To not want to fly to Australia?

[Reluctantflyer]

Our DC is working in Australia for a couple of years, and DH is understandably very keen to visit.
I'd absolutely love to spend time with our wonderful DC and miss them like crazy, but am feeling quite stressed by the prospect of:

A long long flight when I really don't like flying (had bad experience with plane being struck by lightning a few years ago). I've never flown for longer than 5 hours.

Being cramped on an airplane - I can't sleep at the best of times and can get quite anxious in crowded places. A bed would be amazing but business class is £5000+ per seat!

Snakes, jellyfish, crocodiles and dengue fever etc.
Heat and sun- I can't go out in the sun due to previous skin cancer.

The cost- DH thinks there is no point going for less than 3 weeks. We usually go on holiday for a week in Europe so this would be eye-watering by comparison.

Can anyone talk me down from not really wanting to go?
I'm assuming that flying is the only way to go - we can both take 3 weeks off work if needed.

I know I sound like a right curmudgeon, but it was never on my list of places I would otherwise go or spend our limited savings on. I like Scandinavia....

Any tips for making the journey and the trip less awful?

We book Singapore airlines (who are very good) with a 8-12 hour gap between the flights at Changi. The transit hotels are airside so no need to clear customs, collect your luggage etc. One of them even has a pool!

Good advice.

Last time we scarcely had enough time to rush from one flight to another which was quite stressful.

Snakes, jellyfish, crocodiles and dengue fever etc.
Heat and sun- I can't go out in the sun due to previous skin cancer.

Don't worry about these @Reluctantflyer - most Australian live in suburbia. You might meet a redback [spider] but it's pretty easy to avoid all hazardous poisonous animals in Australia. There are some sensible things you can do (always bash your shoes on the wall before putting them on, for example). But really, 95% of Australians have never seen these things either (they pretend they have but it's bollocks). Think American urban sprawl.

Heat & sun - wear a hat, wear 50+ SPF sun block, wear a light white long sleeved short when you're outside. If you go in the Australian summer, go in November or February - avoid December & ESPECIALLY January. January is the hell month (I use to spend as many Januarys as possible in Scotland).

But if you go for three weeks in July, the sun is weak & low, and easily avoided. Be aware that Australians don't heat their houses efficiently in winter, because it never gets really cold enough (we had gas heaters in our sitting & dining rooms, but nothing else really, but this was Sydney which only really goes as low as 8 degrees). I found that all the thermals I wore in the Australian winter I really don't need here.

Not dumb, it depends where you go, of course!

But as I said, they're not all sitting waiting for the OP.

But really, 95% of Australians have never seen these things either (they pretend they have but it's bollocks)

Well, I have, as I say, it depends where you go.

But yes, most Australians have never been bitten by a snake, or encountered jellyfish or crocodiles in the wild.

Also, most Aussies are incredibly sunsmart - we all avoid it the sun! It's all about sunscreen, swimshirts, hats, shade.

@Nosecan Sorry to hear that! Of course, no one take my unsolicited, unqualified advice 😬

Pay for premium economy rather than business and go in their spring or autumn when it's not so hot. Have a stop off in Singapore, it's hot but very clean and comfortable. You could come back via the US.

As for the wildlife, Western Australia isn't so bad for things that want to kill you :) It depends where you want to go. I would be a bit of a wimp about going to the Outback but the cities are fine.

Well, I have, as I say, it depends where you go.

Fair point @Butwhybecause I had an unusual adolescence in Australia. When we went out there, my parents bought a whole lot of uncleared bush in a semi-rural area on the edge of suburbia, so I spent quite a lot of my adolescence in the bush, and saw my fair share of redbacks & red-bellied black snakes. I could ride (my horses) up to 2 hours away from home and avoid built up areas. Never seen a trapdoor or a crocodile. But the school I went to was pure Australian suburbia - which is why I fled to Sydney! (missed the riding though)

I do remember when we camped out by Broken Hill, we saw scorpions near our shoes, and kangaroos at dusk in the Warrumbungles. But you just exercise common sense, @Reluctantflyer and you'll be OK.

Well, I have but these incidences are so rare they are not worth getting worried about. It's retaining a sense of proportion that is important

It's more likely someone could have a car accident on the way to Heathrow - does that put people off flying?
No.

