New territory...teenager (how long does this last?!)

[LincolnLoopy]

Hello posting here for traffic really or I'm not sure if I'm BU as not sure I really want the 'answer' to this but as the title says how long do these teenage years last?
DD is 13 and a bit & I knew the teenage attitude would be hard but wow this is next level I'm not sure if it's normal or if I just wasn't prepared for how much she would change?
she is generally a good kid, caring, polite shows empathy ect but when she goes into one of her mood swings she is awful, rude, point blank just ignores either chores I tell her to do or just ignores me speaking to her full stop. I feel like I am in new territory and unsure how to navigate keeping boundaries that she just seems to want to test? when I do punishments ie take her console off her, tablet ect I know it's pissed her off but then the whole attitude smirking pretty much a "am i bovverd tho?" thing absolutely drives me to insanity and I do follow through on things as in warning, then removal of goods and keeping them for as long as i warned her I would. she will appologise eventually get them back after the week everythings fine again then a few days later she's back at it? just wanted a rough idea of how long it will be this way I feel like I'm on eggshells waiting for the next blow up. sorry for the long post, looking forward to spending the day with my 2 year old neice tomorrow 😂

My brother is 17 and still displaying some teenage angst.

I think they start to level out around 18/19. Peaks and troughs in-between.

My DD is 16 so I hear you. With her it’s more the attitude tone when she is talking rather than what she says at times.
honestly, just keep going. Enjoy the good days and ride out the bad ones.
stick to your rules and principles and don’t let things go but also don’t make everything a battle.
I say to my DD that there is no reason to talk to me badly and I won’t accept it.
they are the centre of their own world and they think that you don’t know anything about anything.

One of the hardest things is when you think everything is okay and calm and then something will happen that sends them into a spin and you have to react instantly and be on alert.

exactly the same here it's the tone & attitude if how she says/does things not what she's saying or doing as such. I keep reminding her she's 13 not 18 and I try not to do things that will cause a reaction. I remember giving my own mum the same attitude and defiance but I just didn't realise how horrible it was to be on the other side. Karma I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

Haha too true 😂 I saw a Mother’s Day card last year that said ‘by the time you have realised that your mum was right you have a daughter that thinks you’re wrong’ 😂

I bank it - until the next time they want something (usually 10 mins after the rude attitude) - then I expect an apology and a short discussion on acceptable behaviour. Depending on the behaviour I might then carry on and give them what they have asked for or point blank refuse.

The book 'Get out of my life! ...but first take me and Alex into town' reflects this! Teens hate you one minute and want you to help them the next.

Pick your battles - let the small stuff go and the big stuff gets challenged. Teens brains are basically going through toddlerhood again but with added hormones and door slamming.

I have 3 girls - 20,18 and 14 - you will survive - but make sure you have wine.

Oh and 20 year old was home from Uni this Christmas and tore a strip of her sisters for the way they spoke to me and didn't help out around the house which while appreciated was also quiet funny!