A waste of money- any other solution?

[FourFour]

I might be flamed but need some help. We have a DS newborn(6 week old) and a 5yo. I am struggling. Dh has a very stressful but well paid job and I'm a sahm. My Ds has reflux, it was a complicated birth and I'm just overwhelmed with 2 kids. Dh is a completely hands on dad and I would say we are doing everything equally and he has his job as well. We are both people who absolutely can't cope without sleep. Dh has a health condition and I have sleep apnea. I know most people would say it's normal with newborns, have a coffee and crack on. We went through this with my 5yo and we only slept after she turned 3 as she was horrendous with sleep. My ds it seems is similar. We currently do the nights in shifts. me having 2-3 hours just doesn't cut it. I need a full 6-7 hours to feel even semi normal.
My ds seems to cry/feel the worst in the morning which coincides with school times for my dd. We also live in Central London where our parking is roads away from our home and trying to manage a screaming baby and dd is just impossible. Sorry for this absolutely long winded story but here's the dilemma. We have decided that the only solution is to hire a FT nanny housekeeper. I feel this is such a waste because I'm a sahm but at the same time we are overwhelmed with everything at home and desperately need help. would you do this even if you could afford it?

I’d also say night nanny. Baby might not react to them as they do to you.
I know there was a long period of time I would go to bed at 7pm and DH would stay up till midnight with baby. I would take the 12-6.30 shift and he would sleep. He would leave for work at 8am.
Between us we got enough sleep, it was just boring.

What is a sleep nannie?? Do they just sit in the babys room and get them back off when they wake? I have honestly never heard of it before

PS night nanny is worthwhile even if you are BF - there’s a massive difference between waking up to feed a baby who is brought to you and then taken away to be settled (and you put in earplugs and go back to sleep) vs getting out of bed, feeding, winding, changing nappy and then resettling …

Since you will still be taken charge of the baby you really need a housekeeper. Someone to drop dd to school, clean around and cook some nice food. Just do it. Whatever works. We had to have a housekeeper/ toddler minder during all my pregnancies as l was so sick. I made no apologies as it was our decision and the only way we knew to get through it. Having dinner prepped and cooked is huge.

Wouldn't it be easier to find someone to do the morning school run?

Seriously? Don't put down others difficulties just because you coped ok. Grossly unempathetic and contributes to the guilt and anxiety mums feel.

I was a single mum with twins, and was not coping with the lack of sleep (on the worst night, I only got 30 mins sleep).

I felt it was my job to mind the babies during the day, but I needed some sleep at night.

So I got a night nanny (a lovely maternity nurse). It was amazing to go to bed at 10pm, knowing I was "off the clock" until 7am. I didn't mind doing one or two nights a week on my own.

When I went back to work, she transitioned to be my day nanny, and is still here 3 years later. My children adore her, and she makes it possible for me to do my full time job (senior role).

If you have it, I'd say "throw money at the problem". It's not forever.
How about a night nanny a few nights a week, and a mothers help to do mornings (take your older child to school, maybe cook lunch)?

I am a sahm and had a severely poorly reflux baby but I could walk the school run so just carried him in a sling. In your position I would absolutely hire someone to do that school run for you plus household tasks, tidying, laundry and meal prep. Definitely throw money at it. Getting in help is wanting the best for your children and this is a way to do it.

Alternatively a night nanny but I think the day time help would feel like they could do more, not just the childcare bit but household stuff too.