That my diet isn’t unhealthy? (At the moment)

[Bibbeti]

I’m about midway through losing a large amount of weight but am getting a lot of flack for the diet I’m following, so thought I would ask the collective wisdom of mumsnet.

I’ll start by saying that I know this would be a very unhealthy diet for someone who is a healthy weight, or who only had a little to lose. And that I do not intend for this to be my long term diet.

I was severely obese. I am now moderately obese, so still a long way to go.

I am following the eating and exercise plan given to those who have had weight loss surgery. For two months I followed the ‘post surgery diet’ and I am now on the ‘2 months and onwards’ part of the diet.

I’ve tried every diet known to man, this is the only thing that I have been able to stick to for longer than a week. The speed of weight loss and the focus on the quality of the food I’m eating has made me feel much healthier.

The problem is that some people (some family/coworkers), notably those that are quite overweight themselves, won’t stop talking to me about how it must be so unhealthy. That I have developed an eating disorder and need help.

I would even say some of the comments have been quite cruel about how I am obviously suffering from a mental illness and am being a poor role model to my dd. I have been careful not to talk about any form of diet in front of dd (my dm was very focused on it when I was young), we eat the same evening meal when she gets home from school (mine is just portioned differently) and as my mental health is much better, did now loves me coming along to the park/swimming.

Pointing out that it is exactly what I would be eating if I’d had gastric bypass surgery (which is the only option I realistically had left to me at my starting size if I couldn’t get a diet to work) and that this way I get the perks with none of the risks of the surgery, just seems to rile them up more.

For reference, I am still 8 stone over what the nhs would consider a healthy weight. Though many around me are being very supportive, those that are being quite bitchy are making me doubt myself a little.

Dieting always brings out the worst in people so maybe you just need to ignore the comments.

But I presume (although happy to be told otherwise) that those having had surgery might also be taking supplements on top to compensate for lack of nutrients perhaps if the diet is lacking/small so maybe you need to assess whether it is 'healthy' overall but I haven't looked at what a post op diet looks like.

Firstly OP, I won't judge on the actual diet because if it's working for you and no poor side effects then fair play and well done on the weight loss so far.

I would recommend getting yourself health checked though by a doctor as it's worth making sure there aren't any side effects of the diet that you're not seeing right now but may bite you in the ass going forwards.

In terms of the people making these comments, I'd say they're likely falling into two pools of people based on experience.

Those who are shit with words but genuinely care and want to make sure you're ok and not going too far with the diet.

Those who quite frankly hate others trying to better themselves (sorry, not the best words either!) And get snarky if someone is doing something/achieving something that they're not. It could be complimentary comments your getting, the fact that your doing something about the weight or simply just because they don't like seeing others succeed. Stuff them.

So you do you, get checked out to make sure the diet isn't having adverse effects and ignore the haters - they'd have been like this regardless, there's a lot of bitter twats out there.

I am taking the recommended supplements.

I never went so far as to purée my food, but followed the calorie/protein recommendations.

I am currently on around 1000 calories a day (the two months plus amount) which would be unhealthy long term. As I approach a healthy weight I intend to start slowly raising that until I find my personal maintenance amount.

I have been trying to ignore them. But some of the comments have definitely knocked my (very newfound) self confidence.

@Jimboscott0115 thank you.

I had a Medichecks blood test at the start and four month mark. So far so good, no deficiency’s and the improvement in my liver/kidney/cholesterol/inflammation results has been very motivating.

I haven’t seen a gp yet but my asthma nurse was very encouraging.

Can you give a rough idea of what you eat in a day?

Gastric bypass surgery simply forces you (mostly) to eat less so it makes sense that it's working. I would assume it's very low calorie and would be much harder to stick to without your stomach actually being smaller!

First impressions from your OP are that you need a lot of self discipline and the people around you are jealous. It touches a nerve seeing someone lose weight with willpower if they haven't managed it themselves.

A slight caveat to this is that people pile the weight back on when the diet is "over" in their mind and they go back to the eating habits that made them overweight in the first place. If a "diet" can make you slim, then going back to the diet that made you fat, will make you fat again.

They might be wondering how you're going to be able to sustain it, but it sounds like you're in this for the long haul with making permanent changes with good habits and I wish you all the luck with it!

