To wonder if constant reminders mean that a DC is not actually potty trained?

[SophieLaGeroff]

Over a week into potty training and accidents are thankfully few, but I think this is because DCs (aged 3) are taken to the toilet every hour, whether they say they need it or not.

But is this actually potty training if it's just about me telling them to sit on the toilet? They do occasionally ask to go at other times.

When do I lessen or stop the reminders? Is this a necessary stage or should I have been leaving it more to them from the beginning?

It's normal to have to tell them for a long time. I just used to take my DC regularly until they could reliably start to notice.

If they ask to go to the toilet I’d lessen the reminders when at home and see what happens.

My DD is 9 and I still have to remind her to use the toilet 🤣 otherwise suddenly it’s “INEEDAWEEIMDESPERATE” (usually when I’m in the loo)

Sounds completely normal for a week in while they are learning - they are doing well. Next step I’d gradually drop the reminders or at least space them out while you’re just at home (I have primary age kids I still send to the toilet if we’re going out!) and see what happens. They don’t actually need to go every hour and you don’t want to train them to never hold more than a dribble. They need to learn their body’s cues - if you send them every hour they aren’t ever learning what it feels like to need to go, how much time they need to allow, waiting for a while if they need to… They will probably also start rebelling against the constant toilet trips once the novelty wears off!

Thanks, I'll try reducing the reminders to every 90 mins then and then maybe every two hours? And then just if we're leaving the house?

Completely agree with this.

He's not trained until he tells you. At some points you need to let him feel a full bladder maybe have an accident or two so he relates the feeling of a full bladder with going. Gradually extend the time and just say tell. Me when you need to go.

In all honesty I think it takes a good few months for them to be really reliable and then more time on top to be independent with wiping etc. once you know they can take themselves when they need it, sort out clothes etc life gets much easier. I found with both of mine the first 3 months or so post potty training was much harder than nappies as you have to be thinking about reminders etc. Also be prepared for a regression. They get so much praise at the start and can feel really proud but it can be really normal for them to suddenly and inexplicably go backwards.

I’d stop with the reminders except before going out. As pp said they need to learn the sensation of a full bladder and the urge to go.

We are nearly three weeks in now and mostly stopped the reminders over the weekend, mostly because regular reminders seemed to stress her out. There were no accidents! She told us when she needed to go.

I don't think she gets much warning though, so not ideal for when we go out... Will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Completely normal for a week in, but yes it does mean they’re not trained, but in training

Do you need to go to the toilet every hour OP? Agree in the first week that regular reminders are good but they need to understand what a fuller bladder feels like. If that means they have an accident then so be it. The majority of 3 year old should easily get this

Thanks for the advice - I reduced and then stopped the reminders completely a couple of days after posting. Don't want to curse myself now but we've only had one small wee accident (was just about to get on the toilet so only a minute too late) so I think we might have cracked it!

Only one DC in nappies now!

Sounds like you've turned a corner! Great news!