Restaurants should have a child free section

[Hdaniels11]

I keener old smoking/non smoking sections at restaurants. They should do the same thing with children/no children sections. I was at a testy with a few friends last night and the table next to mine had two screaming children. Another table had their 4 maybe 5 year old son stun up and down the aisle nearly knocking over the waitress with a tray full of drinks. We asked to move because it was just too noisy and disturbing, after that we had no more distractions and were actually able to converse with one another.

A lot of that reminds me of my sister, her husband believes in being the kids "friend" rather than the parent and says things like "boys will be boys" and "they are just getting their energy out" i just roll my eyes when he says that. NO it's a restaurant not a playground.

As a parent myself i actually think it's a good idea from the other side. It's embarrassing to have your child screaming and acting a fool in public, Around other parents you would at least get a little more empathy.

How did it ruin your meal when you took it upon yourself to pick the things up in the first place?

You could have pointed out to the parent that their child was throwing things on the floor and let the parent pick it up or ignored them.

I think there's a lot of people that just need to get a grip tbh

I do agree with you. Not just for the sake of people who don’t want to be around children though.

People with children can eat in restaurants without having to be perfect. Children aren’t always perfect, and they do make noise. Especially when they’re little or if they’re like my DD who has additional needs. Being able to go out for a meal with my family for a birthday without having to worry what the people on the next table are thinking would actually be quite nice.

So yes, a section were people who want quiet can disappear to will actually be quite helpful to some parents.

Respect? Nope. A persons special occasion isn’t my special occasion and neither is it the special occasion of anyone I’d be eating with in a very good restaurant. If a restaurant deems my grandchildren old enough to be there I won’t keeping them at home and if that bothers people they can get a takeaway and eat it in their kitchen.

And yes, the world is a rich tapestry etc etc and it won’t do anyone any harm to be sitting next to a family having a meal in a nice restaurant. In fact the may even learn from it.

So screw everyone else, basically? The couple on an average wage save all year to eat at The Fat Duck to celebrate their wedding anniversary, never done it before, not likely to again, Mrs bought a new outfit, Mr polished his shoes. It doesn't matter that screaming toddlers with ipads on full blast drowns out their quiet conversation, the description of each dish, the sommelier wine recommendation. Their once in a lifetime £1,000 meal doesn't matter and they should have got a takeaway?

You are either having a good crack at playing devils advocate or you are an extremely selfish person.

What makes you think that the couple with the young child haven't saved for months to go with grandparents for a special 65 birthday celebration at the Fat Duck as a family? They also aren't ever likely to go. Certainly not as a family as granny just got a cancer diagnosis.

My point here being, why does anyones reason to go to the Fat Duck trump anyone else's? Is there a certain a social hierarchy where families and children are deemed lesser and must defer to couples because....? No there's not. We live in a country where we are all supposed to be equal. I believe age is a protected characteristic under the equality act. Do you know what discrimination is?

We don't know what reason the people at the next table have to be in a restaurant. Cos it's none of our fucking business and the second you start talking about 'legitimate' reasons and a hierarchy of legitimacy you run into a sticky wicket.

Disrupting other customers applies equally to unruly children as it does to adults. If that's the case then an establishment should reserve the right to ask them to leave or to pay a surcharge imho. It has to be reasonable though and not simply for kids daring to breathe.

People would do well to learn tolerance though.

Yet another kids hate thread on mumsnet

now you’re being ridiculous. Those children are nothing to do with me. But that aside I don’t for a minute think the Fat Duck would tolerate that behaviour.

And this nonsense about respecting other people being on a night out? Why? It’s ourselves we should be respecting by behaving and carrying ourselves in a way that means our behaviour doesn’t have an adverse effect on others.

Theres absolutely no way I’d be leaving any of my grandchildren at home if they were of age to be in the restaurant , just as I would never have left my children at home either if it was an occasion meal. And if people don’t want to share a restaurant with children who are used to being there then yes, they really can stay at home.

And as for children misbehaving even in a coffee shop - I would never keep quiet and if that didn’t work I’d trip them up.

