to not want to go on an expensive-ish holiday?

[AnyasMum07]

A large group of us are trying to arrange a holiday together (10 adults, 4 kids plus our baby dd). We're trying to get a weekend in August but most places will only let you book for a week - we've found a really nice cottage that would do for a week and it's about £50 per night per couple, which I think is reasonable, but not everybody wants to do a week.

The others are getting enthusiastic about Centre Parcs as we can do a 3-night weekend, but it's nearly £100 per night per couple and that's just accommodation - I've never been to Centre Parcs but even if we do our own food I think there's going to be all kinds of extras to pay for. I'm not earning any money at the moment - I'm self-employed and so I get no income while on maternity leave. Hopefully that will change in the next few weeks, but I just don't know at this point. My dh has a small income but we don't have money to waste. The other couples all have really high-powered jobs and earn massive salaries.

I've tried explaining that I don't want to do a weekend that I don't think is good value, but I get the response that Centre Parcs is cheaper than the cottage (well, yes but we're only getting 3 nights instead of 7....!)

I don't want to fall out with my friends - it's all being done by email as we're scattered round the country - but I don't see why we should be obliged to pay over the odds. What makes it harder is that they all had a weekend away last spring (in a cottage) but we couldn't go because I had bad morning sickness, so now I feel like if we let them go on holiday without us again I'm going to feel really excluded.

AIBU?

I think you have to go along with the consensus - if there are five couples and four of them want to go to Centre Parcs and you cannot think of an option they would all prefer to that, then either you go to Center Parcs with them (with good grace) or you don't go away with them at all.

If they all work, then they have limited holidays they can use and they obv dont want to use them up with a week away.
They have obv gone to the trouble with finding somewhere that is within your budget, because it is cheaper than the cottage over a week. So they are already trying to accomodate your needs.

And to be blunt, if they earn big salaries, then potentially they are already compromising by going somewhere that is only a £100 per night (obv. that comment is based on what you may count as big salaries - so dont flame for saying that)

So YABU - you want it all your way and that simply isnt fair.

You can't expect people to go away for a week when they only want to do a weekend sorry.

I can understand the money issue for you I really can but then you have to find a cheaper option that allows you to go for just the weekend.

Also 7 days away is going to work out ALOT more expensive in the long run so I'm not sure I understand where you are comeing from is it the fact that you can't afford it or the fact that you don't see it as value for money?

Having reread your OP.

You say' we're trying to get a weekend away'. And they have found one.

I really dont see the problem. You are the one who has changed the goalposts and now want to do a week.

You are actually being really unreasonable thinking that people should use up a weeks worth of holidays in this cottage. Once holidays are used up - very few companies allow any extra days.

I dont think 3 days at center parcs will work out that much more than 7 days away in a cottage.

Maybe I am missing something, but actually really dont get this one. Surely you can see YABU.

There will be extras to pay whether you are in a cottage or in Center Parcs so the 7 night holiday will probably work out to be more expensive. You will be a bit limited in which extra activities you can do at Center Parcs because your DD is just a baby, so it may not cost as much as you think.

Is it possible the others just really don't want to do 7 nights as a big group? 7 nights with someone elses bad habits - and their children is not my idea of fun, but if I thought it was just three nights it might be OK.

Hi there!

I can understand where you are coming from being reluctant to spend £300 on a holiday you are not keen on. I can also understand you feeling left out if they go away without you - since I had ds2 I have felt excluded from one group of friends and it's not nice.

However I think unfortunately if 4 out of 5 couples want to do this then unfortunately you will have to go along with the majority or not go unless you can find an alternative. I was arranging my sisters hen do a couple of years ago and know how hard it is to find places to let for weekends in August. I found this place and it was very reasonable and lovely so may be worth a look?

Centre Parcs can be very expensive but doesn't have to be - you can go for walks and swim all for free so you could keep it cheaper if you needed to.

Good luck sorting it out!

It's a nightmare to sort out so many people to get together. I think you will have to go with everyone else if you do want to go away together, but obviously its alot of money to spend for a weekend. Do you have to go in August? Center Parcs can be much cheaper than that at other times.

We go to our local CP quite regularly, and you can make it quite a cheap weekend if you cook your own food, and don't book for extra activities (although the spa is fab, and usually cheaper in the evenings, so you should do that!!). The villas all have BBQs, which you could put to good use in the summer hopefully. And the swimming is free and very child/baby friendly. And I recommend the Sunday eat-all-you-can brunch as a way of having one cheap meal out together.

Hope you can get it sorted out

Alice - thanks for the link, I've emailed to find out what's available.

I think I badly worded my original post - when I said we'd found a cottage for a week I didn't mean me and dh, I meant 'we' as a group - one of the other couples found it and brought it up as a suggestion. I certainly haven't moved any goalposts. Also, nobody's compromising at the moment as far as I know - we've never discussed what anybody's budget is up until the Centre Parcs question arose - the cottage they stayed in last year wasn't particularly expensive.

But, yes I get the point that not everybody necessarily wants to take a week off work, and that we might all be killing each other by day 5 anyway!!

Think the answer will have to be to try and find an alternative for a weekend - don't think anybody's particularly bothered about Centre Parcs other than for that reason. Will post another thread asking for ideas.

Thanks for comments.

Does it have to be August, as CP will be more expensive then than, say, a few weeks later or you'd get more choice of shorter lets . Can see your point but as you didn't spend anything last year perhaps they think you afford more this .

Yes, has to be August to fit in with school hols - one of the other couples has a school-age child. Wouldn't be a problem otherwise, we could easily get a weekend cottage.

No ideas for alternative weekends away - but think group holidays tend to provoke conflict right from the start and someone always feels a bit left out/not listened to/whatever. I guess you do have to go with the flow, but maybe if you find an alternative weekend possibility the others might go along with it (compromise)? It'll all work out - but in our sleep deprived fuzzy new mum state everything seems a bit more difficult than it really is.

Choc - yes, I decided last night I am probably blowing this out of proportion due to being exhausted yesterday!

Actually one of the other couples has found out how much the extras at Centre Parcs are, and they've also come to the conclusion that it's a bit pricey, so have managed to find a cottage for the last weekend in August after the 'week-only' restrictions end. I think we're possibly sorted to everyone's satisfaction!

good news