To think these questions are inappropriate?

[ButterflyGildedWings]

Apprentice who’s just joined and in their first job.

They’ve asked me questions such as “am I dating anyone” and if my handbag was a fake. They also took a photo of me in work without my permission which made me very uncomfortable.

Reading that back it sounds like flirting but it’s definitely not, as presumably she’s straight as she has a long term boyfriend.

She just sounds young to me and making general conversation.

I'm not a good gauge of what's deemed inappropriate but within a conversation neither of those questions sounds particularly out of place to me. She's obviously shared that she has a boyfriend so asking for similar information seems reasonable. I'd say she was admiring your handbag and knowing they can be expensive wondered if it was a copy (which she still liked). If you said yes, its fake, she would have prob said Looks good though, if you'd have said no, she'd have said lucky you. No judgement.
I'm not sure if this applies but I've noticed that if someone is young, confident and chatty there's a type of person that seems to take an instant dislike to them. When asked why they don't like them grey say they're 'too full of themselves' or similar but can't give specific examples of what their 'offence' is.
Could this be the case? Would you feel differently if someone else had asked?

What did you say when she took your photo??

@Hoppinggreen 😂😂😂😂

We have 2 apprentices at work, in the engineering industry, so very dirty, lots of metal burs around etc.. One of them had really long hair and to start with would argue with the trainer about tying it up, now thankfully does, music had to be banned for a while as he was forever fiddling with Spotify and not listening, thankfully that's calmed down and we're allowed it again now. The owner of the company caught him lying on the floor just playing on his phone once 😂🙈 it's his first ever job and I don't think he kmows how to act or what's acceptable

Reading that back it sounds like flirting

It really doesn’t. It just sounds like young, clueless in the workplace inexperience.

I wouldn’t see any harm in someone asking about the authenticity of a bag, to be honest. It might not even dawn on your colleague that someone would take offence to it, if it isn’t something she herself would consider offensive. She’s probably more admiring it than anything else!

I don’t need to be warm and friendly at work. I’m in a professional setting.

How depressing. It is entirley possible to be warm and friendly and professional.

She sounds inexperienced, which we all were at some point in fairness.

Going against the grain here but I don't think 'are you dating?' is an appropriate question to ask in a professional setting, unless it's relevant to the conversation or you've built up a decent rapport with the other person. I work for a big multi-national though, might be different in other organisations.

Well yeah you don’t need to be, but then that’ll be why you’re not making great relationships with people. Sorry that you’ve been led to believe friendly and professional are mutually exclusive, that can’t be much fun for anyone.

If your general attitude in the workplace is similar to how it has been on this thread, towards people who were perfectly pleasant towards you OP, then I can see how a young apprentice in her first job would find you intimidating and might scramble for things to make conversation with. Try being friendly towards her and she may feel more at ease and less likely to make awkward comments. I wouldn't find them offensive though, personally.

Lol

you’re exceptionally rude. maybe she feels the same and is winding you up on purpose?

You should be friendly and pleasant at work.

I work in a professional setting, and I would be mortified to be anything other than amiable.

You sound terrible.

Reading that back it sounds like flirting but it’s definitely not, as presumably she’s straight

That's a strange thing to think. Unless maybe you are obviously not straight and you're projecting? Sounds like she's seeking your approval and friendship. Or you make her nervous.

Just sounds like a kid trying to get along with the old lady in the corner to me.

(As even 26 sounds ancient to a school leaver, I'm definitely one of the elderly in our apprentices' eyes!).

She sounds a bit clueless tbh. Poor kid sounds like she has no idea how to talk to adults.

She talking to you as she would one of her peers, which given your responses on here is clearly not going to go down well with you.

Obviously, you can be as unfriendly as you like, I'm not sure that necessarily makes you more professional though.

I'm surprised you didn't say something to her regarding the photograph, extremely odd behaviour on her part.

What a horrible attitude.

Because it was a stupid fucking question. And not 'in good faith' at all.

@ButterflyGildedWings Presume she's 18ish? I'd have a quiet word (or ask her manager to) just about office ettiquette. I say this as I know a lad who tried so hard to fit in with the office 'banter' and took it too far - it led to him ultimately being fired. And while what she has so far asked has just been a bit irritating, she needs to know what is and isn't appropriate in a work setting.

She sounds full on but well-meaning. The photo thing would piss me off too, though.

Warm and friendly still usually gets you further in a professional setting.

Maybe remove the pole from your backside

Are you responsible for her professional development? Or can you feed back to her line manager? Surely the whole purpose of being an apprentice is to learn all kinds of work related skills such as appropriate behaviour in the workplace. No need to make it a big thing but I would explain, directly to her if you can, that photos aren't on.

Perhaps this new person is feeling awkward and extremely nervous and their mouth says stuff before their brain has caught up. I was on my final teaching practice 30 odd years ago. One of the teachers had a child be explosively sick in her classroom. I was trying to make conversation as it was only me and her in the staffroom and she was quite ( very) intimidating. I mentioned the sickness horror. She asked if I had seen it I person. 'No" I said, 'I can smell it". Her classroom was the other side of the school. The only reason I could smell it was because she smelt of it. She looked, quite rightly, astonished and horrified. I wanted to die on the spot. My mouth had uttered a stupid, stupid thing because I was young and awkward. You could have brushed off the dating question and laughed kindly at the fake comment. The photo is odd but maybe their mum had asked about you and it was the easiest way to show her. Not appropriate but not the end of the world either.

that's the thing, I agree they could be used to talking a similar way as in the op, with their friends and not had experience of being in a more professional setting etc

Did she tell you why she was taking your photo? What did you say when she took it, and how did she react?

I think it might be worth someone having a friendly (and quiet) word with her about what is and isn't acceptable in the office. If no one tells her, she's only going to find out that things are unacceptable once she's said them, which seems like it could get her into some tricky situations and could cause upset and embarrassment to colleagues. I think it would be kind to remind her it's a professional workplace and let her know that if she is ever confused about what might be unacceptable, then she can check with you (or whoever has the quiet word with her) first, without judgement. We all have to learn somehow, and I think that some kids these days don't seem to understand the definition between casual and professional as easily as most of those from previous generations have.

But yeah, she was inappropriate, YANBU.