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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Passed up on promotion

114 replies

ellie09 · 13/01/2023 12:17

So, in my work we get EOY apprisals where there is a certain amount of automatic promotions allocated.

I've been with the company 4 years. I've worked my backside off the last year covering illness and as the more experienced team member, I've had to help out the others in the team quite often.

I was disappointed in my appraisal I must say. I got given a pay rise, and a bonus similar to last year. The feedback given to me was that the team would be lost without me, I'm so experienced and great with helping out with others and next chance I get I should apply for promotion. Despite this, I was given the same rating as last year (where admittedly I didn't work as hard)

There are two others in my team. They've been there for around one year and are very friendly with the manager. They know about 30% of the processes I do, and I regularly help them with their work etc. They work hard and are nice people but I don't feel as though they are on the same level as me.

Anyhow, the two of them got automatic promotions.

We are told to keep hush hush about any news we are told but I overheard conversations as they sit behind me.

I am obviously very upset. I've always been considered the more tenured team member, the one people apparently "need" and I have been passed up over them.

As its not common knowledge, I'm sitting here today keeping my mouth shut, really trying to hold back tears of frustration and anger. I'm thinking about taking some time off.

AIBU?

What would you guys do in my situation?

OP posts:
Pipsquiggle · 13/01/2023 14:54

DevonSunsets · 13/01/2023 14:08

I'm am kind of in your situation and for the same reason. My 121/Year End and feedback is off the charts. My area should be a team of three and I'm currently making it work with just me. I didn't get promoted, even though I'm the sole member of this team and the promotion was available. How the fuck does that even work.

So I went elsewhere with our business area for a promotion - got the job and a lovely pay rise. My current unit made it so awkward for me to go (demanded extended handover time/ wanting an agreement that I could come back at peak times/ cover for leave) - that the other department then withdrew.

Everyone is up in arms as I no longer do the job of three. I refuse. I do my job. You fuck me over for a pay rise in the middle of a cost of living crisis just because you know I get that job done. Well, not anymore.

@DevonSunsets

This sounds grounds for constructive dismissal!

You got a promotion in another team. Your current team then were so shitty about releasing you that your promotion got rescinded - that's completely out of order.

If you have email documentation, I would definitely take that up with HR or a senior manager / director

DevonSunsets · 13/01/2023 15:04

Pipsquiggle · 13/01/2023 14:54

@DevonSunsets

This sounds grounds for constructive dismissal!

You got a promotion in another team. Your current team then were so shitty about releasing you that your promotion got rescinded - that's completely out of order.

If you have email documentation, I would definitely take that up with HR or a senior manager / director

Show quote history

You are right, but I am playing the long game now.

I've put in a training request for a extremely expensive course. I would not normally qualify but I know its going to be agreed to try to pacify me. Once I have done the course, I will be in a great position to go external and jump a number of pay grades. I have checked, there is no lock in or payback clauses but the unit head (who made the other job go away) has assumed there is. You know what they say about assumptions.....

catandcoffee · 13/01/2023 15:05

Look for a new job OP.

You've sold yourself short by always helping,always being available, always picking up the crap.

They don't respect you or your work, and want to keep you where you are, so you can always be there to pick up the crap.

Puffin87 · 13/01/2023 15:07

I read your older post, OP. Like you, I work in banking.

Two main things in your older post stood out:

  • You prefer volume to accuracy. You need to be hitting target and maintaining a high quality score. Exceeding target on lower quality isn't positive.
  • You resent your coworkers and manager being friendly. If you don't join in, you either need to work fully remotely or make an effort with the people part.
Patineur · 13/01/2023 15:15

Stop putting in 110%, start looking for another job.

butterfliedtwo · 13/01/2023 15:22

Stop being helpful and look for another job. They're taking advantage.

MushMonster · 13/01/2023 17:05

DevonSunsets · 13/01/2023 14:08

I'm am kind of in your situation and for the same reason. My 121/Year End and feedback is off the charts. My area should be a team of three and I'm currently making it work with just me. I didn't get promoted, even though I'm the sole member of this team and the promotion was available. How the fuck does that even work.

So I went elsewhere with our business area for a promotion - got the job and a lovely pay rise. My current unit made it so awkward for me to go (demanded extended handover time/ wanting an agreement that I could come back at peak times/ cover for leave) - that the other department then withdrew.

Everyone is up in arms as I no longer do the job of three. I refuse. I do my job. You fuck me over for a pay rise in the middle of a cost of living crisis just because you know I get that job done. Well, not anymore.

