To be annoyed at friends mum?

lovelilies · 14/01/2023 18:18

I leave my 9 year old but wouldn't assume someone else would be ok with it so I'd ask before leaving someone else's.

Not something to stress about really though

pinneddownbytabbies · 14/01/2023 18:22

No, that's really poor of her, and I would have been cross too.

What was so important that the mum had to go out and leave the children on their own - any idea?

Eastereggsboxedupready · 14/01/2023 18:36

Ime trust your gut. Dd used to get invited for sleepovers at 12..turned out dd's friend's dps were going out and leaving them with 2 babies!!
Few months later the sleepover included alcohol.. Dd rang me to go pick her up.
Her mates dumped her..
Better than an awful accident.

Original poster

Spename84 · 14/01/2023 18:36

pinneddownbytabbies · 14/01/2023 18:22

No, that's really poor of her, and I would have been cross too.

What was so important that the mum had to go out and leave the children on their own - any idea?

She took her younger child to a birthday party.

OP posts:

FedUpWithEverything123 · 14/01/2023 18:41

I would be absolutely furious OP!! I would tell her that's totally not on.
And I don't think I'd ever trust her judgment again

StubbleAndSqueak · 14/01/2023 18:41

I'd expect to be told too. My DD may have been uncomfortable with that

Original poster

Spename84 · 14/01/2023 18:43

lovelilies · 14/01/2023 18:18

I leave my 9 year old but wouldn't assume someone else would be ok with it so I'd ask before leaving someone else's.

Not something to stress about really though

I leave my 9 year for small amounts of time if I need to quickly pop to the shop or pick up her sister. I’m not ready to leave her for hours yet though as she doesn’t have a phone or anything to get in touch.

OP posts:

Happin · 14/01/2023 18:46

It's unacceptable, she should have asked was it OK with you.

findmybalance · 14/01/2023 18:47

Spename84 · 14/01/2023 18:36

She took her younger child to a birthday party.

Show quote history

What??? No. Absolutely not on.

NeedToChangeName · 14/01/2023 18:47

I think 9 is too young for any child to be left alone, but I realise that's not what you asked

Friends mum was VU to assume you'd be ok with that. I probably wouldn't say anything to her, but I would tell DD that I wouldn't allow another playdate there, and would explain why (and wouldn't mind if the mum became aware of the reason)

Moonriver79 · 14/01/2023 18:48

This is really awful, you have every right to be angry

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/01/2023 18:48

I wouldnt be happy. One 9 year old in their own house I think ok, they know what they're allowed to do etc. 2 kids that age can egg each other on to get up to all sorts even if they are normally sensible

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/01/2023 18:49

And I cant be the only parent who is a bit more cautious with other peoples kids and wonders if they are allowed something before I agree to it, when I'm looking after them

Lj8893 · 14/01/2023 18:53

I wouldn’t be happy with that.

although there’s a few posters here who do leave their 9 year olds alone for short periods and I don’t leave my 9yo so maybe I’m over protective?

Moonriver79 · 14/01/2023 18:55

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/01/2023 18:49

And I cant be the only parent who is a bit more cautious with other peoples kids and wonders if they are allowed something before I agree to it, when I'm looking after them

You are not the only person I assure you. I check everything with parents first and I certainly wouldn’t leave another persons child on their own

Moonriver79 · 14/01/2023 18:56

Lj8893 · 14/01/2023 18:53

I wouldn’t be happy with that.

although there’s a few posters here who do leave their 9 year olds alone for short periods and I don’t leave my 9yo so maybe I’m over protective?

You are not overprotective, you are just being a good parent. 9 is too young to be left alone

Gemmanorthdevon · 14/01/2023 19:27

Eastereggsboxedupready · 14/01/2023 18:36

Ime trust your gut. Dd used to get invited for sleepovers at 12..turned out dd's friend's dps were going out and leaving them with 2 babies!!
Few months later the sleepover included alcohol.. Dd rang me to go pick her up.
Her mates dumped her..
Better than an awful accident.

I'm really quite blown away at the balls and trust in you she must of had, to find it in herself to do that at such a sensitive age. And accept the consequences from her " friends" for doing so. You must be so proud of her.

Bellaboo01 · 14/01/2023 19:43

Spename84 · 14/01/2023 18:08

My 9 year old was at her friends while I was out and the mum was ok with her staying and I said what time I’d be home. When I got home I messaged to say I was home and my daughter came home (they just live one block over) and it turned out the friends mum had gone out 45 minutes before I got home and my daughter and her 10 year old were in the house alone. It’s really annoyed me as the mum shouldn’t have just gone out (and it is 2 hrs later and she’s still not back!) they are 9 and 10 years old. I mean is it just me or is that way to young to be in the house alone?? And especially when it’s other people’s children there too. She did not check with me if it’s ok to leave my daughter.

Did you specifically ask her and arrange that she was looking after your daughter whilst you were out? If so i would 100 per cent say to her.

Cellotapedispenser · 14/01/2023 19:53

I wouldn't let my child go there again til they were 11 or 12. Appreciate some people are happy to leave their children alone at 7 or 8 but they shouldn't assume that's your boundary as well.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/01/2023 20:00

Yanbu because I also wouldn’t leave a 9 yo by themselves. My Ds will be 9 next month and I even hesitate about leaving him with 14 yo dd for more than a few mins.

I do think it might have been a case of crossed wires though - you were asking her to look after your dd, whereas she might have thought you were just asking if ok for her to be at their house. She probably thought “oh she’s ok leaving them so I’m ok with it too”

ComfortablyDazed · 14/01/2023 20:08

No, it’s not OK at that age just to assume the other parent will be OK with it.

DC2 is 12, and even at her age, if I need to pop out when she had a friend here, I’d only do it a). with friends where I know their Mums would be OK with it, AND b). I’d still mention it to the Mums.

Really poor behaviour from the other Mum.