Aibu to upset | Mumsnet

Quitelikeit · 17/01/2023 16:23

What a pathetic individual your father is.

Firstly just because you visit their home with their Grandchild it does not mean you ought to carry out a chunk of their housework

Secondly I bet he talks this way to your mother

Thirdly I would ask him to explain further

Fourthly I would call him something that I am not prepared to write on here!!!

Wishimaywishimight · 17/01/2023 16:30

How rude and nasty of your dad. Is he usually pleasant? If so, maybe he was having a bad day or is feeling unwell (still rude though, not something a loving dad should say).

I would have said something though; "Excuse me?" i.e. make him say it again or at least let him know you had heard.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 17/01/2023 16:31

And now you know. Your dad's a dickhead.

Will you be able to say something to him?

You can simply stop doing things for them and tell them why, that your dad's words were very clear to hear and really insulting.

But mostly maybe you need to make sure no that your DD isn't the 4th generation of women he treats this way.

TiffanyBean · 17/01/2023 16:33

Maybe he’s a bit frustrated that you’re at his house so often? If both he and your mum have been at work all day then perhaps he’d prefer a quiet evening without you and your DD there. Was he aware you had done some housework and shopping? If he didn’t know you’d been helping out, it could be that from his perspective that you’re often at his house doing not very much rather than being in your own home.

Original poster

Kelley97 · 17/01/2023 16:40

We was invited round today for dinner. I think he said it because he was cooking tea whilst I was sat down so he walked out saying you just sit on your fat ass (whilst he was cooking) he did know I did some shopping for them. I’ve spoke to him about it and he said it was just a figure of speech?

OP posts:

caringcarer · 17/01/2023 16:41

I'd invite your Mum to your house more. Leave the grumpy old man home alone.

CaitCannoli · 17/01/2023 17:22

Eh you do seem overly sensitive, he was up cooking for you and was a bit annoyed you were just sat on your bum being catered for most likely.

IDontCareMatthew · 17/01/2023 17:31

You are over reacting!

Diffuserqueen · 17/01/2023 17:35

Yeah this is the sort of shit I’d say if I was cooking and my family was indeed sitting on their arses not helping. I’d not perceive you as a guest as such sitting waiting to be cooked for and served.

conscious · 17/01/2023 17:36

Depends what he like usually, my dad regularly says things other people would consider unacceptable but I know that's just how he speaks

CaitCannoli · 17/01/2023 17:37

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 17/01/2023 16:31

And now you know. Your dad's a dickhead.

Will you be able to say something to him?

You can simply stop doing things for them and tell them why, that your dad's words were very clear to hear and really insulting.

But mostly maybe you need to make sure no that your DD isn't the 4th generation of women he treats this way.

What an over reaction.

Many people would say similar if they had a family member round doing fuck all when they were being cooked for.

UnctuousUnicorns · 17/01/2023 17:37

To those claiming the OP is overreacting, all I can say is, I'm bloody glad my parents don't speak to me like this, nor I them. Figure of speech my (fat) arse! Rude and nasty, more like. What lovely families some of you must have.

CaitCannoli · 17/01/2023 17:40

UnctuousUnicorns · 17/01/2023 17:37

To those claiming the OP is overreacting, all I can say is, I'm bloody glad my parents don't speak to me like this, nor I them. Figure of speech my (fat) arse! Rude and nasty, more like. What lovely families some of you must have.

Some people just are a bit more lighthearted. Gosh you’d cry at the shit I’ve called my siblings in similar situations!

IDontCareMatthew · 17/01/2023 17:41

UnctuousUnicorns · 17/01/2023 17:37

To those claiming the OP is overreacting, all I can say is, I'm bloody glad my parents don't speak to me like this, nor I them. Figure of speech my (fat) arse! Rude and nasty, more like. What lovely families some of you must have.

Oh my! 😂 😂

Bellaboo01 · 17/01/2023 17:46

Kelley97 · 17/01/2023 16:12

Hi

aibu to be upset. I’m a single parent and spend quite a lot of time at my parents house with my DD who is 3. Not there everyday but they live near by and we do call in. We were invited for dinner here. They were at work and whilst my DD was at nursery I tidied up their house and did some shopping for them. Went back to theirs and I was sat down and heard my dad mumble about me when he walked out the room ‘you just sit on your fat ass’ aibu to be upset

Oh that sounds horrible to hear.

I am sure that your Dad didn't mean anything by it but, i can understand that it would have felt so upsetting.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 17/01/2023 17:52

CaitCannoli · 17/01/2023 17:37

What an over reaction.

Many people would say similar if they had a family member round doing fuck all when they were being cooked for.

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Your bar is very low. Or maybe, like OPs father, you feel it's OK to ignore anything done beforehand and to only focus on this very second.

Like the rest of us people like you and OPs dad could simply open their mouths and ask said family member to do x,y or z.

CaitCannoli · 17/01/2023 17:56

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 17/01/2023 17:52

Your bar is very low. Or maybe, like OPs father, you feel it's OK to ignore anything done beforehand and to only focus on this very second.

Like the rest of us people like you and OPs dad could simply open their mouths and ask said family member to do x,y or z.

Show quote history

Or he is in a grump and said it under his breath because she is sitting on her arse doing nothing.

Goodness me, some really uptight people on here tonight

Sotellmethisandnomore · 17/01/2023 18:04

How often are you and your daughter there?

IDontCareMatthew · 17/01/2023 18:06

Sotellmethisandnomore · 17/01/2023 18:04

How often are you and your daughter there?

I detect a nit of guilt/underlying issues around this from the op

Perhaps she's projecting a bit

ZekeZeke · 17/01/2023 18:33

Rude comment by your father.
How many days a week do you drop in?
You seem to treat your parents home as your own tidying their house and doing shopping for them not normal at all and totally overstepping.
Stop going around so often and invite your mother to yours?

N27 · 17/01/2023 18:44

I’m not sure I’m following the time line. Were you at your parents house during the day when they were at work and child was at nursery?

who invited you? Both of them or just your dad?

im fairly certain my mum often invites people round when my dad cba and would rather be left in peace 😂

OliveWah · 17/01/2023 18:44

I'd have said "Oi, you cheeky bugger! I've just done your shopping and I've tidied your house, least you can do is cook me some dinner!", but I would assume he'd been speaking in jest, cos surely no one is that oblivious? Don't give it another thought OP, his grump is not your problem - you sound like a lovely daughter!

Diffuserqueen · 17/01/2023 20:48

IDontCareMatthew · 17/01/2023 17:41

Oh my! 😂 😂

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Well where did you learn it then, if it wasn’t from your parents, you kjow. To talk to people like shit?😂

gamerchick · 17/01/2023 20:59

Got a decent sized de ja vu here. Sure I've read this or very similar to this before. Grumpy dad, daughter constantly at their house with kid.

Conkersinautumn · 17/01/2023 21:56

Just step back. Invite them to yours and for walls or out somewhere.