Is this legal? Can they withdraw a promotion in the other departent?
You do right to do only your job DevonSunsets
I hope you get that other role soon, for real this time. Or find another company

LemonBounce · 13/01/2023 17:19

Look for another job and leave. It will be great to see them trying to make you stay, but by then it will be too late. if you're already doing the job the next level up this will shine through in job applications and interview.
There's no point talking to HR they are just there to back management, and there's no point trying to explain to your manager they won't appreciate their judgement being challenged.
DO an exit interview when you leave, clearly explaining your reasons and ask to do it with your manager's manager.

RaiseTheStakesAndMakeTheLastWordDuckhead · 13/01/2023 18:59

ellie09 · 13/01/2023 14:20

The others do not have children and are early 20s. I'm turning 30 soon

Also it is based on ratings. We are rated 1-5 according to performance. I was well aware a 4 was needed, so I was aiming for this and was expecting it. I've had a few errors throughout the year (minor ones such as one email being missed, like EVERY member of my team but nothing major)

I was rated a 3 "consistently strong" and they told me I don't exceed because of a few minor faults throughout the year. Its been also highlighted to those promoted that they have also had minor faults. This is despite being told I've went above and beyond so their words aren't matching their actions unfortunately and I'm really confused as to why this is

Show quote history

OP - lots of good advice here. I also think you need to contact pregnant then screwed (pregnantthenscrewed.com) and get advice. If all you have stated is accurate, this could be worthy of a grievance. Please don't take it lying down.

Hawkins001 · 14/01/2023 20:33

ellie09 · 13/01/2023 13:14

No, two women. There's a big push at the moment to promote women in my workplace

Show quote history

could other services so to speak, be the reason for their promotions ?

Original poster
ellie09 · 14/01/2023 20:51

Hawkins001 · 14/01/2023 20:33

could other services so to speak, be the reason for their promotions ?

Show quote history

What do you mean by other services?

OP posts:
Thesonglastslonger · 14/01/2023 20:55

Well that sucks. ☹️

Request a meeting with your manager and say that the company has promoted to
the level above you two people who have far less experience and knowledge than you do, people you regularly have to help with their work, and this has made you feel that either the management does not understand what has been happening in the workplace on a day to day basis, or something else has been taken into account. Ask in what way their work is superior to yours. It is possible that they’re awesome in some way you haven’t noticed eg great at soft skills or whatever.

Job hunt.

STOP helping them in fact stop using your time to improve others’ work.

Brefugee · 14/01/2023 20:59

Oh OP that sucks. It happened to me in a previous job. I found that the newly promoted people tried to get me to actually take over their responsibilities and assume leadership.

I worked to my contract and bounced everything up to them with a "above my pay grade".
I'm sorry it's happened to you. You have to decide if you want to stay where you are and relax a bit and enjoy the pay rise, or look elsewhere.

stormywaves · 14/01/2023 21:01

I learnt the hard way there is zero glory to be had helping others. You just make them look good and you are invisible. Some managers also notice people who suck up to them.

stop helping others and start looking for another job

Sorefootouch · 14/01/2023 21:09

I was in a similar situation. In my case it was an internal role that a peer and I both applied for. He was told he would get the role even before the interviews took place, and the only thing he was better at than me was being male. The boss was a total misogynist and would never have given the role to a woman in a thousand years.

it gave me the push I needed to go and get another job and the career progression I have made in the four years since leaving had been phenomenal. I have doubled my salary and am working in a role that appreciates my skills. I love it! So don’t look back OP. Leave these losers behind and get out there!

Eleganz · 14/01/2023 21:13

Time to move on OP, that is what that situation always signifies.

Pottyaboutplants · 14/01/2023 21:21

I'm sorry this has happened to you.
I think they don't like you as much. It an be as simple as that although that is very hard to hear. Sometimes imo if they keep you where you are, they are hoping you will move. They may think you are a steady worker but don't bring enough ideas to the table. I was that person and changed departments. In hindsight I shouldn't have changed because the original dept and role suited me very well. I left because I was hurt and where I moved to was worse!

gigithecat · 14/01/2023 21:23

This sucks OP. This happened to me and that soured me relationship with my LM and with company in general. I decided to leave as I lost all my trust in them. Your place clearly doesn’t value you enough to promote you but they don’t have any issues with you working overtime and taking on extra responsibility. Leave if you can, and go somewhere you’ll be appreciated.

JudgeJudee · 14/01/2023 22:01

I’ll keep this brief because it’s Saturday night and I wasn’t planning on thinking about work but my work involves adjudicating employment tribunals, managing things like appraisal or disciplinary appeals, and mediation.

Where I have seen someone unhappy with an appraisal, they often cite other employees being treated different and talk about what happens in those EOY conversations, but the truth is that they really don’t know what went on.

I often see people who are great workers but spend so much of their time doing the day to day, they never end up doing tasks that lead to them going above and beyond in another other than a transactional or operational capacity. Often, it can be a case that someone prides themselves on being the go-to for a particular activity and believe they’re the only one who can do it well so end up spending a large amount of time on one existing process while other people move on to more complicated and value-add things, safe in the knowledge that someone is taking the slack on the business-as-usual activity.

