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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Round the world trip

29 replies

Pleasebe2022 · 15/01/2023 15:02

I'm 48, poor health as just had major surgery to remove colon because of crohns. Really struggling with the recovery although theres a good chance I'll get a quality of life back.

Divorced after 20 years of marriage. Now with new man for 1 year whose wonderful.

Last year I managed holidays with me and the kids who are 6 and 9. We did a cruise, flew to lapland and a few bits round UK. All whilst I was on steroids.

I very much believe I wont be well enough when I retire to travel and go through a bucket list. So I dont want to wait. I work full time and am a high earner. Thebkids dad pays maintenance and does see them weekends.

I'm contemplating taking them out of school and doing a round the world trek for 3 or 6 months. Assuming my doctor signed it off. 9 year old daughter is dyslexia, not academic. Worries about everything and gets a lot of confidence from our travels. 6 year old is very bright but then hes only 6. They were both privately educated until mid 2022 where they moved to state school. Due to my health and ex husbands financial issues. Daughter loves state school. Son hates it.

So would I be unreasonable to take them out of school and just do it? Assuming I'm able and can fund it. They are both ahead at school so 3 months out shouldnt be an issue.

Because of my health I think my time is all about making memories with them and building their life skills which are not just academic. I have PTSD from my medical treatments and so can be a bit urgent in my actions but I think I'm realistic in that I've got max 10 years of being able to do this sort of trip.

OP posts:
walnutmarzipan · 15/01/2023 15:14

Do it. Life is short. Sounds amazing.

More people should do things like this IMO.

Life is not meant to be about slaving away at school, then higher education and then work - only to have a few weeks off in the summer if you're lucky.

gabsdot45 · 15/01/2023 15:27

I'd go for it, but you won't get all around the world in any kind of meaningful way in 3 months.
I suggest you pick a few countries and explore them well maybe include an interesting cruise which covers a variety of destinations.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/01/2023 15:35

I think you should put off any big decisions until you’ve got your feet underneath you from the surgery. Forgive if I’m making false assumptions, but it’s likely you’ve been not well with the crohns for a long time and you’re now recovering from the surgery. I think you’ll find that your quality of life + long term health prospects improve dramatically and relatively quickly.

TheHolyGrailSpeaks · 15/01/2023 15:41

I would say go away for the whole school summer hols, two or more years running and focus on a different part of the world each time (assuming you have no pets etc). Then they don’t have to miss any school and you get to spread the joy.

ClarasZoo · 15/01/2023 15:44

My kids state schools would take them off roll for that but if you don’t care about getting back in to the same schools go for it!

Getinajollymood · 15/01/2023 15:47

Honestly, private school to state school, out to travel, back again - it sounds very disruptive. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear. I’m not actually against a week or two out of school for a holiday but three months is a long time in a child’s life.

The thing about ‘making memories’ is that your children won’t remember it in the way you want them to. If you think about your own memories of when you were that age, would you remember the cultural aspects of different cities and countries?

I think travel is great and it’s lovely to do with children but I just don’t think you can or should cram it into a tiny part of their childhoods. I do believe children like stability above all else.

professionalnomad · 15/01/2023 16:46

I'm a teacher and plan to do this with my children when they're older (and hopefully I can afford it). There are great homeschooling options so they won't fall too far behind and it really will be an amazing life experience for them. Go for it.

DuringDuranDuran3 · 15/01/2023 17:03

You will never regret money spent on travelling, exploring & adventures (love travelling)

Have you checked how much travel insurance will be ?

There are loads of sales on currently for; flights, ferries, holidays, hotels

An alternative would be to buy or rent a camper van or a holiday home

Where are you planning to go ?

sunnydayhereandnow · 15/01/2023 17:37

I think in theory this sounds like a great idea, but in practice it will be very hard on you and your kids. Travelling is great, but constantly packing your bags for the next place is harsh and exhausting, and can be very overwhelming for kids: I travelled quite a lot of unusual places when I was young, and I sometimes found complete difference in culture, food, smells etc really overwhelming, as I didn't have the knowledge and tools to process it that adults do. Plus kids need stability and friends as well as adventures and making memories, and everyone wants home cooked food after weeks of eating unfamiliar food out. Instead of just heading out for three months, I'd make a list of the must-do/must see things for you then break it up into smaller segments. Figure out which countries you want to just see briefly, and where you might want to stay for a different kind of trip. Which places might it be better for you to go alone without the kids?

Bard6817 · 15/01/2023 17:41

How are they going to be educated? If they miss 3 or 6 months, they will be left behind.

How does home schooling count - take them for a year and really make a memrory of it.

Heyahun · 15/01/2023 17:51

I’d go for a year!!! School is not a reason to not go they can catch up and return to that later

my daughter has been all over the world with us and she doesn’t seem to struggle with the moving around every few days and living out of bags -

I think your children will enjoy the excitement !

go for it :)

UsingChangeofName · 15/01/2023 18:02

I agree with @TheHolyGrailSpeaks
Why not set off somewhere at the beginning of July for a couple of months and be back for the start of the school year, then choose somewhere else to travel to the next year. That way they won't miss much and they won't lose their school place, but you still get to travel with them.

