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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wrongly delivered mail

24 replies

Chubbymoo · 17/01/2023 18:55

So a letter gets delivered to the wrong house as the address is written incorrectly.
The home owner, Mary, puts a message on the local community Facebook page to find out if anyone knows where it should have actually gone. Someone replies, Jane, “yes that’s me”correct address is identified, just down the road.

Whose responsibility now is it to get that letter where it should be? Should Mary deliver it or should Jane go & pick it up??

OP posts:
LIZS · 17/01/2023 18:57

Jane to collect unless there are issues which make that problematic.

Flapjackquack · 17/01/2023 18:57

Mary’s done more than enough, I would have just returned to sender.

Minimochi · 17/01/2023 18:57

Depends...does Mary have time? I usually just drop stuff round when I get to it...If Jane has time, she could just pop over.
This isn't really an issue...

dementedpixie · 17/01/2023 18:58

If I was feeling nice I'd stick it through the correct door next time I was out. If I was the recipient I'd have said I'd come and collect it

ClubhouseGift · 17/01/2023 18:58

Jane needs to go get it.

I would have chucked it in the bin.

PollyAmour · 17/01/2023 19:01

Why does it matter? Assuming the wrongly delivered mail is within walking distance, I'd drop it off.

Brainfogmcfogface · 17/01/2023 19:02

Janes letter, Janes responsibility

NotTooOldPaul · 17/01/2023 19:02

I had that. A letter adressed to a name of someone I did not know but at my address. I asked on Facebook and eventually found the correct address. I popped it through the letter box.

malmi · 17/01/2023 19:03

The person who wrote the address incorrectly should pay for a courier to collect it from the wrong address and take it to the right one

FatOaf · 17/01/2023 19:04

Unless "just down the road" means something very different to you from what it means to me, I don't see why it really matters who goes where to ensure it reaches its intended recipient.

dementedpixie · 17/01/2023 19:05

Can you not just say something like 'I'm in now if you want to come and collect it'

dementedpixie · 17/01/2023 19:06

malmi · 17/01/2023 19:03

The person who wrote the address incorrectly should pay for a courier to collect it from the wrong address and take it to the right one

This suggestion is just ridiculous

WeepingSomnambulist · 17/01/2023 19:09

If Mary, I would just go and stick it through the right letterbox because no one needs to sort out what time they're both free for Mary to be at home and Jane to come round and pick it up. If I'm Jane and Mary really refused to drop it round then I would go and collect it when it was convenient for her.

But I'm sure this is now some big drama and both people are being stubborn and stupid.

Loics · 17/01/2023 19:12

Either or... Unless one has mobility issues or would need to deliver/collect it with multiple young children in tow or similar, surely they'd just sort it out between them and see what works best? I'd prefer someone to collect if it was on a day off and we weren't going anywhere so I didn't have to get toddlers ready and take them with me, otherwise I'd just post it through their letterbox after the nursery run or similar.

Vallmo47 · 17/01/2023 19:14

I read something similar on fb lately… so a business kindly notified people a parcel had accidentally been delivered to them and it belonged at X. Mrs X then commented saying that’s mine, when are you dropping it round? The business owner was like “I work here full time, this is where I’m at if you can collect it”. The business was then SLATED by many. Absolutely shocking!!….
Lesson I learned: If I ever do anything nice like this, I will say “PM me to arrange collection”.

crosspusscrossstitcher · 17/01/2023 19:19

We get this.

For some reason, even though every house has their number displayed some including our road name the Post person cannot read the number.🤦‍♀️

As we're in a small cul-de-sac, we all re-deliver to the correctly numbered address.

In this case, I'd say Mary has done enough by finding Jane and Jane should go to collect her mail.

Original poster
Chubbymoo · 17/01/2023 19:20

dementedpixie · 17/01/2023 19:05

Can you not just say something like 'I'm in now if you want to come and collect it'

This is exactly what I should have done.

I have no problem whatsoever dropping it round, it was just the attitude of Jane that made me wonder if I was being unreasonable thinking that maybe she should have offered or arranged to come & collect & if that was the norm.
Had she offered I probably would have said ,”no, don’t worry, I’ll pop it over when I’m passing”. But all I got was, “that’s for me, number 95”.

I did drop it round a few days later & didn’t even get a thank you, wondered if I was expecting too much, or if this is a bit rude, hence the post. I know it’s a non issue really & I should have just said, “come & pick it up from…”

OP posts:
malmi · 17/01/2023 19:21

dementedpixie · 17/01/2023 19:06

This suggestion is just ridiculous

Show quote history

Dementedpixie volunteers to pay for the courier

BamBamBilla · 17/01/2023 19:22

They both have a responsibility to continue the conversation and discuss how to get it to the right place.

JudgeRudy · 17/01/2023 19:23

Guessing you're Mary. Jane should pick it up....then let RM know if its more than a one off or inconvenienced her greatly.
It's OK for Jayne to ask you to deliver it. It's not OK for her to off if you say no. Its daft for Mary to deliver it then moan later.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 17/01/2023 19:25

malmi · 17/01/2023 19:03

The person who wrote the address incorrectly should pay for a courier to collect it from the wrong address and take it to the right one

They should also send a cream cake as way of apology,

Oh, and perhaps if bottle of Prosecco.

And a spa voucher.

Original poster
Chubbymoo · 17/01/2023 19:30

JudgeRudy · 17/01/2023 19:23

Guessing you're Mary. Jane should pick it up....then let RM know if its more than a one off or inconvenienced her greatly.
It's OK for Jayne to ask you to deliver it. It's not OK for her to off if you say no. Its daft for Mary to deliver it then moan later.

Not moaning, wasn’t any trouble dropping it round, just wondering if anyone else would find this rude or if I’m overthinking it

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 17/01/2023 19:36

Jane was rude for not offering to collect and not thanking you. On the other hand it wouldn't really occur to me not to drop it round if I were Mary.

JudgeRudy · 17/01/2023 23:51

Apologies. I don't think it's rude for her to give you her address. Assuming it's close by I'd think it was a lot easier for you to take it to hers (at your convenience of course) however if it couldn't be popped through the letter box or was halfway round the block, I'd think that was presumptious.

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