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Original poster

To feel smug at my sexist FIL

16 replies

WavingAWhiteHankie · 12/01/2023 02:17

My FIL is so sexist, although doesn't realise he is!

Every time we leave their house, and I'm driving, he comes out and stands behind my car giving me hand signals and calling out things like "back a bit, turn the wheel to the right, stop"!

It sends me crazy! I've been driving for years, am a very confident driver and never had an accident. I don't want his help!

When we went to see him recently he had a big dent in the back of his car. He never mentioned it but I had great pleasure in asking what had happened. He went very quiet but my MIL said he'd reversed into a post!

OP posts:
beanphone · 12/01/2023 02:29

Why don't you say something?
Quick and witty if possible; it'll knock him off his feet. If he's sexist he will be totally caught off guard at a strong, confident and clever woman 'gubbing' him as we'd say.

Original poster
WavingAWhiteHankie · 12/01/2023 02:38

Oh I have said things and it goes in one ear and out the other.

I generally try to do the opposite to what he says, and then pull away at speed (safely)!

OP posts:
avamiah · 12/01/2023 02:40

How old is he ?

StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 12/01/2023 02:42

WavingAWhiteHankie · 12/01/2023 02:38

Oh I have said things and it goes in one ear and out the other.

I generally try to do the opposite to what he says, and then pull away at speed (safely)!

You can have some fun with him next time he tries to give you hand signals though.

My ex, who fancied himself as the best driver ever, once backed my car (which has reversing sensors) straight into an enormous tree that was the only obstacle within a huge area. In front of LOADS of people. I was torn between being upset about my car and hugely entertained at his embarrassment.

CheesyCrumpet · 12/01/2023 02:46

My dad, while not sexist, is the same, even with my brothers.
It's even worse when he's a passenger. It goes something like....
Put your seatbelt on, is it clicked in? Are you sure?
Right, you need to be in first gear.
Did you check your mirrors?
Why didn't you indicate?
Slow down, you'll have the bobbies after you.

At this point, I'm still on the bloody driveway!
Worse is, he doesn't even drive. Never has, never will.

Dowhahdiddy · 12/01/2023 03:02

Yes enjoy being smug. My own FIL can be a bit of a prick too so I know where you’re coming from. Been with my DH for 22 years, it took FIL 15 years for him to stop calling me by my DH’s ex gf’s name. A gf he went out with for 2 years during high school. DH was 28 when we met. He was absolutely doing it on purpose.

Ohdofuckofdear · 12/01/2023 03:06

Oh I'd loved to have seen your face OP when your MIL was telling you,my face would have been like this 😁.

Serves him bloody right!

Original poster
WavingAWhiteHankie · 12/01/2023 03:11

Next time he does it I will definitely say something along the lines of "I can't trust you after you reversed into a post". I'll have a charming smile on my face at the same time!

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 12/01/2023 03:13

I ALWAYS tell men like that “Can you get out of my way please? I don’t need your help and you’re very distracting.”

EllieM27 · 12/01/2023 03:31

Fraaahnces · 12/01/2023 03:13

I ALWAYS tell men like that “Can you get out of my way please? I don’t need your help and you’re very distracting.”

This is very effective, I’ve used it a few times in different situations where men were distracting me by trying to boss me around.

When I was younger my brother used to constantly give me instructions in a very condescending and pompous tone if he rode with me somewhere, which was a bit rich since he had wrecked three or four cars at that point. Since we’re siblings I’d just say “Time for the backseat driver to shut up before he causes an accident!” Grin

DifficultBloodyWoman · 12/01/2023 03:42

Next time, can you reverse into their driveway?

Alleycat1 · 12/01/2023 06:27

You have been handed a gift! Next time he visits shout out instructions to him, OP. Oh, the satisfaction!

KrisAkabusi · 12/01/2023 07:38

This isn't the win you think it is. He probably reversed into something because he didn't have somebody guiding him from outside. He's more likely to do it now because he's more aware of the consequences!

Springtoautumn · 12/01/2023 07:52

What an idiot! My FIL is a BAD driver but takes delight in telling me to drive carefully. I’ve been driving over 25 years, very few incidents in that time, whereas he’s totaled at least two cars and drives at 37 mph in all speed zones 🤯

Mala1992 · 30/05/2023 19:35

My FIL used to refer to our car as ‘your daddy’s car when talking to DC which I found aggravating and sexist, especially as we both drove any car we ever had, and even when we had 2 we both drove each of them. He didn’t do it that often so I let it go.

What pissed me off even more was how he had a say in all my MIL’s financial affairs after their divorce. He did this with BIL - who passed him info. Luckily DH would not have any part in enabling FIL to do this. She was older than him and worked in finance in the city before they even met.

He seemed to think the good settlement he offered (after his very long affair) somehow made him benevolent and her some kind of old dowager with no agency. Grrrr

FictionalCharacter · 30/05/2023 23:12

WavingAWhiteHankie · 12/01/2023 03:11

Next time he does it I will definitely say something along the lines of "I can't trust you after you reversed into a post". I'll have a charming smile on my face at the same time!

Oh definitely do that! I’d be getting “the time you reversed into a post” into the conversation for ever more. Together with the fact that I, myself, have never reversed into a post 😁

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