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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a home stay student

40 replies

Northwestsouth · 12/01/2023 23:30

friend With a kid suggested I become a home stay host as get money for renting out my spare room. I’ve had lodgers and I never feel uncomfortable for various reasons.

I’ve applied and could potentially have an international at £175 per week. He’s from
kuwait and government is funding his studies. Will be for initial 12 weeks. Have to provide a cooked meal and leave out breakfast.

friend with a kid said it was easy, but she was getting people of her daughters age (although she’s only just gone to secondary school so not sure how close in age they were).

Im in Manchester so the housing crisis meant I could increase my rent to £500 per month.

Friend thinks I'm being unreasonable as it’s going to be bad. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
Northwestsouth · 12/01/2023 23:30

Sorry for not proof reading!

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 12/01/2023 23:31

I would be worried about the electricity bill if I had someone in the house like that. It could cost an absolute fortune so it wouldn't make much money at all.

Original poster
Northwestsouth · 12/01/2023 23:33

determinedtomakethiswork · 12/01/2023 23:31

I would be worried about the electricity bill if I had someone in the house like that. It could cost an absolute fortune so it wouldn't make much money at all.

Electricity bill? I already have a lodger, bills are already massive. I would need to know how many hours he’s going to be studying I think… as I’m working from home mostly now

OP posts:
Original poster
Northwestsouth · 12/01/2023 23:35

I wonder about the food.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 12/01/2023 23:37

How old is he?

Original poster
Northwestsouth · 12/01/2023 23:54

21

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 13/01/2023 05:42

How would you feel about being responsible for supplying meals...not the cooking or planning case such but being 'tied'. I'd struggle to sharevmy home but a foreign student sounds as good a bet as anyone. I'd imagine they will be at college/uni during the day and studying hard and more likely to accept house rules as a given.
It might be worth asking about cultural/faith considerations too eg will they require a Halahl diet etc. They might also find the weather a bit of a shock so heating could be a consideration too. If you have room I'd consider taking in 2. Many cultures are happy to share a twin room too so if eg you have a larger bedroom with ensure you could swap and double your money. Just an idea

RambamThankyouMam · 13/01/2023 05:52

Don't do it. They're always weirdos.

GingerPigz · 13/01/2023 05:57

I think it's a great way to make extra money - especially as you are already use to have someone sharing your accommodation. I have a friend who does it and her students have always been fine (and if they aren't get back to the agency that organised it). I've worked for international schools that organise it and there has rarely been issues (in fact the issues are usually with the host that don't treat the student well). Furthermore I have worked extensively with Arabs and they are generally very respectful. If the government is funding his study he will be aware of of the privilege and behave accordingly. I'd definitely say go for it.

PAFMO · 13/01/2023 06:03

If it's via an organisation (and that way takes a lot of the expectations away from both you and the student) (university/language school etc) then you'll be given all the information you need once you've been approved. It's not as simple as taking on a lodger, your house will be inspected to make sure you're not effectively running a b&b etc. Some organisations will insist on single rooms, and may insist that no more than a certain number of people are hosted. Often nobody speaking the same language. You'll have to have a DBS even if the student is an adult in most cases.
There's more to it than at first you might think- as pps have said, you need to factor in diet and heating costs.
I work for an organisation that is currently desperate for host families, so there is definitely a market for it- but it's not a way to get rich quick, or even make that much money. The ones we keep on year after year tend to be the ones clearly not doing it for the money. The ones who show the student their Tesco yellow label food and tell them they can only have a bath once a week (and you'd be surprised at how many people are like this) don't tend to get students once the first one has complained and been refunded.
Obviously, if you're thinking of doing it privately, then scrap all of the above, but in the way that doing it through an organisation protects the student, it also protects the host family.

PAFMO · 13/01/2023 06:05

I'd also agree (very generally) that Asian students, whether that be from the middle East or the far East, will be a lot less trouble than Europeans!

maddening · 13/01/2023 06:10

175 for 7 breakfasts and 7 dinners and accommodation- can you price up the dinners to see what you are left with for accommodation and compare to just getting a lodger?

Original poster
Northwestsouth · 13/01/2023 10:00

JudgeRudy · 13/01/2023 05:42

How would you feel about being responsible for supplying meals...not the cooking or planning case such but being 'tied'. I'd struggle to sharevmy home but a foreign student sounds as good a bet as anyone. I'd imagine they will be at college/uni during the day and studying hard and more likely to accept house rules as a given.
It might be worth asking about cultural/faith considerations too eg will they require a Halahl diet etc. They might also find the weather a bit of a shock so heating could be a consideration too. If you have room I'd consider taking in 2. Many cultures are happy to share a twin room too so if eg you have a larger bedroom with ensure you could swap and double your money. Just an idea

Does work like that sadly, one room
per student.

One student per room and if they want halal it’s extra.

OP posts:
Original poster
Northwestsouth · 13/01/2023 10:04

PAFMO · 13/01/2023 06:03

If it's via an organisation (and that way takes a lot of the expectations away from both you and the student) (university/language school etc) then you'll be given all the information you need once you've been approved. It's not as simple as taking on a lodger, your house will be inspected to make sure you're not effectively running a b&b etc. Some organisations will insist on single rooms, and may insist that no more than a certain number of people are hosted. Often nobody speaking the same language. You'll have to have a DBS even if the student is an adult in most cases.
There's more to it than at first you might think- as pps have said, you need to factor in diet and heating costs.
I work for an organisation that is currently desperate for host families, so there is definitely a market for it- but it's not a way to get rich quick, or even make that much money. The ones we keep on year after year tend to be the ones clearly not doing it for the money. The ones who show the student their Tesco yellow label food and tell them they can only have a bath once a week (and you'd be surprised at how many people are like this) don't tend to get students once the first one has complained and been refunded.
Obviously, if you're thinking of doing it privately, then scrap all of the above, but in the way that doing it through an organisation protects the student, it also protects the host family.

