What should i do? Should I move out?

[unsureandconfusedhelp]

Posting because I have no idea what to do! Any advice or perspective would be gratefully appreciated.

im 23 and still live at home with my parents. It works for everyone- I like it here and they said they like the company (i believe them when they say that, I don’t think they’re lying lol). We’re close as a family so we actually spend a lot of time together too. Im the youngest and last to move out. My siblings stayed at home for as long as they could - older than me - basically until they were out of uni, earning a good wage, and had a decent deposit saved up for a house.

ive just started my graduate job after university and am not making great money as im at the beginning of the career, but the salary in this profession rises quite quickly once you’ve had a few years experience so in a few years I should hopefully have a good salary. My plan was to stay at home for the next 2-5 years, save up like mad for a house deposit. I like being at home and my parents apparently like having me so it works for everyone. They’re in a good position financially and absolutely will not accept rent or money from me- I’ve tried transferring it and they just send it back over and will not accept it. They didn’t accept it from my siblings so won’t accept it from me, they said all they want is for me to work hard and save up so I can have the security of owning a flat/house etc especially with how unpredictable the market and renting can be.

i know on a practical level it would be sensible to stay at home and save up and im very fortunate and grateful to have the opportunity to do it. But I’ve seen so many posts here saying that it’s better to move out earlier than what I’ll be (27/28+) and that you get so many skills by moving out. I could to move out right now but not comfortably IYSWIM, and it would take a lot longer to save up for a deposit. But would I be a better all rounded person if I was independent and moved out? Saving money isn’t everything and I don’t know if it would be better to fly the nest and stand on my own two feet for a while? Or whether I should just ignore my friends teasing (they have all moved out and are renting) and stay at home and save up for the next few years?

has anyone experienced similar (either way) and has any advice? Thanks 🙂

I would also encourage you to go out and have fun and act your age! You are only young once, don't let experiences pass you by.

I'd stay at home and save.
Can't think of any particularly unique skills one would get moving out as soon as they got a job unless you lived a particularly sheltered life.

I should add, my experiences of moving out was at 18, living in a shit hole bedsit and being as poor as a church mouse, I had to spend so much on rent, until I met my now DH at 23. Luckily, he had a bit of a deposit saved, from living in pretty god awful house shares, and we managed to buy our own place in Dublin before the market went crazy. Neither of us look back on our renting years with fondness, they were pretty grim and I will happily help my daughter avoid those experiences. Being poor because of crippling rent prices is no fun.

I think you are absolutely doing the right thing, if you are happy and so are your parents then that’s the perfect arrangement. I stayed at home until I bought my first house at 23 (this was over 10 years ago when the financial climate was different!) I had secured a full time job at 21 and started saving like mad, living with my mum. I met my boyfriend quickly into starting my job and a year later he moved in with mum and I, we had decided to buy a house and we both carried on saving. We began paying mum rent as she was kindly letting us stay and outnumbering her in her own home - it wasn’t as much as a renting elsewhere, but it was a fair amount. It took around a year to get a decent amount of money together to start house hunting - when we found the perfect place we had most of the deposit and at this time mum gifted us our rent back! She had put it all into a savings account and it finished our deposit! My boyfriend is now my husband of 12 years and we have three children (and a bigger house!) I guess the point I’m making is it can work if it works for you, so don’t let anyone make you feel that you are wrong. Anything can happen and unexpected changes take place all the time, so just let it be what it is for now and good luck to you!

You already sound well rounded and independent so as long as everyone is happy with the situation then why waste your money on rent when you can save and get on the property ladder?

I don't think you can say do or don't right now.

Certainly stay with your parents, but just don't put an expectation of time on it. I mean, let's say you meet someone you absolutely adore and want to move in with - don't stay with mum and dad because you feel you've 'committed'. Don't stay if you start feeling like you're getting a bit annoyed of being at home. Do of course stay if everything suits you all!

I couldn't have done it. Moving back with my parents after uni drove me batty so I didn't really. But then, I was already living with a boyfriend in a place where we could still buy a cheap house.

Absolutely how I feel about my two (16 and 19)!

What an inspiring post!

Sounds like you come from an incredibly supportive set of parents. Your lucky and should, as long as your happy, stay where you are and make the most if the situation! Most of your friends will likely be stuck in the rental trap and not be in a fortunate position, don’t listen to people who tease, 9/10 they would swap places with you if possible

My dd is 26 and still at home. She went to uni and then did a masters while staying at home. She has been working for 2-3 years and has saved up a reasonable deposit. She has bought a lovely new house and gets the keys in 2 weeks. If she had moved out she would likely still be in a rental paying someone else's mortgage for the foreseeable. We have a good relationship with ups and downs but she is looking at the long game rather than short term.

Stay at home and save. Id be more than happy for DS to do this and it's the only way to be able to afford a home now.

I’d say stay. I am older than my siblings I bought my first flat at 22 on 100% mortgage which ended up being Bad money move. Which cost me a lot to get out off and was only able to do so when I was married. They have all stayed into their 20s and are saving to buy and move out. They did pay rent as my parents weren’t so well off. As long as you have your independence then why not. Does not make you less of a person to be living with your parents!

Sounds like you have lovely supportive parents. If they are absolutely refusing to accept rent then find other ways to contribute even if it's as simple as treating them to a meal out every so often. Make sure you have bills of your own such as a mobile contract and also a credit card as this builds a credit history which you will need when applying for a mortgage. Doing chores around the house also builds up the skills you will need. It's worth taking part in any DIY so that you learn how to tackle those things too.

People tend to leave home a lot later nowadays for obvious financial reasons. If you're all getting on well and you like it, there's no issue. Save like hell while you have the opportunity! Have you got a LIsa?

The skills you might learn by living alone are household management rather just doing than the individual tasks. For instance planning all your meals, shopping and cooking. If you live with your parents there's a chance you might not do everything, if they do the shopping or make some of the meals. It's the same with things like budgeting, paying bills, cleaning and laundry. You probably know how to do all the tasks but you might not have a chance to get into a system of your own where you are in charge of everything. So if you want to practise these life skills while living at home you might need to just think over how you are going to do that. I don't think there's anything wrong with your parents doing some things for you though. After all if you move out you may have flatmates or a partner who would do some things for you. It's more about having a system for how you manage things that you are in control of.