All of you meet up in the middle somewhere. That's a fair compromise no?

Oman is rumoured to be fabulous!

Was this in person or a video online?
I need some help with flying.

This

24 hours agree a nightmare. 4 is plenty for us.

You could look into going during our summer, could be a lot cheaper and you’d get to see your DB

just send your DH then

If you really don't want to travel to Australia, then perhaps you would consider giving your DC money to fly back instead. I assume you want to see them! It is a very long flight if you hate flying and not particularly more interesting/enjoyable than other destinations that are easier to get to. I think some of your fears about snakes and crocodiles are unjustified though. It depends where you go! Presumably paying for your DC to return would be much cheaper as they could stay with you.

It's up to you obviously but personally I can't imagine wanting to see my DC not outweighing all these things. One bad night sleep on the plane is surely nothing and if you can fly 5 hours, you can fly more.

The cost is a perfectly valid concern if it isn't affordable. Would it not be possible to stay with your DC?

Get some Valium from the doctors. Of course you need to get on that plane.

I would happily pay for DC to come back for a visit but I don't think she'd get enough time off work in one block and DH is keen to make the trip.

I was having a major wobble this morning but as PPs have said, being able to spend time with DC far outweighs the negatives and DH really wants us to go. I'll tell him tonight that we're on for the trip and start exploring options. DD is quite a bit north of Brisbane, but not as far up as Cairns. There are palm trees.

I really appreciate your various suggestions. Although it's tempting to meet in a country halfway somewhere, it will be lovely to see where DC lives, her friends etc. The PPs that pointed out the hurt caused to them or their partners when parents didn't want to make a trip to see them made me think I must just suck up the negatives. I would hate DC to think we didn't care enough.

I'm sure Australia is an amazing country, I'm just a bit of a wuss. I nearly stepped on an adder that was sleeping in the sun in Cornwall last summer and had a close encounter with a scorpion in the middle east years ago so am probably over-sensitive about 'dangerous' wildlife. Wasps are bad enough!

Well to be fair, your chances of experiencing some local wildlife are higher in Far North Queensland. But it's fairly easy to avoid actual harm. E.g. don't swim in a croc infested river.

You'll unfortunately also probably see the worst of Australia's sexism and racism if it's somewhere like Townsville or Rockhampton.

Fly one of the airlines based in SE Asia, avoid the Dubai stopover route unless you are headed to Perth. I would also add 2 nights on the way out somewhere different you and DH could see together that you might find inspiring - won't add much in terms of cost overall - Hong Kong? Singapore is easy, if a little bland. Failing that, go for the airport hotel and pool at singapore airport to help you feel human (there's a flight option with 6 hour stopover, if you don't want to stay overnight - plenty of time for a swim and shower)

Glad you decided to go.

I live in Australia and it's been hurtful how difficult it is to get visitors even if I pay their way.

They must be insane! I'd jump at the chance to go back, especially if someone else was paying!

emptythelitterbox I saw a hypnotherapist in person. It was a very relaxing process. I think you need to make sure that you feel confident of the therapist and like the sound of their voice. I tried some online hypnotherapy and the bloke was Scottish. I don't mind Scottish accents but I just didn't gell with him.

@emptythelitterbox I'll come and see you if you pay my way!

Are these absurdities about crocodiles etc a regular event here? They keep popping up!

Mildly amused to the reference early on to Australia “hosting” dangerous critters. Actually, they are the hosts, and they get a lot of uninvited guests But they are gracious hosts and generally don’t bother their guests if their guests are similarly gracious, well-mannered and exercise common sense.

Is there some kind of parallel universe where “Australian” jellyfish are leaping from the ocean to mug innocent tourists and graze on small children? Have they made their way inland like triffids? If water-based things bother you, don’t go to the beach, it’s not compulsory.

Have always wanted to visit the UK. Covid and then a family member’s health concerns have put a kink in our plans, but we’ll get there one day. Meanwhile, I make sure to watch Disney’s Mary Poppins regularly, so as to be totally familiar with the culture and environment when I get there. (Probably every bit as realistic as making judgements based on some threads here)

Seriously though, I understand your long-haul flight concerns and appreciate the advice given by experienced posters re that issue.