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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not choose my local maternity hospital?

9 replies

Frey86 · 14/01/2023 13:02

So when I had ds we lived 5 minutes from a really lovely maternity department so it was an easy choice. The birth was traumatic but the care was amazing and I felt in such safe hands all the way through. We moved further out after he was born and have a good hospital nearby, but when I got pregnant again I still felt really attached to our first hospital and that the experience of the care had been so good I didn't want to change things. Felt like home and just generally wanted to be back in the same place. (I also wanted a chance to walk out the doors not traumatised but haven't achieved this yet!)

I was worried about putting extra strain on the hospital or taking up valuable resources, as I don't really know how the system works, so I called and spoke with a midwife to ask about this and whether it's frowned upon etc. She said don't worry at all, lots of women are out of area, and encouraged to do my self referral form.

I have since had several miscarriages there (again, can't fault them they cared for me so well) and just had my booking appointment with current pregnancy.

The midwife at this last appointment was really mardy, made it clear she did not care at all about my miscarriages and said something about being "so busy, everybody wants to come here I don't know why..." just before I left. This confirmed my fears about putting undue pressure on them and not really having a right to be there.

I'd just really like some honest opinions about what people think of someone choosing a hospital outside their local area. We now live 45mins - 1hour away (And I've already had complications so am WELL aware of how inconvenient this is for me but am fine with that).

I love the NHS and have no interest in taking the p*ss, I'm just finding it really hard to work out if I am or not. It's early days so I still have time to transfer if it seems like the right thing to do.

God this turned out to be long, sorry

OP posts:
TheGlitterFairy · 14/01/2023 13:07

I chose a hospital based on my consultants recommendation as it has a NICU; that was about 45 mins to me and really didn’t give it a second thought. Definitely wasn’t the closest to me. No one questioned it and it was definitely the best decision as we ended up needing the NICU as DS was born early unexpectedly.

Opt for where you feel most comfortable and can get to for appts.

DuplicateUserName · 14/01/2023 13:10

If they allow it then they allow it.

Don't worry about the thoughts of one mardy woman.

JadeTC · 14/01/2023 13:21

You can choose to have your care there and it sounds like the care has generally been excellent so I would go for it.

JadeTC · 14/01/2023 13:22

And congratulations, I hope all goes well for you in this pregnancy ✨

Frey86 · 14/01/2023 13:38

Thanks guys this is reassuring!

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Frey86 · 14/01/2023 13:39

JadeTC · 14/01/2023 13:22

And congratulations, I hope all goes well for you in this pregnancy ✨

Thank you! 💖

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Newuser82 · 14/01/2023 13:44

I had my second son at a hospital out of my area. This was through choice and it wasn't a problem at all. Good luck with whatever you decide.

InsomniacVampire · 14/01/2023 13:54

I chose a hospital I knew had AMAZING care when there is trouble. The facilities were ot as amazing as two local hospitals with brand new maternity units, but I wanted to have access to great staff if sh!t hit the fan (which sadly, it did, a very difficult birth). I could see my local hospital from my window and would be mroe convenient for appointments, but I picked one further away and never regretted, the care we got was second to none.

Frey86 · 14/01/2023 19:09

Thanks so much for your replies.
@InsomniacVampire thinking about it this is how I would describe my choice. Thank you for reminding me.
@InsomniacVampire @TheGlitterFairy I'm sorry about the difficult births, I'm glad you got the care you and babies needed

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