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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s fine to use car seats in a taxi?

36 replies

Colourmix · 15/01/2023 22:53

My DD is 4 and I don’t drive (recently started lessons). I don’t get taxis very often, but whenever I do I put DD in her carseat which seems totally normal to me as I wouldn’t want to put her at risk if we ended up in a crash.

People are really weird about it though, like a surprising amount of people and it’s always the exact same conversation, like they’re reading a script! A few of my neighbours, at least 4 different taxi drivers, a few parents at playgroups, my in laws, random strangers that see me waiting for a taxi home. They all tell me that I don’t need a carseat for taxis, I politely reply that it’s just to keep her safe, they respond with ‘just sit them on your knee, it’s just as safe as a car seat!’ I smile politely and say something like ‘Oh can you? I didn’t know that, thank you. I’ll still take it to be on the safe side though’ then they proceed to act really offended and tell me about how they never use car seats for their kids and they’ve never had a problem, being really pushy about it. I never know what to say so I just give a polite little laugh or smile and pretend to be busy with DD or on my phone.

I didn’t think much of it the first few times but it’s happened so often that I’m second guessing myself. Is it really that unusual to use one in taxis?

OP posts:
AndyWarholsPiehole · 15/01/2023 22:55

Do you end up carrying the acrseat around with you all day if you've used a taxi to go somewhere?

Original poster
Colourmix · 15/01/2023 22:57

@AndyWarholsPiehole I usually just chuck it in the trolley if we go shopping or stick it on a chair if we go out for food. If we’re going to be walking around a lot I just walk or get the bus/train.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 15/01/2023 22:57

It depends where you are going. If you have somewhere to leave the car seat or store it at your destination then if you want to use it, use it.

Original poster
Colourmix · 15/01/2023 23:09

The part I find weird is how defensive people get even when I’m polite and agreeable about it. It’s like they take it as a direct insult to their parenting if I continue to use a car seat after they’ve told me that they never use one.

OP posts:
sunflowerdaisyrose · 15/01/2023 23:30

Your friends seem a bit strange to me - whenever I've got a taxi with mine we've taken the car seats (and noone's commented). Of course it's the safest option!

Thesonglastslonger · 15/01/2023 23:33

Colourmix · 15/01/2023 23:09

The part I find weird is how defensive people get even when I’m polite and agreeable about it. It’s like they take it as a direct insult to their parenting if I continue to use a car seat after they’ve told me that they never use one.

That’s exactly it. People want you to validate their choices. By saying you carry it for safety reasons, they’re hearing you saying to them “You deliberately made your child unsafe, I don’t.” So they challenge your thinking.

Try saying “Oh she prefers it and I don’t mind.”

I had such a row with DH about taking a booster seat on holiday to use for two weeks in our hire car! Seemed to offend him on a deep level somehow. And I’m pretty sure we were legally required to in that country anyway 🤷‍♀️

tommika · 16/01/2023 12:27

Colourmix · 15/01/2023 22:53

My DD is 4 and I don’t drive (recently started lessons). I don’t get taxis very often, but whenever I do I put DD in her carseat which seems totally normal to me as I wouldn’t want to put her at risk if we ended up in a crash.

People are really weird about it though, like a surprising amount of people and it’s always the exact same conversation, like they’re reading a script! A few of my neighbours, at least 4 different taxi drivers, a few parents at playgroups, my in laws, random strangers that see me waiting for a taxi home. They all tell me that I don’t need a carseat for taxis, I politely reply that it’s just to keep her safe, they respond with ‘just sit them on your knee, it’s just as safe as a car seat!’ I smile politely and say something like ‘Oh can you? I didn’t know that, thank you. I’ll still take it to be on the safe side though’ then they proceed to act really offended and tell me about how they never use car seats for their kids and they’ve never had a problem, being really pushy about it. I never know what to say so I just give a polite little laugh or smile and pretend to be busy with DD or on my phone.

I didn’t think much of it the first few times but it’s happened so often that I’m second guessing myself. Is it really that unusual to use one in taxis?

‘just sit them on your knee, it’s just as safe as a car seat!’

The existence, popularity and legal requirements of car seats show a difference of opinion

If the taxi is a dedicated taxi design then the situation is ‘different’
A child in the back isn’t going to be thrown through the windscreen or into the back of the driver
A city centre taxi ride isn’t going to be getting up to the ‘dangerous’ speeds

But this is your child and your choice
Its your ‘inconvenience’ to carry a car seat around

But ultimately, a child properly secured in a vehicle is safer than not

DowntonCrabby · 16/01/2023 12:30

You’re being too polite to unsolicited advice.

“You don’t need a car seat in taxis”

“Yes, I know thanks, we’re using one anyway.”

RecoIIectionsMayVary · 16/01/2023 12:34

Ask them why, why don't you need a car seat?

Parental convenience is the only reason.

What magic force are they using to protect the child in the event of an accident?

Bunnycat101 · 16/01/2023 12:39

People are weird about car seats and see your choice as a direct attack on them. It’s just nonsense to suggest a child is just as safe sitting on a knee. It’s one thing if you’re doing the odd taxi journey in an emergency but you seem to be doing them regularly so it’s only natural you’d be a bit more on it taxi transport and what works for your routine. By the fact that so many people agonise about car seats on holiday shows most people probably wouldn’t be so chilled about regular taxi use without car seats for young children.

Ilkleymoor · 16/01/2023 12:49

Before we had a car I purposely used a taxi service that would provide a car seat as long as you told them ahead of time. Taxi to the airport goes on a motorway, why wouldn't I want one? Company didn't cost extra and were also very relaxed about travelling with crying child.

BertieBotts · 16/01/2023 14:08

Of course it isn't just as safe on your lap! A four year old should be in their own seatbelt if not using a car seat.

You're right. But it's a funny thing I've noticed - people get weirdly defensive about anything where you're "supposed to" choose one option and IRL many people choose the opposite. Doesn't matter if it's sleeping arrangements, car seats, screen time, discipline, child nutrition. If there's one "technically right" answer but a large number of people do the "technically wrong" thing (and often for perfectly valid reasons!) it seems there is some kind of social barrier to saying "Do you know what, I know it's not as safe, but I don't bring a car seat because it's impractical. I'm totally OK with that very small risk the very rare times we take a taxi. It works for me."

Instead people seem to need to convince themselves that their choice is either equal or superior to the one they think they are "supposed to" take, and then they seem to decide that you having made the "supposed to" decision means that you're sitting on a high horse judging them (when usually you aren't at all - just doing what works for your family) and so they wax lyrical about all these made up reasons, because they need to convince you too. Confused

It's really funny when you notice it. I wonder why we do this? It must be some kind of psychological thing.

Outwiththenorm · 16/01/2023 14:10

ILs tried to convince us DS would be fine on my lap for a 30 mile trip in a taxi when he was 4 months old - ‘but it’s legal! We checked!’ Utter insanity.

PuttingDownRoots · 16/01/2023 14:12

The rules about taxis and car seats are about practicality rather han safety. They are always going to be safer in the car seat. As its the drivers responsibility, it just means they are not expected to carry one.

Ponderingwindow · 16/01/2023 14:17

People want to justify their own poor safety choices. Just ignore them and keep following best practices.

cupofdecaf · 16/01/2023 14:22

You're making them feel bad that they would put their children at risk. They don't like to realise that.

I think you're doing the best thing.

If on knees was safe then it'd be legal in normal cars. Frankly I don't think most car seats are good enough and we sought a specialist seat recently that's tested much better. Not easy to switch between cars though.

We get the same response about extended rear facing which I think will be the norm soon.

Original poster
Colourmix · 16/01/2023 15:14

Thanks everyone, getting some perspective has helped, I don’t feel like I’m being ‘OTT’ now. I think you’re all right about it making people feel like they need to defend their choice because they know it’s the more ‘frowned upon’ option, but a pp is right and ideally they should just own their decision because most people are too busy getting on with their lives to care much. I used to get very similar reactions whenever anybody found out that I was breastfeeding, but I always put that down to the ‘breast is best’ campaign apparently hurting a lot of feelings a few years prior.

@cupofdecaf Oh god yes! The in laws fought me so hard on this one until the day she turned 4. I’ll be buying one of those seats which rearface until 6 if I pass my test soon, they’re going to be horrified😂

OP posts:
RockyOfTheRovers · 16/01/2023 15:30

Pretty sure the rule about not needing a car seat in a taxi only applies if the journey is a short, unexpected trip. If it’s a planned trip, you are supposed to arrange a car seat.
You’re in the right. Don’t compromise on safety.

BertieBotts · 16/01/2023 16:43

Rocky, that exception is for private cars.

You can take a child in a private car without a car seat if it's short, necessary and unexpected. Over 3 years old the child must use a seatbelt instead in this case. Under 3 years they don't have to.

So for example if you are in town and see someone you know and offer a lift home, that's short and unexpected, but not necessary = no exception. If it was pouring down with rain and you have a small child with no rain cover then maybe necessary and that's fine.

If you need to take your child to hospital, that is necessary and unexpected, but you have to choose the closest - if you decided to drive right across the city to a different hospital for no reason, that's not short = no exception.

If you regularly drive a short distance so that they can attend school, that is short and necessary, but it's not unexpected. You have to use a car seat.

In reality of course nobody is monitoring 24/7 to make sure you're using a car seat but if you were stopped by police for not using one, you can use the "short, necessary, unexpected" defence to explain why you are not using a car seat even though the child is of the age where they need one.

The other exception is if you have three children, a five seater car and can't fit a car seat in the middle, the oldest child is allowed to travel without one if they are over 3.

(And medical exemptions).

It's never legally required in taxis although it is still safer to use one obviously.

If you need to put a child on your lap always put them on top of your seatbelt. If you are both under your seatbelt, your weight could crush them against the belt.

Excited101 · 16/01/2023 16:45

People are scarily thick when it comes to car safety and kids. 4 year olds should be still rear facing to be safe, yet even the ‘experts’ in the car seat shops don’t know that.

Keep doing what you’re doing- it’s totally safe to use no car restraints at all… unless you’re in a crash… you'll be the one with the alive child.

jcyclops · 16/01/2023 19:19

www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat
Taxis and minicabs (private hire vehicles)
If the driver doesn’t provide the correct child car seat, children can travel without one - but only if they travel on a rear seat:

  • and wear an adult seat belt if they’re 3 or older
  • without a seat belt if they’re under 3 (and sit on your lap)

It seems that most taxi drivers are just informing you accurately of the rules, possibly to save you the trouble next time, and I would think none of them would say you can't use a seat. When using taxis and putting stuff in the boot I have sometimes seen car seats in there for use by passengers when required (although whether they offer them to parents or choose to save the hassle of getting it out and fixing it is a different matter).

The only wrong advice you have been given is to sit a 4-year-old on your lap.

I admire your willingness to take and use your own car seats.

SomethingOriginal2 · 16/01/2023 19:31

YANBU I DO NOT understand why people think taxis are somehow safer than private vehicles in the event of a crash. Legally its OK, but that doesn't make it safe.

We took our rear facing car seat abroad with us and put it in every taxi

gogohmm · 16/01/2023 19:38

There's also portable boosters available which obviously aren't as good as the larger permanently installed ones but might be a good halfway solution

Clouds3898 · 16/01/2023 19:42

Not much advice on handling these morons but can I suggest the new trunki booster seat? It's basically a back pack that becomes a car seat. It's a game changer!