Stroke Experiences

[PurplePineapple1]

I'm blatantly posting this here for the traffic.

Husband had a triple heart bypass on Tuesday and suffered multiple strokes immediately after the operation. He has a Glasgow coma score of 12. I cannot seem to get any meaningful information from the hospital. He is mostly unresponsive. Has barely opened his eyes. Did have a good period yesterday of squeezing my hand on command and giving thumbs up. He is constantly holding his head and moaning. They suspect swelling in the brain.

What's going to happen? Why won't he wake up? I have to ring ITU 10 times a day just to get the most basic updates and I just want to know what is going to happen to him. Please help me :(

FWIW, my mum had a huge stroke back in 2011 and was thought to be close enough to death that the priest came and gave her the last rites and for about 2 weeks after that, though she got a bit better, we thought she'd never live independently again. One month after that, she was discharged home and lived until covid got her in 2020. It's amazing what the brain can do, so I wish you the very best of luck and a similar recovery for him.

I'm sorry to hear of other people's experiences.

I'm completely lost without him. I just forget for a split second why I feel so bad and I go to message him and then remember.

Sending your DH, you and your family all the best OP xx

I hope he has a good night OP and you manage to get some sleep.

My husband had a life changing stroke 14 months ago, he lost cognition due to it. I was terrified he wouldn't know who I was when I went to visit him but he did, he couldn't remember that I had visited mind you. When I spoke to him about his DD and his brothers and sister he just shook his head blankly but when he saw them he knew them.

Send him those messages. I used to message DH when he was in hospital and I still do now even though his cancer killed him almost a year ago. You are in an awful place right now, I remember how lonely and scary it was. I hope the weekend brings better news for you all.

Oh bloodywhitecat I'm sorry 😞

I mean this kindly
if they have told you to "mentally prepare" then they should allow you more time.

Op my dad suffered a life changing severe stroke.
the fact that your dp has any consciousness at all and managed to squeeze your hand is encouraging.
But he really, really, really needs to rest if he's going to recover. He'll likely be sedated and that's to help him. Try not to worry about him being trapped or alone - he'll be exhausted and having a nice sleep most of the time whilst his brain begins to repair x

ICU are strict about visiting until / unless the patient moves to end of life care. So, and sorry to sound so brutal, the fact they won’t let you in outside normal hours might be a good sign.

Thinking of you.

@PurplePineapple1 to wait is torture but that unfortunately is what you must do.
Try to think that this is a marathon not a sprint.
Conserving your mental strength is vital
I am so sorry that you’re going through this.
Many many times I nursed people where it was very uncertain whether they would make it through the night.
Remember the brain is an extraordinary entity
And yes the visiting restrictions are hard but they are there to allow maximum rest for your dh
Sending you strength x

My mum was in a similar situation. I think they worry alot about post operative delirium if the patient doesn’t come around within the first couple of days. We were urged to keep talking and playing music when we were there, just to try and rouse her. We did lots of foot tins and hand massages as well with some impact.

I know what it’s like waiting for the odd hand squeeze. and I know how desperate you feel. I hope he turns the corner soon, I have every sympathy for you x

I’m not saying your husband has post op delirium of course, I know i went off tangent there. My mum had open heart surgery and never really woke up. But her heart was in much much worse shape than they expected. I looked at the Glasgow coma scale just now and estimate that she was 3-5 most of the time.

You know, all you can go on is how they advise you: keep asking questions and keep the faith too. I found that consultants don’t seem to agree all the time and found all the varying opinions really stressful.

remember that he might be able to hear you if nothing else - keep talking ❤️

Great advice from the nurse upthread. The brain needs to recover now so that’ll be why they’re limiting the visiting hours. If he’s responding at all, it’s positive news. But it’s going to be slow progress.
To give you an idea of timelines, my dad was on the acute stroke ward for 2 weeks and then moved to a type of step-down ward where he could do rehab like physio, speech , OT etc.
It’s a long journey - take care of yourself too.

No news this morning which I assume is good as that means no change. I've rung intensive care but nobody answered. They're probably busy with morning routine.

I'm counting down the hours. I'll hang onto this weekend being critical to get through and count down every single hour.

@PurplePineapple1 thinking of you and continuing to send you strength. No message from ITU is a positive thing. I hope when you see your dh later that you feel comforted. Look after yourself x

Thank you 🥲

I am so fixated on getting him through this weekend. Trying not to have false hope but we're 4 days post operation/stroke now and he's still stable so surely that's good.

@PurplePineapple1 in my ( over twenty years experience in neuro ) yes it is. Of course I’m not privy to your husbands specific information nor should I be. But stability at this stage is good.
Early days early days and it’s a marathon not a sprint as you know.
Thinking of you both
Sending care and strength x

Thank you. I can't tell you how much it helps xx

@PurplePineapple1 I wish I could do something concrete.
I am thinking of you both. Your strength is admirable.
I will keep sending you both good vibes x

I feel like today has been positive but I might be clutching at straws. My sister came to visit him today. They have a really silly constant banter/taking the piss style relationship. She walked in and spoke to him in the way she would normally, she said "oh here he is the dickhead, causing a scene as per". He gave her the middle finger and then made a shush gesture that they do to each other (the ssshhhh thing that Ross from Friends does). The nurse was really pleased and said it was a big thing that not only did he know who she was but that he had known the type of relationship they had to have been able to do that.

His brother also made a joke today about how my husband was going grey and was starting looking like their dad, and he gave him the middle finger too.

@PurplePineapple1 I’m with the nurse on this it’s a good sign
The key is balance enough stimulation and interaction for your dh but also v important that he rests
Keep going and keep taking care of yourself you’re doing great
And so is your dh x

Just through the thread and delighted to hear your most recent updates.

All rooting for you.

This IS a good sign!
I knew my dad was “in there” when he seemed to smile broadly when we told a story of one of the grandkids fancying someone.
That said, it’s still a long road but there’s hope to be found. Much hugs. xxx

He responded to touch on his left leg as well. His left arm is for all intents and purposes dead at the moment but we can work with that. He responded 3 separate times to pain stimulation and tickling on his left foot and leg.