Another thing that can come up is behaviours. What you do is one thing, but how you do it is also hugely important. Do you get on with your manager and support them? You’re being a bit snide here about your colleagues- does that tone come when you’re in work?

gumball37 · 14/01/2023 22:24

Work your level. They obviously have no desire to promote you, so before you leave for a new position, do just what you're paid for and nothing more. Your new "senior" team members can take care of the extra stuff.

RockGirl · 15/01/2023 20:45

This happened to me. I eventually left. They replaced me with someone to rungs up on the management scale.

If you were a man you would have left by now.

RockGirl · 15/01/2023 20:46

**two

InsomniacVampire · 15/01/2023 20:52

Concur with people who say you should leave. No point staying in a place that keeps you where you are because you are too good.

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 16/01/2023 17:46

ellie09 · 13/01/2023 12:17

So, in my work we get EOY apprisals where there is a certain amount of automatic promotions allocated.

I've been with the company 4 years. I've worked my backside off the last year covering illness and as the more experienced team member, I've had to help out the others in the team quite often.

I was disappointed in my appraisal I must say. I got given a pay rise, and a bonus similar to last year. The feedback given to me was that the team would be lost without me, I'm so experienced and great with helping out with others and next chance I get I should apply for promotion. Despite this, I was given the same rating as last year (where admittedly I didn't work as hard)

There are two others in my team. They've been there for around one year and are very friendly with the manager. They know about 30% of the processes I do, and I regularly help them with their work etc. They work hard and are nice people but I don't feel as though they are on the same level as me.

Anyhow, the two of them got automatic promotions.

We are told to keep hush hush about any news we are told but I overheard conversations as they sit behind me.

I am obviously very upset. I've always been considered the more tenured team member, the one people apparently "need" and I have been passed up over them.

As its not common knowledge, I'm sitting here today keeping my mouth shut, really trying to hold back tears of frustration and anger. I'm thinking about taking some time off.

AIBU?

What would you guys do in my situation?

How much does the promotion affect what you do in relation to your skill set? I used to work in a niche roll in the company I was with prior to my current job. I was sensational at it and widely recognised/appreciated for it. A chance came up for a middle manager job that encompassed some of my role due to company expansion. I sailed the assessment and interview and proceeded to be absolutely diabolical at the job as I just wasn't suited for it - I couldn't take my eye of my work to manage the team well enough and as such also never grasped the skill of over seeing things that was required for that role. Could that be a factor or is it just a literal step up into more important work in the same bracket?

Original poster
ellie09 · 16/01/2023 18:00

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 16/01/2023 17:46

How much does the promotion affect what you do in relation to your skill set? I used to work in a niche roll in the company I was with prior to my current job. I was sensational at it and widely recognised/appreciated for it. A chance came up for a middle manager job that encompassed some of my role due to company expansion. I sailed the assessment and interview and proceeded to be absolutely diabolical at the job as I just wasn't suited for it - I couldn't take my eye of my work to manage the team well enough and as such also never grasped the skill of over seeing things that was required for that role. Could that be a factor or is it just a literal step up into more important work in the same bracket?

Show quote history

Its basically the same job role, with slightly more challenging tasks given to you e.g. you may be given certain projects to complete

I don't know. I told my manager around 6 months ago that I would like to go for promotion next time it was there. I got feedback at the time that was taken on board and I felt I was completing

I should note we are supposed to have a one to one session once a month. I schedule these in for us and often, they will get pushed back or canceled by my manager. I've maybe had 2 one to one meetings in the last 6 months. Feedback from these were positive and no negative feedback or improvement areas given so I believed I was on the right track

When you compare that to the two that got promoted. She never canceled their one to one. They were clearly receiving much more frequent guidance than I was. These two will frequently go for lunch with the manager and she will buy them lunch and coffee etc (the rest of us don't get)

Just before news was given on the promotions, she had a chat with me. Reassured me that I was going to be her "project" into the new year and once I took a step back I realized she used the other two as "projects" and I was put on the back burner. I did have a lot of work assigned to me (a lot more than most could cope with) but I was accepting it as I thought after letting her know I was working towards a promotion, that this would help me. It clearly hasn't

I was filled with dread about coming into work. Everyone's gossiping. Everyone couldn't believe I didn't get any kept telling me "I already thought you were in a higher position with everything you do" .. So there you have it

I've decided to take some time off work to decide on how I would like to move forward as I am mentally drained and exhausted. A company I have worked sick for, canceled annual leave to help them out throughout the year etc and the ones that seemingly get promoted are the ones doing as little work as possible and constantly taking months off sick at a time

I've put off going on sick to work hard for this all year. Now I'm just over it to be honest

OP posts: