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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if people who like WFH all live in big houses

276 replies

redskydelight · 11/01/2023 21:39

As per title really.
3 of us who could work at home and DD studying for A Levels.

We have a 4 bedroom house so should be ample for our needs, but the (modern, small) rooms simply weren't designed to accommodate so many separate work spaces as well as space to eat, sleep, relax etc. We're all now choosing to work/study more and more out of the house because of being on top of each other at home.

I really don't know why so many people rave about wfh. I can only assume they must have big houses and therefore don't have to put in place timeshare arrangements for use of the dining table.

OP posts:
PeppermintChoc · 12/01/2023 09:58

I like it when I’m home alone, kids in nursery and DH at work. If DH is also WFH I go into the office. We have an office which is set up and has a docking station but I hate working in an adhoc space.

MaryMcCarthy · 12/01/2023 09:59

I live in a relatively small flat and WFH has been the best thing to happen for my work life balance and mental health.

I'd rather spend 4 days a week here than 5 days in the office, spending the best part of two hours a day in the car. It's wonderful!

HelenHywater · 12/01/2023 10:08

I don't think it's the size of the house that's the key issue, it's the number of people who would be around during the day. I work in the kitchen or dining room in my (Victorian terraced house) so don't have a dedicated office - all bedrooms are occupied and I don't have any money to build an office in the garden (although I'd love to). But no one is here during the day, so it's quiet and I'm uninterrupted (apart from by my own distractions, like MN).

I couldn't work in a house full of my family in the kitchen because they'd just interrupt me the whole time, but luckily they're all at school during the day. In school holidays I need to go into the office most afternoons (they're all teenagers and sleep all morning then).

stayathomer · 12/01/2023 10:13

None of my friends that wfh live in big houses but the difference is they do all have eg parks nearby and coffee shops they love to visit on their breaks. One has a particularly tiny work space but she’s very positive about it as she shares it with the love of her life- her cat!!!! All of them are thrilled with wfh but most are in 2/3 days a week now and only wfh the other 2 and are gutted!

SpongeBabeSquarePants · 12/01/2023 10:26

Single parent here.

Tiny flat, I basically spend all my waking hours in one room.

Love wfh however as the panic drive to and from childcare everyday was a nightmare. No office politics and I see more of my children now.

Quality of life and productivity is a lot better. I wasted a lot of time and money working 9-5 in an office and it was more stressful.

Ginmonkeyagain · 12/01/2023 10:30

How do you avoid office politics by WFH - I assume they still happen? Unless by office politics you mean arguments over milk.

MaverickGooseGoose · 12/01/2023 10:31

Don't have a huge house by any means but I do have a dedicated office space in the spare bedroom and have a full office desk set up, dual monitors, desk, chair etc. I WFH before lockdown so nothing changed for me.

It was a nightmare in lockdown with DH working in our bedroom and DTs on the dining table.

MaryMcCarthy · 12/01/2023 10:35

Ginmonkeyagain · 12/01/2023 10:30

How do you avoid office politics by WFH - I assume they still happen? Unless by office politics you mean arguments over milk.

I found the more time people spent together, the more idle time was spent on inane chats and gossip and the greater then chance for someone or other to be upset for some trivial reason. If you're only physically working together when necessary then you cut out much of the trivial nonsense.

Obviously we don't choose our workmates (unless we're doing the hiring) so the idea that you'd want to spend so much time with random strangers baffles me.

Ginmonkeyagain · 12/01/2023 10:41

ahh ok. Generally I like people I suppose and what we have in common is our work and desire to make a different/do a good job. Bar the odd dickhead I am happy to pass the time with the people I work with and have over the course of my career developed some really good and lasting friendships with people I have worked with.

I mean everyone is a random stranger until you get to know them aren't they? We don't choose the people we go to school or university with or people at various hobby groups, but we do tend to find like minded people and develop friendships - whether superficial or long lasting - work is no different.

ImBlueDab · 12/01/2023 10:42

I've worked from home for the past 10 years, my team do too, there are far less office politics then when I worked in an office. Less chance of inane gossip, which tends to lead to politics

maddy68 · 12/01/2023 10:45

3 of us working from home in a three bed apartment

JusteanBiscuits · 12/01/2023 10:48

Our house is MUCH smaller than is practical for working from home. But coming up to three years on, we make it work! We no longer have a dining table to have meals on (the table is my office!), and husband and I know WAY more about each others jobs and colleagues than we ever have done before. But no commute is such heaven that we manage!

Crikeyalmighty · 12/01/2023 10:49

@missingeu And I think this aspect is underestimated. My H has worked from home for 22 years but we've always had quite big houses (rented) but even then with his own dedicated space stuff related to work creeps into the lounge and is piled up on the coffee table because the lounge is a 'nicer ' place to work, especially in winter. I went over to my friends and her lounge feels part lounge and part office - she says just 'seeing' work stuff around makes her feel not properly relaxed. It's a really individual thing based on what point you are in life, space, family situation and yes relationships too. Anyone having a tough time with a partner really doesn't usually want to be around them 24/7 -

jay55 · 12/01/2023 10:53

I live in a one bed flat, but it's just me so more than big enough.
I'd have gone spare working from home more than one day a week when I lived in a house share.

shockedballoon · 12/01/2023 10:54

Standard 3 bed semi here, with a dining kitchen extension. Works great for us. I work hybrid style 3 days a week, mostly at home. DH will work maybe 1 day a week at home depending. We have 1 DS, now age 13, but during lockdown he worked at dining table, I worked in the spare bedroom (have a desk specifically set up) and DH would either work in the front room or our bedroom.

