Help first meeting with SENCO?

[Holdmycoat]

Hi, I have an appt with the school SENCO on Thursday about my son who may, or may not have mild autism. I'm alittle nervous as it was me who flagged it up, i just said i was going to the gp and to make them aware. The SENCO rang me and said it wasn't affecting his learning, had noticed acouple of things then suggested the face to face meeting. Does this mean they have some concerns too? Is there any questions I need to ask?

I'm a teacher. Don't worry about it. It's their job to support you. It's is known for autistic children to mask at school and then be different at home. They can support you in referrals etc. Just be honest about home life.

If he does have autism or even autistic traits its likely it is impacting his learning.
eg a dc is being investigated for autism.
dc dislikes physical touch - this means dc is anxious when in close proximity other students. Also dc finds subjects that are interpretive very challenging eg poetry. So sometimes it can be very subtle but impactful. But you probably need a report foe the full impact

Thank you @Mummy2C do you think if they've called me in they may suspect something too? I'm not sure what the usual protocol would be. I'd hate to waste her time.

The meeting will be for them to find out a bit about what your concerns on, any particular areas that your DC is having difficulty with, and ways they can monitor and support your DC.

I always found it helpful to write everything down ahead of meetings so I didn't forget anything, it would be worth making a list of your concerns and include examples if you. For example, "DC doesn't like transitions (e.g., frequently runs off when it's time to go into school).... DC masks at school and then emotionally collapses afterwards (e.g., has a breakdown in the yard at home time 2-3 times a week)".

Take a notebook to the meeting too and make notes of what concerns the SENCO has, any behaviours they've noticed, and details of what they say they're putting in place. After you get home from the meeting, follow up with an email saying something along the lines of "thank you for meeting with me today. I note that you have noticed xxxxx behaviour from DC and that you're going to put xxxxx in place to support this. Can we arrange to meet again in a few weeks time to see if this is helping?". This way you have a paper trail confirming action of what has been discussed (rule number one of SEND parenting - get everything in writing).

Be honest about the struggles you have at home, why you are concerned etc. SENCOs are truly supportive in my experience.

You can ask for your child to be added to the SEN register if they have difficulty in any of the four areas of need, these are:

Cognition & Learning
Communication & Interaction
Social, emotional & mental health difficulties
Sensory and/or physical needs

You don't need a diagnosis of anything to be on the SEN register, it is entirely based on education need. School may already want to add him, they may not, but if he has difficulties then he should be on there.

School will then need to monitor his ability and progress in them alongside specific support measures. This can help with the assessment process as it means there will already be relevant information available, waiting lists can be quite long too so it means your DC will be getting support in the meantime.

If there is to be an assessment the school will be asked to contribute to this , it is great they are being proactive and it may be they have noticed things and are pleased they can share their observations. They may have been trying to judge when best to raise it with you or they might just be keen to know what you are worried about and if they can help. It is positive, dont be worried about time wasting .

The SENCO probably wants to know what your concerns are and if you are going to ask the school to make any accommodations. They may also ask what you are hoping to gain from diagnosis- understanding your child and/or access to support.
Some SENCO’s are fantastic and really want to help, others act as gatekeepers to support and you really need to push them to get help.

I have to say our ALNCo (we're in Wales, so they're called that rather than SENCO) has been absolutely marvellous. And putting what we see at home as parents together with things noticed in school gives a fuller picture for us and the school.

It was us who contacted the school initially as well. First having a meeting with his teacher and then with the ALNCo - in our case they made the referral for assessment. I can't praise her highly enough tbh!

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted. I have found it very useful. I'm going to write everything I've noticed st home down, and also the things I feel ds needs support with at school.

@Iam4eels thank you for all of the great information, appreciated,. I'm really pleased you mentioned the masking thing. Ds definately does this at school on bad days, and then has an emotional melt down in the yard, or exhibits difficult behaviour on the way home. He has also said he doesn't like all of the noise at school (despite him making plenty of noise himself regularly). 🙄it is really helpful to know about the SEN register as this is all so new to me.

Thank you @Doingmybest12 you have helped to put my mind at ease. Exactly, you're right, and the SENCO seemed lovely on the phone and took it really seriously. She said his learning has been unaffected, but told me of a couple of things she had noticed with ds to do with losing things, slow at getting ready etc. Maybe she is building a picture and wanting to put it all together.

@Skiphopbump yes she seemed supportive on the phone and easy to talk to. She also said she knows the way the services work and she thought the gp was a waste of time, as they'll most likely just say to speak to school. She alluded to being able to make any necessary referrals etc, seemed really good.

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair yes that's exactly what she has alluded to regarding the referals. It's reaasuring to know you contacted the school initially too. I kept saying if there was something wrong surely they would have noticed, but I really think it has been missed. I wonder if they had noticed the small things, but maybe they just weren't enough to not be confused with other things

It sounds like your SENCO is on board if she's noticing issues with organisation, processing, motor skills, etc. A decent SENCO is worth their weight in gold and definitely smooths the whole process.

Another good shout might be the school nursing team. You can self-refer in most areas, they will be able to go into school and observe him and can then make necessary onward referrals to places like Occupational Therapy, SALT, etc depending on what they pick up on. They can also make recommendations to the SENCO about support packages that might help.

@Iam4eels That is a positive sign, you're right. Thank you for letting me know that it is worth contacting the school nurse. Appreciate all of the useful advice you've given, thank you for taking the time. I feel ds definately needs alittle support in a couple of areas, and some consideration of his sensitivities/emotions.

So I would write a list and ask have school noticed any different behaviours in

1. social and communication with teachers or peers?
2. sensory issues in class, eg is he able to sit at carpet time? work in his chair?
3. any restrictive or repetitive interests - is he able to work in all topics? Does he only play one type of game at lunchtime for example?

Ask how school whether are giving him any additional support and whether he needs additional help from a TA during the day.

Ask her about the process for ASD, don't be afraid to take notes. The SENCO will be taking them too and you could do with the information if you do proceed with an ASD diagnosis.

Thank you @FatEaredFuck your list is great, I've written those question down to ask. I especially like number 2 re: carpet time as often as see him wandering through the window!