To feel such a failure

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I don’t even know where to post this
I feed so down and such a failure I hope I’m being unreasonable
I have a newborn baby only a month ago
baby is good
I am not
I feel like I’m failing and I’m suffering from anxiety and depression and I’m now not able to sleep I have started to panic when dropping off this is adding onto my feelings
Of failure
I have made a drs appointment - but I am breast feeding so unsure if I can take sleeping pills I know they will be unwilling to prescribe anything
and I’m going to book some Cbt appointments for the next week
is there anyone else here that has ever felt this way? and has there been anything that you have done or taken? to combat and beat it?
i feel so helpless and doomed and so so worried that if I can’t even do something as simple switch off and sleep then how will I cope or even survive and be able to look after my baby who deserves so much more?

Well done for taking the first steps and making a doctor’s appointment.
Id contact your HV for support too.

Hi, sorry, I don't know about breastfeeding, but you don't sound like a failure to me in any way shape or form at all? It sounds to me like your overwhelmed which is understandable having to suddenly be in charge of another human and make sure they are ok all the time! You sound like you're doing great and I really think you need to stop giving yourself such a hard time.

Oh bless you, it's ok. Honestly you've done the hardest part - you've acknowledged that these feelings aren't you and aren't good and you've contacted a doctor. It's all the easy bit from now.

This is so normal and so common - so many women feel this way. It's ok. It's such a crazy time - we've (almost) all been there and experienced it and know the craziness. Breastfeeding is tough too. I'm expressing because DD is at nursery now but still EBF and so I need about a litre to give them in reserve. A few hours ago my dog jumped up, knocked the jug over and drank a litre of breast milk! I feel the stress! But it's ok.

Don't overthink it. Your baby loves you, and your baby will love you whether you sleep or not, whether you're worried or not, whether you're sad or not. Stop putting any pressure on yourself - there's no need.

I'm no expert so I can't offer clinical advice and I was very lucky not to experience PND or PNA - but I wish you the best and I feel that imposter syndrome that is permeating your post. Please don't let that feeling win for you, it's not true. Other PP have more experience and expertise than I do.

Oh lovely. So sorry you are struggling. It’s good that you have recognised you are in need of help and have made an appointment.
There is help available and there is a link to support groups on here, it might help to talk to others who have felt the same way.
I hope the Dr is helpful and you are soon feeling in a much better place. Take care of yourself, and congratulations on the birth of your baby
pandasfoundation.org.uk/what-is-pnd/post-natal-depression/