Hi, hope you don't mind be bumping this OP. I have a similar issue and was looking for some help.
In my case I feel awful like I've failed by son because I never raised it with the school. I constantly hear that P said this or P was in trouble today, so i felt the school were doing their best. I know other kids from the class talk a lot of this kid too. I also know P trains with my son and i've heard other parents talk about similar behaviour and constant trouble with the coaches. My problems is P has become a bit fixated on my DS, i think it has escalated over the months. DS never wanted me to become involved but 2 weeks ago there was an incident and he said I should talk to the school but then the next day he said P was being nice to him and to leave it. Like all bullies, P is surrouned by a gang of morons who laugh along, he is a very quick witted child from what I know, typical asshole bully. In the last 2 weeks these other kids have become braver and have started to zone in on DS too, I think P has normalised it for them to pick on DS. They usually just make lame jokes, chant silly things, cheer when he loses or boo if he wins a challenge, that type of thing.
Ds is a quiet bookish boy and likes to read alone at yard so knocking the book out of his hand has become Ps game in the last few days. Yesterday when he went to grab DS's book, DS tried to pull it back and P punched him repeatedly in the face. This is the first time there has been violence. The school reported it to me as an incident between 2 boys, but it was a very targeted attack by a known bully.
I feel so crap for letting it slide for so long. I kept thinking what can they do, P has behavioural problems etc but now I'm so stressed that my silence made P think DS was an easy target, maybe other parents had already complained and he got away with it with my family. I work in a school so maybe was thinking of it from the perspective of the teacher, thinking what actions they could take. Now I'm reflecting on it i think my judgment was off.
My older DS had behaviour issues, I dont think he was a bully but he definitely was one of the idiots who laugh along, and was constanty in trouble in school for being disruptive. When he was younger 3-6ish he was THAT kid in the playground or soft play area, and I remember too well the lingering hostile looks from parents, the whispering groups behind me, or occasionally the scary confrontations. I always apologised but it was the most horrible isolating experience and I still feel anxious around parents from that DS1 old primary class. Anytime I heard about P I would think, oh his poor parents they must be having an awful time. But now I realise I should only be thinking of my DS, I should have advocated for him and him only and not given a shit about anyone else, thats what other parents seem to do.
Any thoughts on what I should do now please? Or words of wisdom from anyone who has been the parent of a bullied child.