Co worker keeps giving me evils

19lottie82 · 17/01/2023 00:50

Every time she gives you a dirty look, just flash her a massive grin.

Original poster

Watermeloncocktail · 17/01/2023 01:14

That's not a bad idea 😂 💡

OP posts:

FrenchBoule · 17/01/2023 01:18

Keep your head up,icily polite and stare back with a smile to finish.
Keep going

BerylOnTheBuses · 17/01/2023 01:38

Is there anyone you can confide in at work? I just wonder if it may be beneficial in case the girl becomes nasty?

Judgyjudgy · 17/01/2023 01:46

This sounds extreme, I'd actually ask her if you've done something (or if you don't want to be that direct, ask another colleague). Either she's crazy or thinks you've done something, so probably best to nip it in the bud

ClaryFairchild · 17/01/2023 01:51

Ask someone if there's something wrong or whether she just has a resting bitch face... 😬

Imissmybabygirl · 17/01/2023 01:58

I have this with couple of girls in my office, It was hard at first but thankfully I don't work with them, everyone else like me so I just ignore them. I think it's jealousy. Don't let them bother you.

daemonologie · 17/01/2023 02:02

If she's doing it to you she would have done it to someone else before. People like this have form and are known for it. Write a log to see if there is a pattern to it

romdowa · 17/01/2023 02:11

I'd ask her if she has got something in her eye.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/01/2023 02:15

This woman simply does not matter. Your life will be so much better when you finally get to the point where you don't give a shit about people like this. Act as though she doesn't even exist.

ComfortablyDazed · 17/01/2023 02:19

I had this is a previous job - one time in more than 25 years of working, and I still remember it. You can have a zillion experiences of lovely, or even neutral colleagues, but it will be the one horrible/icy one that sticks in your mind.

It’s all well and good people saying she doesn’t matter, but it’s not that easy.

I pick up on all the non-verbal communication, and so found this excruciating.

I ended up leaving the job, not because of her, but it was part of a wider decision to leave somewhere I was really unhappy.

This was over a decade ago, and have (touch wood) never experienced it since.

Original poster

Watermeloncocktail · 17/01/2023 23:33

Thanks ladies 😘

She does this thing that I call googly eyes like the way a moody child might speak to you. Like a duhh expression if that makes sense. I find it so patronising. Actually speaks to me like a child who's been bold. I haven't noticed her act this way with anyone else. She does have things going on at home but let's face it who doesn't. I honestly feel so stupid for letting it bug me but it is tipping me over the edge.

Work is hard enough without causing nonsense like this imo.

OP posts:

Judgyjudgy · 18/01/2023 00:34

I'd honestly just as her directly if she's being so blatant about it. Just say "have I done something to upset you" or "what??" and look at her confused when she does it. I'd just call her on it (it's not being rude if she's being so blatant)

pinkpotatoez · 18/01/2023 02:07

I don't understand how people bite their tongue in these situations, either give her dirty look back or ask her what her problem is, she'll soon stop

Trez1510 · 18/01/2023 02:29

Maybe you look like the girl her boyfriend ditched her for?

I'm only half-joking as that happened to me once.

A friend of a friend whom I'd never previously met took an immediate and obvious dislike to me. I knew it wasn't my imagination because my other friend who was also with us was astonished at the instant/obvious reaction to me too.

I asked our mutual friend if her friend was always like that. She said no, but there was more than a passing resemblance between men and the woman who 'stole' her husband! lol

LlynTegid · 18/01/2023 05:37

Don't let her home life be an excuse to accept unacceptable behaviour, however you try to tackle it.

SkankingWombat · 18/01/2023 07:30

ClaryFairchild · 17/01/2023 01:51

Ask someone if there's something wrong or whether she just has a resting bitch face... 😬

The latter part was my initial thought too 😂 My DD has ASD, and if you didn't know you'd think she was scowl-y or unhappy most of the time (she isn't). She also has no filter or patience, so can make some pretty blunt comments accompanied with eye rolling if she thinks something's stupid/inefficient/etc (she's 8, we're working on it!). It doesn't make the comments OK and as with DD, she needs to keep the bluntness and sarcasm inside her head. I like the idea of disarming her by smiling back, plus adding in a 'wow, that was a bit blunt/rude/etc, haha!'. See if she gets the hint!

underneaththeash · 18/01/2023 07:45

I had someone take a massive dislike to me in my first job, no idea why. Sneered at me constantly. It was quite unsettling and I'm usually very confident. Invited the whole practice to her wedding except me.

It did backfire on her though, I had a 2 day holiday booked in the middle of the time she wanted off for her honeymoon. Which she asked me to change (and I could have easily done). Sorry no.
I also became her manager a few months later.

Marigoldandivy · 18/01/2023 08:04

Maybe she applied for your job and didn’t get it. Not that that would be an excuse for acting the way she is. I’d ask her outright.

Streamingbannersofdawn · 18/01/2023 08:13

Oh gosh I've got one of these. She is frankly a pain in the bum with zero people skills. I spent ages thinking it was me but watching carefully she is like it with lots of people and you can see people gritting their teeth and bearing it.

Unfortunately she is a favourite of the MD and has a been given a lot of power even though nobody seems able to say what her job title even is.

I go in, do my job to the best of my ability and ignore her crap. I am not going to be upset because she is a gigantic anus...I'm also looking for another job.

Rest assured these people are everywhere you are not alone.

LimitIsUp · 18/01/2023 08:27

Watermeloncocktail · 17/01/2023 00:49

There's this one girl at work. We don't have any history of conflict ect and we actually work in different departments. I'm relatively new to the establishment and the industry. But when we do come in to contact she's snappy towards me and gives dirty looks. I haven't witnessed her act like this towards others. Immature I know and I probably should just ignore it but this behaviour really upsets me and makes me feel so uneasy and self conscious to the point where I under perform due to being upset. I don't know what to do... Aibu to want to leave this workplace or even for letting it bother me?

This kind of thing happens to lovely / quiet / nice people who are non-confrontational - people like this woman can sniff them out. I am not victim blaming - it's absolutely not you fault, she's a bitch! But she knows how it is making you feel and getting a power buzz from it. Guaranteed she wouldn't do it if she felt you were going to bite back.

I know you can't radically change your personality to be assertive and challenge her (or maybe you can?), but you might be able to pull off nonchalance? Acting as if you haven't noticed her attitude, being cheerful and smiley in interactions with her? This way she isn't get the desired reaction from you and should tire of it

LimitIsUp · 18/01/2023 08:29

Oops - didn't mean to quote your opening post