looking for another, better nursery instead. So important for kids to have that interaction“

It’s not necessary until around 3.