It’s impossible to say if it’s unhealthy with the details in your OP, but I can see you say you eat 1000 calories a day (which is ‘unhealthy’ in itself) what are you having to eat now?

i think the issue i would be concerned about is that it’s unsustainable. Those with a gastric band physically can’t eat that much, however you physically are able to you’re just choosing not to. Unfortunately a lot of people lose the weight in an extreme manner and then can’t stick to it and slip back into old habits - if you’re making healthy food choices now and enjoying your food then it may be easier for your continue

best of luck with your weight loss journey, and ignore your negative friends. They may be coming at it from a good place as they’re concerned but delivering it in the wrong way!

Placemaking for this. I have been on every diet possible too and lost 8lbs now by drastically cutting what I eat each day. Interested to see what you eat as think it is the way to go for me too. Have lots to get off.

Ok great, in which case keep an eye on your health and keep going, sounds like a job well done so far so well done!

I wouldn't get too far into your specific diet here though, largely because other threads have shown me how poor people's knowledge of diet/weight often is.

I had a bit of this when I lost 10 stone using a meal replacement plan. To a lesser extent, as it was during the lockdowns so not many people saw me in real life to start on about it.

I think it’s just their gut reaction that they are overweight and haven’t managed to lose weight. They are projecting your success back onto themselves, and they feel crap as a result. So their immediate reaction is to justify why they haven’t lost weight, and they do that by finding imaginary reasons why your approach is wrong/ dangerous / unhealthy. It makes them feel better.

I used to say “oh that’s strange, all the health professionals I’ve had interaction with have said how well I’m doing this. Do you think they’re wrong?”

They generally then looked awkward and blustered a bit. Let’s face it, they have no idea of whether your diet is healthy, if they themselves are obese.

Ignore them. Sounds like losing weight is the healthier option, even if your method is not 100% nutritionally perfect.

I eat carnivore diet (meat/fish/dairy/eggs) to control my weight and autoimmune disease. I get a lot of comments and judgement.

If I was having a can of Coke and a muffin for breakfast nobody would even notice.

IME everyone thinks they’re a nutritionist 🤨

I think if you were only 1 stone overweight then that would be a pretty radical diet. However when you are 8stone+ overweight different rules apply. The damage the excess weight is doing is huge and a very low calorie diet to drop weight fast is generally recommended. As long as you are taking the supplements and eating a high protein diet then you are good. Perhaps see if you can meet up with a dietitian to plan for increasing calories and finding a healthy maintenance diet as you continue to lose.
congratulations on your loss and your grit in sticking to this!!

Nothing to add that PPs haven't already said but well done and keep going OP!

Hard to know OP if the diet itself is unhealthy. 1000 calories a day is very low. As you point out you are still classed as obese so clearly more weight loss is desirable but as a PP pointed out I think the concern with this is that this diet is not sustainable and at some point you are likely to "fall off the wagon". Are you being medically supervised?

You have clearly lost a lot of weight so it may be worth evolving onto a more sustainable pattern of eating. I do think you probably need some help moving this to a more "normal" way of eating.

In terms of what your coworkers are saying, again it's hard to know. With many of them it may just be old-fashioned jealousy because you've motivated yourself to change and they haven't. I think, though, that some of them may be picking up on the fact that this is probably not a very long-term solution.

Thank you 😊

Sorry, this might be a rushed reply as I’m getting ready to do the school run (another thing I couldn’t physically do before!).

I like to change it up quite a bit as otherwise I get bored, but as an example for today.

Breakfast - I’ll be honest that I don’t always have breakfast, if I do skip it I’ll have a slightly more substantial lunch. But today I’ve had some full fat Greek yoghurt with blueberries and walnuts. Never a very big amount.

Lunch - Today is going to be some homemade miso soup with tofu and stir-fry vegetables (not actually fried, I just add a little water). If it is one of the three days a week that I weightlift at lunch time then I sometimes have a protein shake (protein powder, almond milk, spinach, avocado was what I put in yesterdays)

Dinner - Is usually what the rest of the family are having, but I’ll focus more on the protein/vegetables and a much smaller portion of the carbohydrates (not doing low carb, but prioritise protein/veggies due to the calorie restriction). Tonight is slightly different as dh is making pizza for him and dd so my dinner will be chilli salmon portion with steamed vegetables.

It sounds very healthy and I think you just have to ignore anyone who isn't a medical professional who you are seeing professionally.

Well done - you are doing an amazing thing!

Your diet sounds very healthy and you are doing all the right things like weight lifting etc. And I say that as someone who runs a health business. Well done.

From your first post I assumed you were just eating protein bars and drinking those horrible, highly processed protein shakes!!.

But what you have described eating is very healthy, actually - good nutritious food. Please ignore all those critical of your food consumption. Clearly they know very little about food. Good luck on your journey.