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Original poster

Can anyone tell me if this is safe?

70 replies

sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 16:36

Posted a lot about this lately, apologies! Short story is dd (10 months) is struggling to adjust to her cot having previously been in the next to me. As a middle ground I've bought her a travel cot as it's a bit more similar to the next to me than a wooden cot with bars.

As she'll be using it as a main bed for a while I also got a separate mattress. It was from Amazon and paired alongside the travel cot I bought as being suitable/compatible with the model. I noticed that while it does fit and the dimensions seem right, she is able to create a small gap between the mattress and the bottom of the cot if she pushes her head against it. Not big enough to get trapped down or anything but enough so her head is at a slight angle. Because she has always slept with her head butted against the top of the next to me I suspect she's doing the same in the travel cot.

Is this ok? I've spent loads of time looking into whether travel cots are suitable as permanent beds and got all the recommended stuff (separate mattress etc) but I'm still worrying.

OP posts:
Original poster
sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 19:37

The mattress is 6cm thick (yes I did go back to Amazon and check the dimensions). So not really thick. The mattress that came with it doesn't even seem like a mattress, it's just a board on the bottom and doesn't even go the full way across. Baby is sleeping well on this one but I am down a rabbit hole of rebreathing and suffocation. There really is a hell of a lot of conflicting information regarding this out there.

OP posts:
Laiste · 17/01/2023 20:22

Can you get a stretchy jersey mattress cover for the mattress, which zips closed, which you could put a bit of extra something in? Around the sides. To reduce the gap?

Laiste · 17/01/2023 20:23

Can you really not fit the proper cot in your room? Even if you dismantled it and rebuilt it in there?

Laiste · 17/01/2023 20:25

Can you fit a single bed (or inflatable single mattress) in her room instead? And sleep in there for a while.

You could move on to leaving during the night eventually so that she wakes alone and gets used to being in her own room alone ?

WoMandalorian · 17/01/2023 20:28

Could you not take one side off the wooden cot and push it up against your bed? Maybe she would settle better in the new cot next to you like in the next to me crib?

sunshinesobeautiful · 17/01/2023 20:29

You're not meant to add another mattress to a travel cot- the firm thin one IS the mattress.

I think the thing that makes it dangerous is that you might look at the gap and say 'No way could she get wedged in this' but babies and even toddlers do get trapped in very small gaps and suffocate.

Could you set up a temporary bed for yourself in her room maybe?

Laiste · 17/01/2023 20:33

I know what you mean about younger ones being a different breed.

I've got 4, and no.4 is now 7 yo.

I still remember the phase we went through at about 8 months - the nights DH or i would have to actually belly crawl out of her room once she was asleep, because if we walked she would for some reason be aware of it and pop up and yell and cry. And the whole bed time routine would have to start again.

Seems like madness looking back - we're both sane resourceful people - and yet this is how we got by 🙄It wasn't for long, but jesus ...

The things we do for a bit of kip 😂

The older 3 were never so tricky!

Original poster
sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 20:35

There isn't really any gap to speak of at the moment. We have wedged an aerated blanket at the foot of the travel cot and that is making it much harder for her to create a gap even if she pushes her head hard against the end of the travel cot. I'm not worried about her pulling it out as she sleeps with an aerated blanket anyway.

I do feel really cautious about the flexible mesh though. I can totally see how a gap could open on the sides if she pushed too hard. I think I will have to rethink the arrangement because I won't sleep properly with worry otherwise. It's a shame as she seems comfy and is sleeping well in it but I can't take risks. I guess we will either try and squeeze the cot in somehow or move into her room.

OP posts:
Original poster
sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 20:37

I do find it really odd that the rock hard board is a mattress though. I know babies can sleep on harder surfaces but that seems ridiculous to me. I thought a separate mattress would be perfect but hadn't envisaged how it would work with the flexible sides. I guess you don't really picture it until you see it.

OP posts:
Laiste · 17/01/2023 20:37

Well, all i can say is good luck, and, remember, in a year this will all be a hazy memory 😀

Laiste · 17/01/2023 20:38

I know what you mean. It's more like a board than a mattress. The one it comes with.

AbreathofFrenchair · 17/01/2023 20:40

sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 17:13

What came with the cot wasn't a mattress at all. Just a hard bottom to it, she'd be fine sitting and playing on it but far too hard to sleep on for any length of time I would have thought.

I have been so wary about this but I thought given that the mattress was marketed as a bundle with the travel cot, it must be compatible. I think any mattress would do the same because the mesh sides of the cot are malleable and easily pushed out at an angle. The gap isn't big enough for her to get stuck down but her head did seem a bit bent back if that makes sense. This was because her head was butted up against the end/mesh of the cot.

Agh I don't know what to do now because she certainly can't stay in the next to me for much longer.

Why don't you co sleep?

Feathe · 17/01/2023 20:44

Have you seen the next2me forever, it's a bigger version of the next to me and says that it can be used until aged 4.

Hankunamatata · 17/01/2023 20:49

Mine slept in travel cots as they woke up constantly in normal cot. I use padded undersheet like this

www.amazon.co.uk/Hauck-Bed-Travel-Mattress-Sheet/dp/B00ETN7P4S/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=1DTZIK9HAWJVN&keywords=travel+cot+padded+sheet&qid=1673988435&sprefix=travel+cot+padded+sheet%2Caps%2C88&sr=8-3

Nat6999 · 17/01/2023 20:52

I had a travel cot mattress from Mothercare when ds was a baby, it wasn't a thick type, more like a duvet with extra stitching & a firm cover. It was light enough for me to pack in a suitcase when we went abroad.

Original poster
sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 20:58

I've nothing against co sleeping but it wouldn't work for us. I'm a light sleeper as it is and she would keep me awake with all of her wriggling! Plus I really don't think I'd relax. I think we need our own space, I was the same with older dc too. I like them close but not that close!

I wish I'd seen the next to me forever before shelling out for the travel cot system! The next to me forever is over £200 however so not sure I could justify it when we already have a next to me, travel cot and actual cot already!!!

I think with some reshuffling we may be able to get the cot in our room. I'm not sure how she will take to it as she really doesn't seem to like it but maybe if it's in our room in a sleeping environment she's used to she might cope better.

I've literally been going in and checking on her every 15 minutes tonight and checking the gaps with my hands while trying not to wake her! Parenting is crazy sometimes. I can clearly see that she would really have to push against the side to create a gap and even then she wouldn't get her whole head down it, not a chance. But it's on my mind now so probably need to make another change.

OP posts:
CalpolDependant · 17/01/2023 21:15

It’s a hard no from me. And I’m so laid back with my third, that I’m surprised she’s even alive tbh.

I “flex” all the rules, but I never fuck around with sleep spaces.

GettingItOutThere · 17/01/2023 21:26

buy a smaller wooden cot? these space saver ones are fab

no way would i use hwat you have described - sorry!

Original poster
sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 21:30

Thank you I have taken all of the comments on board and will make changes.

Can you just explain bluntly what the actual risk is here. I need to try and explain to dh but he's not really getting it. I've explained the danger of any gaps appearing and he said they're way too small for her to become trapped (he's right).

I'm sorry it's just that all the 'absolutely no way would I do this' comments are throwing me a bit.

OP posts:
Inyournightgarden · 17/01/2023 21:52

You’ve come in and asked for help

loads of people have said the same thing but you seem determined to argue the point

why ask?

Original poster
sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 21:58

Inyournightgarden · 17/01/2023 21:52

You’ve come in and asked for help

loads of people have said the same thing but you seem determined to argue the point

why ask?

Have you read my post? I've said I'll change it. I'm asking why people think it's so dangerous. I admit I hadn't considered any risk at all until I actually saw the mattress in the cot and realised it could create a gap due to the flexible sides. I hadn't visualised it like that at all. I don't think the gap is big enough to pose a significant risk but any risk is too much when it comes to your babies.

I'm asking because there's a shit load of conflicting advice online. Some say not to add one, other sources say it's ok as long as it's well fitting. It's unclear, that's why I'm asking.

OP posts:
OdeToBarney · 17/01/2023 22:01

I think we need a picture OP, it's hard to understand if it's a problem or not from what you're describing. However, I'd be more worried about the use of a blanket and a sleeping bag. You are only supposed to use one or the other, not both.

Merryoldgoat · 17/01/2023 22:03

OP - I got a mattress that fit my travelcot snugly. We had a terrible sleeper so had cots all over the bloody place that we tried in vain.

Give it a google with full dimensions and you’ll find one.

Original poster
sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 22:08

Merryoldgoat · 17/01/2023 22:03

OP - I got a mattress that fit my travelcot snugly. We had a terrible sleeper so had cots all over the bloody place that we tried in vain.

Give it a google with full dimensions and you’ll find one.

Thank you, I have got one with the right dimensions. It was listed alongside the travel cot as a compatible fit and is the same measurements so does fit snugly. It's just that due to the flexible sides there is a tiny gap around the sides, but only if you were to push up against it iyswim.

OP posts:
AbreathofFrenchair · 17/01/2023 22:10

sleepyhead32 · 17/01/2023 20:58

I've nothing against co sleeping but it wouldn't work for us. I'm a light sleeper as it is and she would keep me awake with all of her wriggling! Plus I really don't think I'd relax. I think we need our own space, I was the same with older dc too. I like them close but not that close!

I wish I'd seen the next to me forever before shelling out for the travel cot system! The next to me forever is over £200 however so not sure I could justify it when we already have a next to me, travel cot and actual cot already!!!

I think with some reshuffling we may be able to get the cot in our room. I'm not sure how she will take to it as she really doesn't seem to like it but maybe if it's in our room in a sleeping environment she's used to she might cope better.

I've literally been going in and checking on her every 15 minutes tonight and checking the gaps with my hands while trying not to wake her! Parenting is crazy sometimes. I can clearly see that she would really have to push against the side to create a gap and even then she wouldn't get her whole head down it, not a chance. But it's on my mind now so probably need to make another change.

You say you wouldn't relax co sleeping and she would keep you awake with her wriggling but your up and down every 15 mins checking the gaps so how relaxed are you anyway?!

I'd put her cot in your bedroom and put it next to your bed. You will all sleep better for it.