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 15/01/2023 18:05

At their ages a few months out of school is unlikely to matter, but I'm not sure how trekking would work with young children.

Scienceadvisory · 15/01/2023 18:09

Heyahun · 15/01/2023 17:51

I’d go for a year!!! School is not a reason to not go they can catch up and return to that later

my daughter has been all over the world with us and she doesn’t seem to struggle with the moving around every few days and living out of bags -

I think your children will enjoy the excitement !

go for it :)

And what about their dad and the children's relationship with him if they are gone for a year?

Heyahun · 15/01/2023 18:24

@Scienceadvisory thats up to the op and the kids dad to work out I guess see what’s feasible

CandleCandleCandle · 15/01/2023 18:30

I love to travel but would worry about getting the DC back into a good school after the extended trip.

helloimnew123 · 15/01/2023 19:28

MN isn't the place to ask this.... not exactly an adventurous audience

We took our baby around the world for 3 months when they were 4 months old. People called us crazy/ dangerous/ irresponsible etc. but now those same people are saying they want to do the same.

You only get one life. If you can afford it and your kids will enjoy it- do it.

sunnydayhereandnow · 15/01/2023 20:21

"not exactly an adventurous audience"... haha, well, speak for yourself. I've ridden on the back of motorbikes in Uganda, travelled solo to a Lebanese rock concert in Jordan, gone to school for a couple of weeks in the Solomon Islands at age 16, walked up a mountain in Morocco, performed in a concert in Hong Kong, accidentally got a private individual tour of Nasser's art collection at the national library in Egypt, eaten dried fish in Reykjavik, dodged quite a lot of tear gas in the West Bank, never been on a package trip and eventually settled to live and work thousands of miles from where I grew up, and regularly use two or three languages that I didn't grow up speaking.

All of those have been important experiences, but I personally would find 3 months on the go hard work, and somewhat doubt whether a 3-month world tour with school aged kids is the most effective way to share adventurous travel experiences with kids. Most of my meaningful experiences have been when I've been able to stay for longer somewhere, and many of them have involved traveling alone in ways that just aren't practical with young kids. Going abroad for a year with somewhere as a base is a great idea, and your kids can make lifelong friends from all over the place if they attend an international school. If you can't do that, my personal preference would be to divide the world into chunks and do a few trips, some with kids and some without.

TwilightIndoors · 15/01/2023 20:49

Go interailing for the school holidays

See how that goes, then start planning your next trip ?

CandleCandleCandle · 15/01/2023 20:51

Not adventurous, that’s a good one, I won’t list out where I’ve taken my DC as didn’t want to be a show off but I wouldn’t prioritise trips over schooling.

PollyPut · 15/01/2023 21:34

What is your secondary school plan? Will the oldest do 11+? If so when? In 2023 or 2024? If you take them away you need to make sure you have an acheivable plan of timing - presumably you need to be in the country to be eligible to apply too?

100thname · 15/01/2023 21:43

Not unreasonable, but agree with the previous poster that kids don’t always remember what you want them to. If you do it, you need to take lots and lots of photos and keep going through the albums with them talking about what you did and encouraging them to remember and tell you. This will maximise the memories they retain into adulthood.

I went to Australia aged 6. I don’t remember the kangaroos or Sydney opera house but I vividly remember the child I met and played with in the lounge at the airport. Her name was Marie, she was a year younger than me and her family had four dogs…

CandleCandleCandle · 15/01/2023 22:13

I went to Australia aged 6. I don’t remember the kangaroos or Sydney opera house but I vividly remember the child I met and played with in the lounge at the airport. Her name was Marie, she was a year younger than me and her family had four dogs…
We went on a trip of a lifetime for my 40th and my now grown up DS still talks about all the ants he saw on some rocks.
I asked my DC what their favourite holiday was, bearing in mind we’ve taken them abroad about 50 times and they both said the time they went to Center Parcs with all their cousins.

Original poster
Pleasebe2022 · 15/01/2023 22:22

Some really interesting replies. Thanks everyone. When I take mine on holiday they always say the best bit was something trivial. We went on a cruise last summer and the best bit was holiday club!

I should have been clearer before that I meant a 3 month round the world cruise. I dont like flying and I've always wanted a round the world cruise. I had the kids late (due to 5 years of IVF because of ex husbands fertility problems). By the time the youngest is 18 I'll be 60 and I dont think I'll be well enough to do it then.

I travelled when I was younger and have friends in New Zealandand Oz we could see but that would mean a long flight without the cruise.

Are your thoughts different if it's just a 3 month cruise?

OP posts:
SweetSakura · 15/01/2023 22:26

Would your ex be agreeable to this? That would be the biggest hurdle for me! (I don't even take mine out of school for the day as my ex is so quick to criticize)

Otherwise, as someone dealing with serious health issues too, I don't think YABU. Life is to be lived, not put off for another year.

You could perhaps look at online tutors so they keep up with core lessons?

In the alternative, what about lots of shorter trips?