Love that wfh is now more widely acceptable. I get so much more done, can concentrate better etc, though I do find it useful to do the occasional day in the office - whilst we all use MS Teams a lot, theres something easier about doing a post visit debrief/offload & getting some peer support in person (I have a community job).

Ginmonkeyagain · 12/01/2023 10:57

@Crikeyalmighty I tend to creep in to the living room rather than the spare room when I work as it is warmer and more congenial (and the wifi signal is better).

I always ensure everything work related is packed away at the end of the day. Although I work very "light" from home - just a wireless mouse, a surface pro and headphones, so they are slipped in to a bag at the end of the day and stored in the hall cupboard.

One of the things I could not bear about lockdown was the feeling I was living at work not working from home.

BeatlejuiceBeatlejuiceBeatlejuice · 12/01/2023 11:01

I’ve asked to remain wfh permanently. I love it, and my husband does hybrid working. We have a tiny 2 bed terrace and 2 small children.

I work on the dining table and my husband has a pack away desk in the boys room.

I don’t think space is an issue, you make it work because you want it to work.

BabyFour2023 · 12/01/2023 11:03

Cuppasoupmonster · 11/01/2023 21:43

I think people who loved the lockdowns generally lived in big houses and had a certain lifestyle which meant being cooped up 24/7 wasn’t unpleasant. That or social anxiety.

I agree with this. We have a large garden and a spacious home so lockdown for us wasnt as bad as people who didn’t have much space. There’s no fun in being locked down when you’re all living out of 1 reception room with no outdoor space.

TheGoogleMum · 12/01/2023 11:10

3 bed house, 1 of which is an office room. We find it a pain when 2 of us work from home at once but for 1 person it's completely fine.
Do you need all 4 bedrooms to be bedrooms? An office room makes a big difference!

FlemCandango · 12/01/2023 11:14

I am working from my bedroom as it can fit a desk and chair.

Dh has an office downstairs

We have a big house but downstairs is mainly open-plan so bedroom is more suitable as I deal with confidential information. It suits us. I go into office for big meetings but not more than a few times a year.

TheGoogleMum · 12/01/2023 11:18

redskydelight · 12/01/2023 08:52

Yes, I think this is actually the problem. And I'd add size of rooms. Ours are very small.

The poster who said if you have a bedroom you have a place to work .. our bedroom contains a bed, 2 chests of drawers, a built in wardrobe and just about enough space to walk round. The only way to work in there would be to sit on the bed with a small fold up desk rammed against the chest of drawers (and even then you'd have to climb over the bed to get in/out, which isn't really a sustainable long term practice.

We have 4 of us potentially working at home. I suspect this isn't that unusual if you have older/young adult children?

There is one space downstairs which we've made into a permanent office space.

We also use the dining table as a workspace.
DD's room is too small for a desk, so she uses a desk in the 4th bedroom which is even smaller (so wouldn't fit a 2nd desk). DS can fit a desk in his room, but he spends enough time in his room as it is and I don't think it's a great idea for him to spend most of the day living/sleeping/working in the same small space.

So we have 3 work spaces and 4 people, and one of the workspaces has to be constantly set up/down.

I guess it doesn't help that we all have jobs where you genuinely need monitors so we need a decent sized desk; it takes time to switch the workspace over from one person's configuration to another's so we try not to do it too often; and we all have jobs that involve lots of teleconferences so can constantly hear each other. DH trains as part of his job, and DS and I both reckon we can now present his training courses as we've heard them so many times!

Judging by the responses most people love the lack of commute so much that they don't care about their home work space; are the only one at home and/or have enough space for dedicated work areas.

I do wonder if my problem will become more common if wfh persists, particularly with more and more young people unable to move out due to cost.

Show quote history

What do you use the 4th bedroom for? One for you, one for DD one for DS.... one left

AllIWantIsHelp · 12/01/2023 11:20

Just like Aladdin's genie I live in an itty bitty teeny tiny living space. Much prefer WFH

Jelly0naplate · 12/01/2023 11:24

5 bed semi - husband has the box room and i have a desk in the spare room - we couldn't share a room to work in as it would be too disruptive to us both. He is WFH full time and I'm hybrid with 2 days from home.

what is annoying is if i have a day off (i get more leave) then i never get the house to myself as he's always here!

Original poster
redskydelight · 12/01/2023 11:27

What do you use the 4th bedroom for? One for you, one for DD one for DS.... one left

I find it somewhat ironic that you asked this question after quoting the post where I told you what we used the 4th bedroom for ....

It has a desk in it. (No room for 2)

OP posts:
SunshineBoy · 12/01/2023 11:27

I work from home and love it

small 2 bed house with my desk in the lounge. But it is just DS and I. He is at school most of the time and disappears to his room when he gets home for some gaming / downtime until I finish at 5.

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