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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at boyfriend planning something on the day we usually see eachother?

45 replies

WiU26 · 15/01/2023 16:01

My boyfriend and I see eachother every Monday, it’s on one set day a week that we are child free and not working. We do then see eachother 1/2 other days a week depending on when the children are with their other parent and work schedules. We don’t live together.
my partner has decided to go back to the gym, he wants to go twice a week and has said that he wants to go one a Monday. AIBU to be a bit peeved that he has chosen the one set day we have together? He says he will see me after but that’ll be 9pm so no time for dinner etc.
he is free the rest of the week by the way as the children are mine.

OP posts:

Tinkerbyebye · 15/01/2023 18:36

As others have said, he’s not that bothered about seeing you as his priority is the gym

9pm would be too late for me so i would be saying that and see where that goes

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 18:39

toobusytothink · 15/01/2023 18:36

So you have different children with different dads from the way you say he hasn’t got kids but talk about when they are with their other parent? And he has to fit around that schedule. Poor guy. Sounds difficult. But I would expect him to pick a different day if he was really into You. It sounds as though he is a bit fed up and is trying to assert his independence and not always be free whenever you call kinda thing …
can you not try to rearrange your childcare schedules so that there is a definite other day you are free?

If you are going to be anti-women, stick to the facts.

She said other parent. Singular. Nothing to suggest multiple dads but even if there were I'm not sure what is 'poor.guy' about that.

The rest of your post is nonsense. Their entire set up is tbe opposite of.free whenever they call. They have a set day and he can do as he likes for the rest of the week.

Why should she make another childcare free day just so the 'poor guy' can go then and not any of the other six days a week?

AllOfThemWitches · 15/01/2023 18:40

I would just go in the morning.

WinterFoxes · 15/01/2023 18:41

Seeing you after 9pm is a bit of a booty call. I would just make other plans for Monday nights. He can go to the gym any time.

Zanatdy · 15/01/2023 18:43

Yes if your time together is limited and that’s your one set day I would be upset. My bf (of 2 months so early days) has custody of his kids (mine are older so don’t need babysitters) so it’s not easy to get time together so I know I’d feel upset if he chose to go to the gym on a Monday when that’s one of a few days he see’s me. I’d let him know you’re upset, have a chat about it

Heyahun · 15/01/2023 18:49

having a relationship with someone who has a child isn’t for everyone though @findmybalance - he’s free to do what he likes with no responsibilities and the op isn’t

not sure why my comment is so awful tbh

Forthelast · 15/01/2023 19:13

I would be a bit hurt.

Forthelast · 15/01/2023 19:13

He definitely wouldn't be getting any action that day.

Forthelast · 15/01/2023 19:14

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 18:34

I cant understand how a forum of grown women couldnt possibly cope with seeing their partner who they presumably love on the same day each week as if this is such a huge awful thing to cope with. I mean really.

It's not that we couldn't cope, just that relationships are hard work and need prioritising. It's a two way commitment.

Forthelast · 15/01/2023 19:15

Daffodilis · 15/01/2023 16:31

He is backing away from you

Ouch.

harrassedmumto3 · 15/01/2023 19:16

I don't understand. Do you mean 9pm? If so, why can't he spend the day with you before the gym? Or afterwards, if you mean 9am?!

SchoolQuestionnaire · 15/01/2023 19:18

Roundabout78 · 15/01/2023 16:13

He’s showing you where his priorities lie, isn’t he?

This.

You are lot a priority. It’s up to you what you do with this information.

name985 · 15/01/2023 19:19

If it's 9am some of these replies are mental. So he could still be at yours in the morning!!!

Can't see what the problem is. Obvs if it's 9pm that's different.

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 15/01/2023 19:20

Sorry but he fits around your schedule so you need to give a bit and fit around his too.

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 15/01/2023 19:23

When you started dating did you make clear you were looking for a boyfriend who was free on Mondays

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 19:43

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 15/01/2023 19:20

Sorry but he fits around your schedule so you need to give a bit and fit around his too.

She does.

She is asking for one day a week. Hardly a lot. It would be worse if the day changed all the time.surely

CandleCandleCandle · 15/01/2023 19:47

Don’t whatever you do see him at 9pm, you’ll set a precedent for fitting in with his plans.

IncompleteSenten · 15/01/2023 19:51

So basically he wants to go from spending time with you to coming round for a shag after the gym?

If he can actually go any day of the week and he's choosing Mondays, that's a very clear message.

rothbury · 15/01/2023 19:53

I don’t understand either. If neither of you works Monday, why can’t you see him earlier, then he goes off to the gym and goes home?

Otherwise, yeah, it’s just a booty call.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/01/2023 19:55

IncompleteSenten · 15/01/2023 19:51

So basically he wants to go from spending time with you to coming round for a shag after the gym?

If he can actually go any day of the week and he's choosing Mondays, that's a very clear message.

This. Doesn't want to hang out, does want to get laid.

No ta.

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