AIBU for wanting DH to check his blood sugar level

[AWholeNewWorls]

Been married to DH for 3 years. DH is 42, 6ft a little on the chubby side (waist size is 36" if that means anything) and of South Asian heritage - I mention these stats because it puts him in the risk category for diabetes. His dad also had diabetes from his late 30s. DH's diet is very carb heavy (pasta mostly, jacket potatoes etc) and inactive, he doesn't gym and his only walking is going to work/socialising/ shopping etc and his favourite hobby is the TV ie. Quite sedentary. He is generally quite sluggish or not enthusiastic about doing anything too active.

I would like DH to check his blood sugar level but he's very scared of needles. For example, whenever there's covid vaccine news on TV, he winces at the sight of needles. He point blank refuses to check his sugar level, but said he will be healthier and so it shouldn't be a problem whether he checks it or not. He said growing up, because of his dad, their house operated like they were all diabetic ie. no sugar, they were still having lots of white rice and pasta though which also increases sugar levels. and he will just go back to doing that.

I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant with gestational diabetes. I've changed how I eat drastically, much smaller portions of pasta, potatoes, and meals look totally different. DH generally eats the same as me but bigger portions of pasta/potatoes. And will still have dessert. I check my sugar a few times everyday and just want to see what his is like after a carb heavy meal. It's something I've always worried about with him because he is 9 years older than me, and I just want our future DC to have a healthy dad.

I appreciate his phobia of needles is bad, and I probably didn't help when I first started checking my own sugar and said it was painful, but really it's not that bad now I'm a bit used to it. AIBU in asking him to check his blood sugar levels?

PS. I just want advice on the blood sugar levels and don't wait to derail the subject and would appreciate no judgement on his lifestyle. He is going through a bit of a rough patch with losing his job a year ago (he's trying v hard to find something similar to his old job but no luck so is working on half the salary he's used to in a temp role) and so I'm being sympathetic. Many thanks.

I think it's reasonable that you're concerned and want to know, but it's also not unreasonable for him to refuse on the basis of being scared of needles.

Can sugar in urine be tested? Is that a thing? As maybe that would be something to Investigate.

As an aside, I know you don't want lifestyle commentary, but I hear having apple cider vinegar before meals helps to stabilize blood sugar a little.

Hi, my kids have T1 diabetes and are all hard as nails when it comes to needles, but I do appreciate a finger prick can smart!

If you’re not already, try using the side of your finger tip, not the finger pad for testing. It’s much more comfortable, especially when were you have to do them regularly.

Remember everyone, including non diabetics, will be high after a carb heavy meal. Testing him then won’t mean much. Better to check first thing in the morning before breakfast when sugars should be in range.

The gold standard blood test for sugar monitoring is the HbA1c which gives you an average of your sugars for the past 3 months. You can’t cheat it! That will give much more information than a couple of random finger pricks.

Good luck, diabetes is a horrible disease but the more you know the better you can control it and avoid complications (and feel better too…Out of control sugars make you feel awful).

Thank you @nicobean and @44PumpLane
I've just seen the NHS does something called a full body MOT for 40-74 year olds where they check for diabetes. I think I'll ask DH to do that.

@nicobean many thanks for the HbA1c advice. I didn't appreciate that there was a specific way to judge sugars and not as haphazardly as I was suggesting 😅

@44PumpLane thank you for cider vinegar advice!