Cleaner ghosting me - can't get my keys back!

[AllTrussdUp]

My cleaner has not been since Christmas. The problem is that she has stopped responding to texts, emails, calls, WhatsApp etc. OK - I gather she's 'fired me', that's fine - but I can't get my keys back from her! I've tried finding out if something has happened to her - but no luck. What else can I try?

AIBU to start putting messages on local FB groups asking? I know this could have an impact on her business, but I'm facing the need to change my locks if I can't get the keys back and I can barely afford it!

Have you tried sending a very brief message that doesn’t require a written or phone response from her?
e.g. ‘Hi x, please pop key back through letterbox by x date as I need it.’

how well did/do you know her and trust her
if you have any slight doubt then consider changing the locks.

I personally wouldn’t put messages on Facebook
if she’s been injured or dead or whatever then you’re no further forward

More likely she’s just p’ing around so you don’t want any drama.

Do you have any mutual acquaintances you could ask?

At this point I'd probably just change the locks. But this is appalling behaviour. Even if she doesn't want to clean for you anymore, which is fine, the keys to your home are not her property.

I've tried that - 'just pop the keys in please' and asked someone who knows her (waiting to hear). Its just so maddening! She had worked here for a year but I can't say I knew her very well. I'd worry that she'd do this to other people too.

I'm guessing you don't have a home address? What happens when you call her mobile. I'm sure you've tried from someone else's phone so she doesn't recognise the number. Has she answered?

If you know any other local clients I would definitely be contacting them. Without being alarmist id be worried about security and my home insurance if you've no idea where the keys are. Deffo change the alarm code and think about the lock.

Check her name / business name on companies house website if she’s a registered business will give business address you could pop round? Or see if landline number

You’ll probably have to cut your losses and get locks changed.
i never give keys to cleaners now after bad experiences- I wfh so im here’s when she comes. difficult if you work f/t in an office but that’s the risk you take.

If you don’t have any joy getting a response, change the lock and move on.

Oh my cleaner ghosted me in October too! I didn’t realise this was a thing, thankfully she didn’t have a key but after a year of coming weekly and seemingly having a good relationship I’m baffled as to what has gone on.

I would put a message on asking if anyone knows her, say you're worried about her welfare.

I reckon she's lost your keys!

Do you really think shes gonna come and burgle you just because she has a key?

Just so maddening! I don't have her address (lesson learned for next time) and have disabled her alarm fob, but last night was home alone (with DD4) and even with the door locked I didn't feel secure! Tempted to put a 'does anyone know if she's OK' message on FB.....

@Branleuse - no I don't think she's going to burgle me... but the fact that I do not know where the keys are is a security risk. We live rurally and crime has been rising in isolated properties. I doubt my home insurance would be valid if I didn't know where all my keys were....

She or someone she knows most certainly could if they know when OPs house is usually empty.

Is she definitely ignoring you? Is she seen online in WhatsApp etc and just not responding to you, or could something have happened to her?

If my cleaner fired me I'd still expect my key posted back. If was a quitting cleaner I'd either leave the keys on my last visit or put them through the letterbox. It's not an unreasonable request and lock changing can be very expensive depending on the sort of locks you have.

Exactly @TellMeWhere

I can see she's received and read my Messenger messages, but not responded...

I would change the locks in any event. You have no idea if she has made a copy even if you get the key back. I always change the lock if third parties (cleaners, workmen doing longer projects etc) have taken keys away and they no longer work for me.

@AllTrussdUp check your house insurance as you may be covered for lost keys.

I would be changing the locks anyway. How well do you know your cleaner? If you haven't employed her long you probably know very little about her. A good professional cleaner has a reputation to keep up and wouldn't dream of treating you like this
Of course, sadly, she could have met with some accident but you don't know that either.
Unlikely I know, but what if she does return your keys but gets a set copied for herself first. Probably she won't ...but you can't be sure 🤔 I would find the money if possible and change the locks. 💐

I'm sorry but you need to be more direct and more forceful. 'just pop the keys back please' is unlikely to provoke the same sense of urgency in her as 'i can't afford to get all the locks changed, if you don't return my keys I will have to bill you for new locks'

It’s cheaper and easier than you might think to change locks - you can just buy the lock mechanism bit (called the barrel) which usually comes with three keys from under £10. There’s usually a couple of screws on the face of the lock (the narrow bit of the door) and you slide the old bit out and the new bit in. They look like this and toolstation/screw fix do a good range.

It can be often cheaper to replace the barrel than getting a couple of new keys cut.

I would send her a firm message saying you need your keys back, and if she doesn't respond then you'll be reporting it to the police. Which you should do anyway.

I wouldn’t trust just getting keys back, she may have gotten another set cut. You are going to have to get locks changed, doesn’t have to be a locksmith, a handy person should be able to change the locks for you.

An alternative might be just to add inside bolt/bolt and chain to exit doors. I know that’s no good for when you are out, but it sounds as if you just need the added security to relax when you are at home.

I live rurally and know how odd noises can make you feel. As you said, it’s not that you are expecting your cleaner to burgle you, but that not knowing where the keys are just makes you feel uneasy.

I had a similar issue. I sent messages which were ignored. I then got a "yes I'll drop the key off" which never happened. I sent more messages which were ignored.

Eventually (6 weeks later) I had a message to say she'd had a family bereavement and would return the keys after Christmas (she stopped cleaning for me at the end of September - no notice, just stopped turning up).

Obviously she hasn't bothered.

We got the locks changed in the end, as OP said we were concerned about insurance and wanted peace of mind. Reluctant to give another cleaner the key now!

OP - bite the bullet & change the locks. You clearly can't trust her & you need peace of mind.

Even if she returns the keys you're going to have to change the locks anyway as you have no way of knowing if she has copied them (or left them lying around and someonelse has), so you may as well do it now.