Yes and I say that as a parent

You missed the nuance. Yes you ‘train’ the behaviour at home but you are also ‘training’ them to enjoy the experience. Like I said in my PP we had dinner next to a lovely 2 year old at a tasting menu restaurant with DS who was 9 at the time. It was obviously to both me and the other mum that this wasn’t unusual behaviour to either child because sitting down at dinner discussing the different courses was normal, obviously the conversations with a 2 year old are different to that of a preteen and teenager.

DS has begged for years to go to the Fat Duck it is exactly the sort of thing he would enjoy but I’ve held off because I know there are any number of people who are offended at the presence of a child. Personally I’d like there to be a special section for those who can’t hold their cutlery properly or talk with their mouth full, all behaviours of middle aged adults I’ve seen eating out.

It’s like being on Reddit more and more these days.

Assuming the children behave in a manner befitting their surroundings I wouldn't care, I'd actually be quite pleased to see them. I think we're more closely aligned here than you think. @NanaWelshcake too. I agree that respecting yourself by your behaviour is important, but why is it wrong to have respect for what others want too?

What I object to would be bad behaviour or loud voices, not their sheer presence. If the children you bring can, in your honest judgement meet the behaviour needed for such a place, as to not disturb other guests then I'm all for them being there.

Nobody here is 'offended at the presence of a child', it is fairly consistent that the objections on here is the presence of misbehaving children and the parents who insist on bringing said children to what can be broadly classed as adult environments.

I have to confess when I was 9 I was begging my mum for the latest lego set or a BMX bike, not to experience a tasting menu at a michelin starred restaurant. Clearly my folks had failed in not properly 'training' me to enjoy such pleasures.

I would love to hear the conversation between that mum and a two year old when discussing the various courses at the Fat Duck.

"How is your caviar sorbet, oak moss and truffle toast"

"Well mummy, it was multi-sensory gastronomic journey of history, nostalgia, emotion and memory. I can't wait for the endive, vanilla mayonnaise and golden trout roe"

And as for 'training' them to enjoy the experience it really comes across as competitive 'look at me' parenting of the most pretentious sort.

"Little Archie here absolutely loves pan fried scallops with deconstructed joselito ham and shaved fennel, don't you Archie?"

"Poo poo bum"

Anti child thread.

However some people need to parent better.

Was at the theatre in the evening entertainment complex on holiday. A girl was standing on her chair watching and blocking the view.
Why couldn't the mother have told her to sit down properly and watch do that people behind can see.
Lack of common sense and manners but not the child's fault.
Also we were all children once.

Having spent all morning cleaning the floor to ceiling glass doors and windows inside and out, I then welcome a customer and her toddler into my restaurant for lunch today. Customer was very nice, toddler very cute. We were quiet, a few earlier tables had already left, so lady decided to let the toddler loose with a handful of wotsits...... which toddler then decided to smear all over my nice clean windows. I directed toddler back to lady and asked that toddler be sat down, particularly as head was exact height of the tables corners.... customer tried to say it wasn't a problem, if toddler hit head would be her fault not ours, etc.

As I said we were quiet so no big deal, kid was quiet and didn't disturb anyone.
However we have had cause to ask a family to leave when the didn't stop a child repeatedly banging cutlery on our tables having been asked several times.
Or another parent who thought it was ok to let her kid ride his mini scooter up and down the restaurant!

We do now have a rule that no under 12's after 7pm on a Friday or Saturday night. That might not sit well with everyone but when you are a small establishment, you have to take decisions that benefit the majority of customers.

Or another parent who thought it was ok to let her kid ride his mini scooter up and down the restaurant!

Of course if he had banged into a member of staff carrying hot drinks or food and got it spilt on him the restaurant would have been entirely to blame.

@KimberleyClark of course it would, better to not have to hassle in the first place but an outright ban is a tad harsh

I think this is discriminatory. Any behaviour that destroys the atmosphere should be challenged - so excessive noise, running around etc. But otherwise, more meals out have been affected by noisy adult groups/ loud adults with carrying' voices than by children.

Alas, those times and places don't seem to exist anymore.