Was I the other woman

[Keeleyjane]

My partner and I have been together for 5 years. There is an age gap between us and we weren't very public about us, out of fear of judgement. We had a distance relationship and lived nearly 4 hours apart. Because of work we hardly got to see each other. But in 2021 I left home and came to move with him.

When we first started "talking" he would never call me when he was at home, facetime and his messages would be hours apart. I did question him on this and he just said he had bad signal at home. But last year I found out that he was still living with his now ex when we were dating. I confronted him and he got so mad about it. He said they were separated but just living together untill he found his own place. I understood this but still only calling when he was out of the house just don't sit right.

His son hates me and ex has said some harsh things to my partner about me. Somthing doesn't seem right to me still why would they be so upset at me and him if they was already separated.
Am I just being paranoid? I want to ask him about it all as its eating away at me. But don't want a massive row.
Any advice would mean a lot x

I think you're right. He was still living with her, he's now admitted to that, I expect there was a lot more going on but he's trying to minimise what was happening.

I had to live with ex husband after we had agreed our marriage was over. I would have avoided having conversations in his presence.

You may not have been the other woman. You don't need to have been for his ex and their kids not to like you.

I think you likely were but it isn’t your ‘fault’ if that makes sense. You were less the OW and more being lied to. He presented himself as a single man so you weren’t knowingly the other woman.

Beware the man who gets angry when you ask a legitimate question.

Trust your gut instinct x

This

every.single.time

Been in a similar situation, it didn't end well. As it turns out they weren't a couple, were living together for convenience, it was over for years,his adult kids said the same but she still had feelings for him, it caused problems etc .

Putting everything else aside you should be able to talk to your partner. Multiple red flags here.

There are red flags over all this.

You want to ask him a question but are scared he’ll get angry? You can’t plan a future with a man like that.