Have you ever heard of a tragedy and hoped someone who wronged you died in it ?

[deepe]

This is so deep and horrible and I can't believe I'm writing it.

A man really really wronged me in my past. Like complete humiliation, publicly. Completely abused my trust and filmed me secretly etc etc.

I was never able to get retribution for any of it, as he was very very clever.

It's been many years now since all this happened. But I really wish he died. I don't want to do anything to cause it or anything like that, but every time I hear something terrible has happened and people have died, I think about him and hope he was somehow there and he died.

Other people have been nasty to me in my past, but I never wish badly on them. But what he did and what he got away with really makes me think I would not be sad one bit if he died and would actually enjoy it if I heard he was unwell and or died.

That's not normal is it ? It's also not healthy. I've had therapy for what happened, but when these feelings resurface, I really think back to him and the situation and how I wish he was just gone. Again, I would never ever do anything to cause it or anything like that.

Only once, in my 20s I lived in a tower block. On the whole people got on, one of my neighbour's got together with a drug addict from the next block. Prior to that she had a copy of my key for emergencies. He let himself in and stole from me. He admitted it, called me a mug.

When I threatened to call the Police he said said he would call my work and tell them he supplied me with drugs. He also said he would tell the Police my neighbour gave him the key and told him where everything was. My neighbour was a single parent and I couldn't do that to her child. I changed the locks and cut my neighbour off saying as long as she was with him we couldn't be friends.

He would scream abuse at me in the street. Spit on the floor as I passed. He put leaflets on cars that another was a prostitute with her number. She did call the Police. He was questioned and released and he tried to kick her door in.

When I heard he had a heart via an overdose. I remember hoping he would die. Unfortunately he didn't but I moved away not long afterwards.

No but I have wished someone dead and they died.

Ah I'm glad I'm not the only one ! It's literally an emotion I've not felt for anyone and I only really completely realised today how strong it is. I guess it means I'm not really over it probably.

My ex has done awful things to me. Betrayal like you wouldn't believe. He could have cost me my career my business my home and probably my family had any of been the truth.

I wish he would die painfully and slowly. And I make no apologies for feeling that. He is pure evil

I have written about it before on here, but I used to wish my exH would die, (neatly and painlessly) when I was trapped in marriage with him. However, now that we have been divorced for 17 years, I can't even be bothered to hate him any more.
I must be super weird because I have wished the neat and painless fate on a vile drug dealing alcoholic neighbour too in the past.

Been divorced from a man who raped me, our cao took 4 years and left me with anorexia and ptsd... I always hoped he would die alone, not one of those hospital patients with loads of weeping visitors..
He did indeed drop dead at home.
The immense sense of relief astounded me.

That's not normal is it ? It's also not healthy.

Perfectly normal. And I don’t see why the feeling should be unhealthy. Human beings have to have some urge to self preservation. Nations go to war, families quarrel, individuals who can’t arrange the retribution they want, seethe in silence, imagining the painful death of their enemy.

Why would you think the correct, human reaction would be to shrug off the wrong? What would that make you?

Yes there is one man who every time there is a crash locally when they say the age of the victim part of me hopes it’s his age so it might be him.

I generally don't hate anyway, I'm very much a fixer and pacifist. I'm never violent or aggressive. But during one of My SEN kids appeals I wished the LA tribunal rep dead. I fantasised about being on a country road where I could never possibly be caught. I'd run him over at full speed and then slowly reverse over him. Forgive and forget is degrading for my child and his actions. It was years ago. But if I could click my fingers and he was struck by lightning this second?, yes he's dead. I have killed him in million times in my head. I feel no guilt

1. he was a sadist. Showed no emotion and stopped at nothing to be evil beyound the weight of my case and his job. He got pleasure from it. I honestly belive he wanted to physically asult me snd my child. He scared me more than anyone alive has scared me.

2. It's never going to really happen is it? So where's the harm? No one came read my mind, i will never harm him in any form? I'm not a Saint. I dislike some people. Him more so

When covid started I got quite excited that someone i unfortunately know might die. He's a fat and middle aged smoker so my hopes were high but sadly he's still with us.

There was a high profile crime a few years ago where the victim looked exactly like a stranger who once wronged me in a public place. I didn't particularly hope it was the same person but I've often wondered if it was. The location and some of the circumstances fitted.

I get your point for sure. I just think it's so wrong to wish that on someone. It's immoral to me. But I do wish it. I find it difficult to deal with hating someone that much. It's new to me. I dislike people. But to wish death on anyone is so strong to me. But you're right, it's just human.

YANBU. I think it's perfectly normal to wish serious harm or death on someone who has greatly wronged you. Even if you also feel a bit of guilt for that thought.
It might be taboo to admit or discuss it in 'polite society', but I'm pretty sure more people have thought this than will admit.

No. Because they'd then end up like Princess Diana, Martyred and no one could say anything wrong about them, even if everyone had hated them before they died.

I would far rather they were found to have caused the tragedy and had to live with the consequences.

I get this completely. The ex who raped me lives in Northampton. Wife and two kids now, who clearly know nothing about how evil he is and wouldn't believe me if I said anything. Every time I hear about an incident happening where he is I hope it involves him. I'm not sorry and I will continue to hope for it.

Not personally OP but I imagine you are thinking/hoping this in the hope that if he dies so will your trauma
I would mentally imagine him as a tiny person no bigger that a mouse every time he pops into your head

You are the bigger person - you survived him

Hugs to you for your recovery

I guess if he dies, so does the possibility of him trashing me / showing people whatever disgusting stuff he has of me that I wasn't aware of. It's still a worry that there's weird pics of me and videos that I was never aware were being taken etc.

God yes.

there’s actually a small group of people that I wish would just fall off the face of the earth.

I did have a fleeting thought recently where something had happened in town where someone horrible lives.
The thought popped in that it would solve a lot of issues (for others I know) if this person was caught up in it.

Obviously I caught the thought and realized how awful that was.
It's ok and normal to have these thoughts. I guess where it's an issue is when this is more than fleeting.

Yep, I dream of this most days.

I don't think I've ever wished someone dead but I have wished for karma. It feels very unfair when someone who is a bad person leads a charmed life.

I distinctly remember a lad from Uni who was known for having a real issue respecting women's boundaries. He took advantage of women who were drunk and Definitely gave me 'rapey' vibes. He's very visible on LinkedIn and and pisses me off no end that he has a highly successful career and is probably raking in money.

When covid started I did think a couple of times that I hoped ds old nursery manager got it and died. She had tried to ruin my life though and deserved to be thought of that way

I think it's a perfectly natural reaction to have.
I worked for someone who was completely vile, a bully, sexist, homophobic, made fun of people's disabilities (mine included). He ruined people's lives.
Maybe it makes me a bad person, but when I found out he and his wife (who was a real bitch herself) couldn't have children, my first thought wasn't sympathy, rather thank fuck he can't breed.
I discovered recently that he'd died of a massive heart attack in his late fifties. While I didn't rejoice, seeing as this was someone who stated that only weak people get sick, I did find a certain irony in his premature death.

Same here....well sort of - bloke was really rude to me once and really humiliated me at work- l thought fuck you you fucking prick hope something horrible happens to you.
Next day got told his wife had died when they had got home that nt.
She was lovely.