To stop going to something as ex with be there

[Cycleforth]

He broke up with me a few months ago and in a horrible way and said some cruel things. We are both members of a cycling club and I haven't returned as I want no contact or connection with him and am now looking to join another club, even though it's my choice, it makes me angry. Friends are saying I've handed it to him on a plate and made it nice and easy for him. I think I wouldn't enjoy it any more and I certainly don't want to go on cycles with him. There's also a big social element to the club also so there's no avoiding him.

I'd appreciate if:

YABU - return to the club
YANBU - Even though it upsets me, make a fresh start with new cycling club

I'm not sure why you are asking, you don't want to go so don't go. Ignore other peoples shitty opinions, you are perfectly entitled to make this choice.

You clearly feel strongly enough about it to have given up the club you shared with your ex.

A hobby is meant to be enjoyable, bit something that you dread or just have to get through.

Hopefully a new club will give you back the same feeling as the old one once you settle into it.

It's absolutely up to you

I’d do the other club too

Going back to the club you used to attend with your ex would cause you pain. It’s not about winning or losing, it’s about living your life in way that makes you happy. If you don’t want to put yourself through the stress and seeing him at your old club, find a new club.

Yes, this is how I feel really. I just doubt my decision a bit and wonder have I made it nice and easy for him. Realistically, I think I'd only be returning to make a point that it's my club also and I'm not leaving, but not for the enjoyment of it, even though I feel a bit sad leaving the lovely people I've met there.

I think you've made a good decision. Fresh start, new people, away from your ex.

Why put yourself through any uncomfortable/unhappy feelings just to prove a point. Who knows what joys the new club will bring you while old shittypants is still stuck with the same old, same old. Hear what other people say but don't necessarily listen - do what's right for you.

I was very conflicted for a while due to leaving friends behind, but am definitely leaning towards a new club now. I'll keep in contact hopefully with a few for cycles outside of club.

Onwards to new experiences can only be a good thing. I can understand you feeling conflicted but I'd say a clean break is best overall

So I registered with new club today. Here's hoping it works out well. Thanks for helpful advice.

Best of luck... I think it's the right decision, although hard.