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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this the age we start to look old-er…?

36 replies

Bigchocolatemilkshakes · 14/01/2023 16:10

44/45?

Turned 45 not long ago and almost immediately have more grey hairs, at the stage where I have to dye it now…had the odd silver straggler I’d yank out before.,but this is visible now. Started with strong lines around my eyes around 39, they’re still the same, but I just don’t look great, not really any extra lines yet, but puffy under eyes and just not the same?
Looking at Instagram photos of friends of the same age recently (very attractive friends who were stunning when younger) but thinking ‘Gosh, she looks older’ then realising the same must be thought about me…😫
Is this the age it sort of hits? Whhhyyyy

OP posts:

Anjelika · 14/01/2023 17:15

Want2beme · 14/01/2023 16:18

I think that about people who are the same age as me, mod 50s, and then I realise that I look exactly the same or older

I started to age noticeably a couple of years ago. In my 40s I didn't age drastically, but the aging process is now in turbo charge for me!

This is me too. Looked OK when I was 45 but once I turned 50 it was altogether a different matter. The area round my eyes is the worst. I would love to get tear trough fillers.

Fairislefandango · 14/01/2023 17:16

There's not one age where everyone starts to look older. Everyone gradually looks older all the time from when they are born to when they die! I think people do have little aging spurts though, where they speed up a bit in terms of their looks aging, but it's at different times for different people.

Octomingo · 14/01/2023 17:16

Always used sunscreen. Never smoked or used sunbeds. Always taken makeup off and moisturised.
Am more deeply lined than those who neglected the above. I am very, very fair though and I don't have any extra weight. It pisses me off. I was waiting for the high school sunbed queens to get older quicker, as recompense for having the piss taken out of my pale skin.

BookwormButNoTime · 14/01/2023 17:26

Oestrogen levels start to drop in your mid 40s as you approach peri menopause. It has a huge impact on your skin

Stockcleandemon · 14/01/2023 17:32

Yes I think so , it was for me , that was the age that peri kicked in which I think has a huge impact . I’m 50 now and the best advice I can give you is to cut the alcohol , drink plenty of water and get enough sleep .. also keep your hair well cut

saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/01/2023 17:32

Yup! I oscillate between holy hell when did I get old and damn I look pretty good for my age (47).

My neck is where I notice it the most. And if I didn’t dye my brows or use a tinted brow gel that would be a dead giveaway. I have gone from dying my hair every i weeks in my 30’s to every 4 now. Some face lines, but not too many. Luckily I have started with the middle aged acne to give me that youthful appearance 🥴

The biggest indicator is noting that the FB pics of your school friends that you don’t see in person often start startling you when you notice how old they look. Spoiler Alert: you look just as old to them 🤣

I really only have 2 concerns about looking older.

Timing my transition to gray hair. I’m not ready yet, but at a certain point it will look ridiculous.
Coordinating my physical aging appearance with my DH. We’ve discussed (clearly in a lighthearted manner) that neither of us wants to get too far away from each other in terms of age appearance. You’ve seen the couples where the husband looks a lot younger than wife and it makes her look like a granny with a boy toy. Or an older looking Husband with a young looking wife that you assume he married the nanny. 😂

saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/01/2023 17:33

Every 8 weeks on the hair dye

Purpleavocado · 14/01/2023 17:41

45 normally peri kicks in and the estrogen glow starts to glow. I started HRT at 50 and that helped, sunscreen, tret. Reassess hair and makeup, if you haven't changed it in years, it might need an update. Same with clothes. I'm not trying to look younger, but as good as I can for my age.

Iamnotausername · 14/01/2023 17:55

I started looking old overnight at aged 42. 🤣

FancyFran · 11/06/2023 05:55

57, beauty industry executive.
No facial wrinkles but my body is ruined. I have an autoimmune disease and I was treated with steroids 20 years ago. My weight has never really gone down again.
Top tip for a youthful face? Sunscreen in everything, don't smoke ever and try to give up regular drinking.
I can knock ten years off easily. I don't have any cosmetic procedures and I eat a lot of fish and fruit/veg.
However age is a privalge if we think of those who passed too early.
Buy a bright lipstick and be grateful for what you have.

SpongeBob2022 · 11/06/2023 07:54

I'm 41 and have recently started feeling this way. Mostly due to grey hairs appearing although I actually feel lucky to have lasted this long with that. I don't have wrinkles really but feel like my face is just loose somehow!

Looking at my friends I'd say the same about them to be honest. 40 not 45. This despite the fact that we all look pretty good for our age and probably look younger than we actually are. But the signs are most definitely there.

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