Autism & school based anxiety: Aibu to feel upset and ask questions at this point?

[RobynsMother]

Darling daughter has autism and school based anxiety and is in Y6. She has been out of the classroom for 3 months, following some episode which occurred while the TA wasn’t there. Daughter has an EHCP and full time assistant who has been amazing at coaxing her into school. DD has been working with the TA away from the classroom. I feel that the class teacher, Mrs X, has relinquished responsibility and hasn’t been instrumental in getting DD back into classroom. I haven’t heard anything from her and had to make an appointment to get her to speak to me once. DD is missing interaction with other students while she continues out of the classroom.

This is an emotional subject for me. I want to continue to build relationships with school (I have worked hard at this) but at the same time, I am thinking questions need to be asked at this point. Like what is Mrs X doing to get her back in and interacting with other children?

I don’t even feel I know the questions to ask.

I think you're right that there should be some plan for easing her back into the classroom - eg starting with some small group work out of the classroom with the TA, or joining the class for short times (perhaps for something very defined so she knows what she's going into). If she's moving school in September she really needs to be comfortable enough with working in the classroom that she's going to be able to cope with that in a new school.

You might also check that she is getting some teacher input - eg is the teacher marking her work and aware of how she is progressing? Her TA may be fantastic, but the responsibility lies with the teacher.

Thanks @lanthanum that clarifies a few things for me. Nothing along these lines seems to be happening. All I have is the TA’s word that she is keeping up. Should I make an appointment with the head at this point? The whole thing about being out of the classroom has been going on for 3 calendar months. If I was there, I would have had him back in the room if even for five minutes.

Ask for a meeting with the teacher to ask what the teacher’s plan is for reintegrating her back into the class and what yoh can do to support it.

Is she moving schools for year 7? If so it’s even more important to get her back with a group (and also more likely perhaps that the teacher has year end in sight already and is hoping she can just leave her with the TA until she leaves).

@Thesonglastslonger yes year 6 end is in sight and a move to high school is necessary. I think the teacher doesn’t give a monkeys.

I have had one meeting with teacher. Teacher is young and I don’t think there was anything substantial in our chat besides “yes we would all like to see her back in the classroom”.

Might be different in England but in Scotland it wouldn’t be the class teacher’s responsibility to create a plan etc. They would certainly facilitate it and be involved in the process (as would the child and their parent/cater) but it would be lead by Head of Pupil/Learning Support and either a member of Senior Management (eg Depute Head) or Pastoral Care. I think I’d be contacting the school and asking for a meeting with someone at a more senior level to discuss next steps. Unless it works very differently in England!

I feel like that teacher is probably busy with SATS and not concentrating on one child who doesn’t come into the classroom.

If the teacher is young it’s possible she doesn’t have the expertise or skills to deal with this situation. If you try and start from that POV - that no one is setting out to do a bad job on purpose, but rather, we’re all only capable of what we’re capable of, you might find the situation less frustrating.

School avoidance is a very tricky issue to tackle, and what works for one student can be the worst thing for another.

As someone who knows your daughter better than anyone else, can you come up with a list of what the school/teacher can do to help, and ask them to implement it?

I do believe we can only do what we can do but also feel teams can pull together and make more of an effort if things are escalated. I feel it’s about time more things happened. I don’t know what those things are, but surely some new strategies need implemented.

If the teacher is young, they probably have little experience to draw on, and yes, SATs are probably their biggest concern. A meeting with the SENCo (and maybe the TA) might be the way forward - between you you might be able to come up with some workable strategies that the SENCo can ask the teacher to implement.

You said there was something that triggered this. If there's a particular problem with being in that class, another possible staging post is to get her in and working with another class, even if it's year 5. Curriculum is a secondary issue here - the priority has to be the social/interaction aspect.

Those are very good points, @lanthanum - thank you!

A young teacher with a SATs class is unlikely to have the skills of a more experienced teacher when responding to emotional based school avoidance, especially if they're in a position where senior leadership are on their case about the SATs results, which they probably are.

I'd not expect the class teacher to be driving the reintegration to be honest. I'd expect the SENCo to be leading the provision and reviewing it with the relevant staff and you as her parent. Does your DD have any therapeutic interventions or any curriculum adaptations that might support her holistically to make the transition back to class?
What strikes me is that a great TA is a wonderful thing, but they aren't teachers and shouldn't be relied to be one, which it sounds this TA is.

Thanks everyone! @LolaSmiles I actually don’t know what they are doing to get DD back in. I know they are making adjustments to get DD in the door of school but I would want DD in the classroom and might convene a meeting to catch up this term.