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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mums birthday meal

37 replies

Ladybug85789 · 19/01/2023 09:25

Me and my three sisters arranged a birthday meal for our dear mum. One of the sisters has 6 children ranging from the age of 12-19 years old. The restaurant was chosen by sister with the 6 children. Me and my other sister also have children however they are young and didn’t attend the meal. Sister with the 6 children and her husband ordered huge amounts of food and drink. When it came to splitting the bill the sister with the 6 children pays for the bill and then sends invoices to me and my other sister requesting for it to be a 3 way split between me, my sister and the her. The bill was £720 as they had chose quite a expensive restaurant. We are all working class families none of us have so much money. I told her I wouldn’t be paying a 3 way split that i will be paying for 1/3 of mums bill so that would be us 3 sisters paying for mums and then my 1 share of the bill. She was furious saying it’s mums birthday so we should pay. I said I am paying for my share and mums birthday share and that my other sister will also be paying the same as me as it isn’t our problem to be paying for her husband or children. They also took the leftover food with them which was a lot of food as they had ordered a vast amount. My partner has recently been made redundant from his job therefore my finances aren’t so stable at the minute and be family knows. Am I wrong to find this sister selfish.

OP posts:
Ladybug85789 · 19/01/2023 09:26

mums birthday meal

OP posts:
SunshineLollipopsRainbow · 19/01/2023 09:28

Absolutely not, your sister and her husband are cheeky fuckers.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 19/01/2023 09:29

Fuck that. She's taking the absolute piss!

IhearyouClemFandango · 19/01/2023 09:31

Nope, hold your ground.

Workinghardeveryday · 19/01/2023 09:32

What a cf!!! Obviously they ordered all that food because they thought you and your other sister were paying most of it.

cheeky bitch!!!

takealettermsjones · 19/01/2023 09:32

You are completely right and it's really nice to see a post where the OP has already said no to the CF! Stand your ground!

MarmaladeCrumpets · 19/01/2023 09:33

She's a CF

fairgame84 · 19/01/2023 09:35

So there was 11 people altogether, 8 of them were your sister and her family?

She's a piss taker. Stand your ground.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/01/2023 09:57

If it was one extra child i would say a 3 way split-but 6??? hell no cf!!!
you are right OP shes trying it

EL8888 · 19/01/2023 10:06

She’s a cheeky fucker. Why should you subsidise her and her family. Plus she picked the restaurant (l thought the persons having the birthday did that). Its all about her isn’t it!

Rockingcloggs · 19/01/2023 10:14

Copy & paste the following.

GET TO FUCK.

EyesOnThePies · 19/01/2023 10:21

So you and your other sister are standing firm together?

Of course big-family sister should pay their fair share.

Wiglio · 19/01/2023 10:29

Agree with the poster up thread who said it’s good to read about someone standing up for themselves
the offers by you and your other sister are fair, to pay for yourselves and 1/3 each for your mother’s meal

EyesOnThePies · 19/01/2023 10:30

She is seeing it as the overall costs of having a celebration for your Mum. And had you all had a buffet at home, sharing the cooking and shopping, it could have worked like that.

But not reasonable to share restaurant orders like that.

But… it would be sad for your beloved Mum’s birthday to be the cause of an ongoing bitter fall out. So rather than telling her to F off, etc, I would say “thanks for organising such a lovely night. This is an unfortunate understanding and maybe we should have discussed costs in advance because we (other sister and you) would not have agreed to have chipped in for meals for a total of 11 people in a restaurant of that cost because we quite simply cannot afford it! Obviously happy to pay our share of Mum’s meal, but the fact is your family were 8 people and we two sisters were one each! Anyway it was lovely to see you all, love xx”

JauntyJinty · 19/01/2023 10:32

Well done OP you handled it perfectly

So many people fold and just pay up in these situations out of politness - it's what Cheeky Fuckers like your sister rely on!

pudcat · 19/01/2023 10:52

The most you should be paying is £66 for yourself and and another £22 for your Mum, but I bet the food they ordered came to more Than £66 each and yours less. So I would either work out the cost of yours plus a third of your mother's or offer £80. You can probably find the menu on line.

Glorianna · 19/01/2023 10:59

You did well, OP! So glad other sis is on board too.

Stay firm x

ohdearydearieme · 19/01/2023 11:11

Stand your ground! This is a whole new level of CFery!

Jimblob · 21/01/2023 07:58

Why should she pay for her sisters family and football team amount of kids. If she can’t pay for her own kids she should have learnt to keep her legs shut. What a selfish, narcissistic pos. Stick to your guns and tell her to do one.

1FootInTheRave · 21/01/2023 08:16

She is a cheeky scruffy twat.

Badgirlriri · 21/01/2023 08:30

1FootInTheRave · 21/01/2023 08:16

She is a cheeky scruffy twat.

How do you know she is scruffy?

SerenaTee · 21/01/2023 08:32

Do you mean you and your 2 sisters as you start your post saying you have 3 sisters? Anyway, well done on not being taken advantage of, most people are too embarrassed to speak up in this situation and sounds like your sister with the 6 kids was banking on this!

TokyoSushi · 21/01/2023 08:36

Absolutely no way, stand firm!

Poppyblush · 21/01/2023 09:05

Cf!!!

aSofaNearYou · 21/01/2023 09:12

Your sister is taking the piss massively. Your suggestion is perfect.