To think a relationship wouldn’t be easier just because you’re the same sex?

[pointofbreakking]

My friend and her boyfriend have a tumultuous relationship and she said to me if they don’t work out then she’d never be with a man again and she’d only date women. Said seriously and not a flippant comment.

Aibu to think that’s ridiculous and also ignorant. Assuming it’s just easy to date someone because they are the same sex as you regardless of whether you’re actually even attracted to that sex.

I’m all for experimenting but I think to do it based on an “easier life” assumption is not the one. .

I saw this and I was surprised, I did see a while ago (I’ll try and find it again) which showed that gay women typically married earlier in relationship than gay men, so I wonder if that is part of the reasons for more divorces.

But have you have a good number of relationships with each?

If it was just one relationship with a man then it’s not a fair comparison.

My other argument is (not you Rambam) if you’re straight why would you even consider the same sex if you’re physically not attracted to them? Because surely that’s just companionship rather than a sexual relationship.

In my experience of dating both sexes, relationships with men are harder to maintain on a practical level (the woman carries more of the load) and relationships with women are harder emotionally. There can be an intensity between two women, lots of hormonal ups and downs, and a set of expectations of the relationship that men generally can't be arsed to have! I am generalising but that has been my experience.

I actually think in many ways my life would be a lot easier if I were a lesbian. There's a lot about the way men conduct themselves in relationships which I can't come to terms with and which I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get from a woman.

In particular:

• Assuming that the woman will pick up most of the domestic work and all the mental load. Generally lame and selfish domestic behaviour.
• Mansplaining and grandstanding (talking over the top of you, showing off in public, telling you what to do)
• Assuming that they get to make decisions about important things in life without consultation
• Assuming that their tedious hobbies take precedence over yours
• Not listening to you
• General machismo and swagger

Not saying all men do this (my current partner doesn't) or that women never do this but women tend to be far less entitled and far more aware of the dynamics of relationships.

That said, I think the tendency of some women to overanalyse, over-think and want to talk about everything about the relationship would drive me bonkers. I've had numerous conversations with lesbians over the years who have said this is the only downside of committed relationships with other women.

Sometimes a man's lack of emotional awareness can actually be a blessing. Anyway I've never found women sexually attractive so I'm stuck with men.

Oftentimes people just aren't that interested in sex and conpanionship and intimacy (not necessarily sex) is more important.