Would you call her out on this?

[Partyatno10]

My mum and dad have been divorced for many years. Civil to each other when they do see each other, Grown up children with grandchildren etc, so barely see each other maybe once or twice a year. No real reason to hate each other, just fell out of love.
Here's the aibu, whenever I see my mum she'll take the piss out of my dad to me, belittling him and it's making me really uncomfortable. She does it Infront of my child aswell which makes my child feel sad for her grandfather.
Would you call her out on it?

Also she decided to divorce, not my dad. She's moved on and has a partner who she's happy with and they've been together a while

If it were me I would ask her to stop doing it and point out how inappropriate her behaviour is in front of my child.

I would definitely call her out on this. Not only is it setting a bad example to the children, it's also extremely disrespectful and just wrong.

Yes I would call her out, each and every time, and iwould do it in front of my child so they know she is wrong

I would gently mention it. Maybe she left the relationship because she was badly treated, ignored or neglected? It can be upsetting to then watch your former dp behave a lot better towards a new dp. It might not be as straightforward as it seems.

Yes
You don't like it
She's setting a poor example to your child

Its simple "Mum, you need to stop talking about Dad like that. It's offensive & sets your grandchildren a poor example"

No, dad has remained single so no jealousy just seems to think he leads a "sad existence" and takes the piss out of him for it.

Just quietly remind her that you love your dad and please could she stop.

Thanks all, I've tried to subtly make it clear that I'm unhappy with it, but that's obviously not worked so need to be a bit more direct next time.

Absolutely call her out on it. My parents divorced almost 40 years ago and my mum still manages to bring it up nearly every time I see her. It's making me want to see her less & less, and I've told her this. Nip it in the bud, I wish I had sooner.

I had to sit both my parents down and tell them I do not want to hear them mention the other to me, do not want to hear them speak ill of the other person again especially with my kids anywhere near. They are still their grandparents and do not need to hear the others bitterness. It has taken years but finally they just dont mention the other. It is very pleasant now compared to years ago. Pull them up everytime. Its so hard to hear it constantly.

You need the really direct with her, I’d call her out about in front of the dc. It’s a very damaging thing her to do. Your dc are surely going to repeat her comments at some point?

Yes yes yes tell her to stop and save it for when only you and her (or not at all) if you don't snag do hear about it

Pls. do. If for your child - they absolutely pick up On and understand this stuff!!

Snag so =
Happen to

Yes. I always say I'm not interested in your opinion on my mum/dad. Please keep it to yourself. And change the subject

I'm not sure call her out is the right phrase as that implies you're making a judgement and telling her that her behaviour is wrong.

I think it's a bit different and completely fine to say 'look I get that you're not together any more and you've got your opinions on him, but he is my dad and I love him and I'm not comfortable hearing him being made fun of so please could you stop'. That's putting boundaries in place to protect your feelings

You should tell her not to speak in a derogatory way, in front of you and your children. However, I must admit, now in my 70s, that the older I get, the more disgusted I feel about the way my exhusband behaved, to me and my son's when we were married, and it is MN which has made me realise how abusive he was! Actually I don't need to speak about him as although he has a veneer of respectabilty, he is still the same selfish, unreliable arrogant prick as he ever was, and they see it for themselves.