Alcohol free since Christmas after years of over drinking ... sustainable without support?

[illraiseyoutwo]

Long story short to prevent a drip feed.. I've always been well able to drink alcohol as I don't get hangovers , it gives me a temporary release from stress and life generally and It boosts my confidence.
Over the past three years, I began drinking more after the breakdown of my marriage and my exh leaving us for another woman. Two of our kids have special needs and he has no interest and interaction with them anymore.
I work full time on a highly pressurised environment and when I'm not working I'm with my children.
Wine gave me a much needed stress release.

What happened though at the beginning of covid, which coincided with husband leaving us that I started to drink a bottle to 1.5 bottles per night for five nights per week.
I felt tired and unhealthy and guilt and shame. I always got up first thing in the morning and did what needed doing. Our finances didn't suffer and neither did my work. I just felt sluggish.
I got the flu around Christmastime and was sick for a week. I was in bed mostly. To cut a long story short, I haven't had any alcohol since then apart from some wine last Saturday night.

I am having early nights and trying to get my sleep back on track as I'm a poor natural sleeper generally( another reason I drank)
I'm really looking after myself with hydration, I gave up smoking six months ago ( but I vape now and again) skincare and meditation. I've recently got out of a low level emotionally abusive relationship so I'm trying to be a better mother / person and trying to put myself first.
It has always been the kids, work, everyone else and then me.
My physical and mental health suffered for it . I'm dealing with that now.

I have no great inclination to drink since I got sick. I hate the toxic feeling in my body after drink not always loved the escape it gave me... just for that one night.
I have found that when I feel any sadness or stress since Christmas, that I sit with it and have a cry or a moment and wait it out. I've cried a lot .
Do you think it's possible to go back to having drinks one evening per week or when out for dinner or for an extra casino, based on what I've typed here, without support ??? AIBU to think I can do this all on my own ? Thanks. Hope it didn't bore you

• extra casino= occasion !!

Hello. Well done. Sorry about your arsehole ex. Join us on the dry January thread if it might help. It sounds like 2 nights a week you didn't drink and you've done well to stop so far so I'm sure you can keep going. What's helping me (I'm doing dry Jan then will try moderating, only drinking at weekends but it may be that I decide I need to stop altogether, I'm not sure) is having a stack of books to read, taking to my bed fairly early and I'm also intending on reading some Quit Lit. Good luck.

Hi. I wasn't an alcoholic but abused alcohol/binge drank frequently. I had a hideous hangover of New Years Day 2019. I thought, this has got to stop. I vomited until 7pm that night and I just wanted to Be able to drink moderately and not be such a slave it.

Having been so sickened on New Years Day, it was a few months before I could drink again. Every time I drank, I could only stomach one or two. I would get sick after very little, or feel somehow off the next day even if I'd just had a glass. It started to dawn on me that alcohol was a total false friend. It pretends to love you but stabs you in the back every single time. If alcohol was a friend, you would stop hanging out with them. If it was your boyfriend, you would dump him. The relationship between the drinker and the drink can feel so abusive and like slavery. It dawned on me that I had been compromising my lifestyle, my health, my happiness, everything...for a poison. Once my mindset shifted, everything happened pretty quickly.

I stopped drinking totally. I cannot believe I spent over 2 decades of polluting my body with so many toxins. I absolutely love love love not drinking, which I never thought was possible, and I never miss it, which I also never envisaged. One of the best things I ever did and it was easier than I could have ever imagined.

4 years of being clear headed, not making a show of myself, and feeling in great health!

I ❤ being teetotal and once I embraced sobriety for the freedom it really was, it was very easy to walk away from alcohol.

Thanks for those encouraging words .
I like the idea of thinking that it was never my friend, an enemy perhaps?
It allowed me to bury pain for a while.
I can't say theyre it delayed healing but alcohol certainly for me through loneliness and tough times.
I enjoy the buzz and the social occasion it enhances, for me, when I do t overdo it but the amount o was drinking was certainly escalating . I feel a little better already and dont look as haggard.
When should I see physical
Changes in my face and body and what changes should I expect health wise and physically?

Enemy is a good word to describe alcohol, I think. It gets us through certain things but I think there is almost always some kind of cost, even if the trade off isn't discernible on the surface.

I enjoyed the social buzz, believe me! Oh my gosh, I loved becoming animated and loosening up and was always the life and soul of the party. I loved when that first buzz hit, the laughter, the silliness, then the deep and meaningful, bonding chats. When I stopped drinking, I had to look at my true self in the mirror and get to like who I was without it. I dont tend to go to social events where everyone will be drunk anymore, as my default, solid, stable baseline emotions and behaviour as on a different level and it can be draining if I stay too long. That doesn't mean I can't be around people who drink, but I don't have the stamina to keep dancing/socialising/chatting to people until 3am.

Around the time I stopped drinking, I also felt drawn to examine my spiritual health as well, as so the two events coincided. As my drinking stopped, I found a deep reserve of strength, courage and meaning being revealed in more profound areas of my life, which also made alcohol easy to walk away from.

For me the immediate physical effects were the obvious lack of hangovers, but also having a constant, stable sense of mental clarity and contentness. I think I generally look fresh and healthy and many people say I look younger than my age (40) but that's not for me to say if it's true or not. My husband gave up alcohol for a month and said he slept worse than ever and felt exhausted the whole time. He didn't pursue it, so I can only imagine that it's different for everyone.

However, I imagine that you should start seeing/feeling a difference pretty quickly and will notice new patterns in your life, like you are more productive than before. I used to get a puffy face and red nose a lot, as well as sinus problems and that has all gone.

I've been in a similar position to you, on my own with SEN kids and an abusive ex, pressured job etc.

I went AF 2 years ago and it's the best thing I've done. I also sit with my feelings now, I sleep better and I'm way less anxious.

I find some sober insta accounts helpful and quit lit is great, however I feel that the switch has flipped and I genuinely don't miss or crave alcohol so its not an effort or a conscious choice to not drink any more, its just who I am now.

You definitely can do it, keep going!