I think we need to split

[Jessmumto2]

Bit of background. Been with my partner 7 yrs, we live together. I have 2 from previous relationship. Age 12 and 8 when we first got together it was amazing and prob for the first 3 years fantastic with the kids etc. When I met him he was in a bit of a rut living at home with parents I'm 37 and he is 12 years older. Since he left a job years ago he now only does a bit of cash in hand work but he does all the school runs. I have said he needs to get a new job for his self esteem not just money. He has no friends, he never wants to go out and if he does we go pub wen we having got kids he won't do anything else. I work full time, home by 4 tho. He does all the house work not because I don't want to but he is ocd. If I do anything he is behind me correcting it like making the bed etc. I go to do something amd it's leave it ill do it to the point I feel like if I do anything I'll just get moaned at. I feel more relaxed when he not here. We don't talk I try making convo asking how his parents are I get one word answer and that's it. Won't watch films he don't do films, literally feels like he just existing. Never know what mood he is going to be in. Won't come to family events says he working but I know it will be quick job then he sat at home. I tell him to not treat me like a child I get don't act like one and I won't treat u like one. He has actually said he is trying to teach me things (housework wise) and said when his parents taught him things he was never rude to them etc.his ocd is that bad I don't feel like I can have Imy family over. I have a big family and he only has his elderly parents and one sister i've said I don't need a parent I need a partner. I feel like if I stay with him I'm going to be missing out on doing normal things that couples should do. We never laugh together. I. Childish apparently cos I haven't been talking to him but I'm drained from arguing so I just don't say anything.
Am I being ungrateful or am I right to be feeling like I shouldn't be with him.
There's so much more that isn't right but alot to get down.

Wow, I read this and found it completely relatable! My other half is actually closer in age to me, but very similar in traits. Literally discussed splitting up this evening due to behaviour. He’s long term depressed and I know that’s the root of it and I really feel for him, but it gets very tiring when there’s no lightness in the relationship and the only thing they can think to say to you is something like ‘did you put all that laundry away earlier?’
I think when their world has been much smaller and more controlled, they focus on the minute details of life and it can be a drag. If he’s genuinely ocd then his mental health is likely poor and that’s a very tough gig to sit through.
At the end of the day, you have to think about how happy you are. Relationships are meant to feel fulfilling and happy (most of the time) and if you can’t be yourself without criticism, it’s likely not a good match. You’re not here to be ‘grateful’ you’re here to be happy and so if you’re not, you’re not! If you wish to end the relationship on this basis, then it’s up to you, there’s nothing wrong in that.