to think you don't tell your ex you love them?

[pancakesmancake]

My boyfriend shares a child with his ex, they argued a lot. He has always said she wanted more commitment but he knew she wasnt the one for him. Anyway we have been together 8 months, i havent met hsi child yet which is fine. Recently I have just felt uncomfortable with their relationship, he has said he classes her as family and its important for them to get along as friends. I think this is healthy, but it seems they have not yet worked all their boundaries out. I saw a conversation where she says " oh x I do love you, to what he replied love you too. To be this is crossing the line massively, he says they are family there will always be love there?! Wtf I dont have kids but I imagine most people dont feel this way?

Is the implication of comments like this that future partners should be alright with it, though? Because acting like this can naturally create a block for further relationships thriving.

@MarmaladeCrumpets do you worry about another adult partner of theirs being around your child(ren)?

The thing is you didn't add something in your post that shows that you will attempt to screw with the head of any partner of yours or his.

You posted about this recently OP, did you not take any of the advice on board then?

Sounds like trouble ahead. Their boundaries and yours aren't compatible. I wouldn't let this relationship get any more serious if I was you.

"he admitted he still felt jealousy in regards to her moving on..."

He's already explicitly told you he's not over her.

I tell my ex that I love him. He's the father of my children and one of my best friends. Just because you're not in a romantic relationship with someone doesn't mean you don't care about them.

I have no interest in getting back together with him. I helped him with his OLD profile this morning. My BF has no problem with how ex and I get along.

Examine why it bothers you. If you're secure in your relationship and trust him, then this wouldn't be an issue.

Examine why it bothers you. If you're secure in your relationship and trust him, then this wouldn't be an issue.

People that have this kind of dynamic themselves often say this - but it isn't necessarily true and there is a touch of gaslighting about it.

For many, this degree of involvement with an ex would be a dealbreaker regardless of whether you felt secure in your relationship and trusted them not to cheat, because it would feel like a mark of disrespect. For many, you couldn't behave this way without making your partner feel insecure, so whether they trust you the rest of the time is moot. It's disingenuous to say this wouldn't bother anyone if they felt secure, because it's simply not true. It might not bother some people, but it would others.

So he has conversations with his 'ex' where they declare their love for each other, and has told you he would be jealous if he 'ex' met someone else?

I don't think there's much of a future in your relationship, I'm afraid. He sounds like someone who very much wants to have his cake and eat it. He clearly has feelings for his ex, and would ideally like to be with her, but at the same time he doesn't want the responsibility of a committed and monogamous relationship with her... or with you.

The other possibility is that they haven't, in fact, actually split up and are still together as a couple but just aren't living together. If she got pregnant very early in their relationship and he moved in early on and they argued a lot, maybe he suggested he should move out 'to give each other some space' without actually splitting up.

Except he's told her he's jealous of the ex moving on. That's nothing like your situation.

It's going to end in tears

Depends on the individuals involved though really.

I think it depends entirely on the context of their relationship and tone/context of the messages.

My parents have been divorced for 20 years, but still love each other, and often say so.