Hi it’s all been arranged via an institution. I’ve been vetted, DBS etc. it’s a private college.

how much time am I supposed to spend with the student? He’s 21. I guess he doesn’t know anyone, what will he do in his down time?

OP posts:
Original poster
Northwestsouth · 13/01/2023 10:06

With regards to money it’s an extra £60 per week, plus reduction in council tax, so an extra £30 a month as well. Breakfast is help your self cereal etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Northwestsouth · 13/01/2023 17:47

anyone know how much interaction a 21 year old will have

OP posts:
GailTheSnail · 13/01/2023 17:53

I used to do this and it's a bit of a gamble but most of the students i had were really nice. If you dont mind sharing your space with lodgers (i didn't either) you'll be fine

Original poster
Northwestsouth · 13/01/2023 18:15

GailTheSnail · 13/01/2023 17:53

I used to do this and it's a bit of a gamble but most of the students i had were really nice. If you dont mind sharing your space with lodgers (i didn't either) you'll be fine

Did you have an older student? This is a meals as well deal. :/

OP posts:
GailTheSnail · 13/01/2023 18:19

Ive had every age from 14 to 40 and yes always been meals as well. You're prob best having a chat early doors about what they'll eat and not eat. Some people say they'll eat anything to be polite but it's not always the case. At the age of 21I'd prob expect them to want to be hanging around with other students but some can be quieter or apprehensive about travelling round a new area at night. I would generally carry on living my normal life but try and make them feel as welcome as possible.

LIZS · 13/01/2023 18:23

Where is he studying? Is the timetable full time or will they be hanging around during the day?

Surely £175x4 is more than £500? Would a 21 yo not want to cater for themselves though?

Swimswam · 13/01/2023 18:25

My DS did this for a while.
My tips are: be firm on your boundaries and rules. Eg some of the visitors were using the washing machine for 1 item.
There is likely to be cultural clashes with men from more non western countries - this was my DS experience. Her young male visitor from Saudi tried to tell her what to do in her own house and would not follow her rules. She told the language school she could no lubber host him.
I would have a set if printed house rules for your guests so they are aware - eg you can use the washing machine twice a week. No cooking in kitchen after 10pm or before 7:30am etc. So that its really clear.
It can be a good source of extra income

PAFMO · 13/01/2023 18:39

Do not follow the above advice with printed rules. These people are paying you for a service. They choose a host family because they want to feel welcomed into said family and be treated like one of them, not as an inconvenience. We've had a couple of families who have treated their students like this, but we don't assign them any more unless we're desperate. Reflects badly on us.

OP- you asked about interaction- I'd imagine that a student in their 20s won't, in all honesty, want that much. They will have lots of social activities organized by the language school etc and will have other language student friends. It's a bit different with younger ones, where the whole point is that you're in loco parentis so expected to take them to places etc.

rookiemere · 13/01/2023 18:44

My neighbour did this each summer for a while. It worked really well for them as she's quite an implacable person who you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side.

We were over for dinner and the poor student wasn't allowed a kettle in the room, nor access to the kitchen and then my neighbour got narky when she asked for a cup of tea. Whereas as demonstrated by our dog and DS we'd probably end up sacrificing our master bedroom and sleeping in the box room. The fact you already have a lodger suggests you're probably quite good with boundaries.

Can you give it a go and then jack it in if it's not for you ?

Original poster
Northwestsouth · 13/01/2023 20:45

PAFMO · 13/01/2023 18:39

Do not follow the above advice with printed rules. These people are paying you for a service. They choose a host family because they want to feel welcomed into said family and be treated like one of them, not as an inconvenience. We've had a couple of families who have treated their students like this, but we don't assign them any more unless we're desperate. Reflects badly on us.

OP- you asked about interaction- I'd imagine that a student in their 20s won't, in all honesty, want that much. They will have lots of social activities organized by the language school etc and will have other language student friends. It's a bit different with younger ones, where the whole point is that you're in loco parentis so expected to take them to places etc.

Thanks.

Hes from Kuwait so I don’t want to be in the position whereby he has no one on the weekends. i guess they would do activities, unlike say Uni of <big city> where everyone is expected to look after themselves and join societies?

maybe we can DM? I can share the school.

OP posts:
Original poster
Northwestsouth · 13/01/2023 20:47

Swimswam · 13/01/2023 18:25

My DS did this for a while.
My tips are: be firm on your boundaries and rules. Eg some of the visitors were using the washing machine for 1 item.
There is likely to be cultural clashes with men from more non western countries - this was my DS experience. Her young male visitor from Saudi tried to tell her what to do in her own house and would not follow her rules. She told the language school she could no lubber host him.
I would have a set if printed house rules for your guests so they are aware - eg you can use the washing machine twice a week. No cooking in kitchen after 10pm or before 7:30am etc. So that its really clear.
It can be a good source of extra income

We do the cooking…. Meals provided.

yes I’m not good about rules for lodgers but I think international school it would be better. Paying for a service as opposed to “home”.

OP posts: