To persuade him to stay.

[LegoFlowers]

Hello Everyone,

Just in some need of advice, I’m feeling pretty guilty right now.

DS13 plays football for a premier league youth academy; he has been with the club for almost 6 years now.

Today; he has decided that he no longer wants to play football, he is very intelligent academically and has decided that he wants to focus more on coding and other subjects.

I am pretty shocked, during his time with the club they’ve released so many other children from his squad, he has also had a lot of other teams interested in him, but has always showed his loyalty to the club.

He was due to go training tonight, I’ve had to call and say that he isn’t feeling too good.

I have tried speaking to him, but he is adamant that doesn’t want to play no more.

Thank you so much.

This sounds perfect! Yes to this

I read somewhere that 13 is the most common age for wanting to drop out of football. My 13 year old has just done it too. Gulp. Not academy level, but still. It is such a shock to the system. Our family identity, always driving off somewhere, every weekend and some week nights busy, standing freezing by a muddy pitch, washing endless skins and boots. Triumphs and defeats. Sometimes MOTM. Then it all just stops and now DS goes on his phone and plays a little more Xbox. As parents we are grieving the loss of this thing we all used to pitch in and make happen. Even tonight we asked him if he wouldn’t be happier if we picked up the phone to his old coach to take him back.

Even more of a shock for you given your DS’s success at academy level.

I guess it is like this for every child that no longer plays violin for the orchestra, drops 5am swimming club or whatever else we have made happen for our kids through encouragement and sacrifice.it is tough when they choose for it to be the end of the road. I feel for you.

People these days don't seem to care about how children need physical exercise. If he is going to code he will be on his chair in front of a pc constantly. The football will do him much good to get exercise in. A lot of kids perpetually in front of a pc will end up depressed.

Also if he was so enthusiastic before and wants to quit out of the blue there is something going on.

You should find out what is going on and talk to him properly and tell him to play out the term at least.

Remember he is becoming a teenager and you need to be his parent not his friend.

“The football will do him much good to get exercise in. A lot of kids perpetually in front of a pc will end up depressed.”

And young people who live a certain way to not disappoint the dreams their parents have, instead of being allowed to choose their own path, also end up depressed and resentful.

@UWhatNow

And young people who live a certain way to not disappoint the dreams their parents have, instead of being allowed to choose their own path, also end up depressed and resentful.

I hope you are not referring to me, with or without football my son will be successful and have everything he wants in life and more.

I will not say this again, but this has got nothing to do with ME, I want what’s best for my child.

He had been with the club for 6 years, through no training he used to play for the local
football league on Saturday and that’s where he was scouted. So many other children dream of playing for premier league academies, I just need to be sure he is making the right decision.

@UWhatNow
What a nasty and offensive thing to say if you're implying this is OP. There's no indication that she wants anything but the best for her son. If she was the type of person you are describing she would hardly be mustering opinion would she?

GM

I have spoken to him this morning, he said that he keeps having the same thought very often.

He feels better today, he also said that it does make him feel happy and honoured that he team mates like and care for him; he missed training yesterday and they messaged him in the group chat to ask if he was ok.

He has agreed to keep playing and see where it takes him, he also said that he feels disappointed in himself that he has the thought to give up.

Now, it’s down to me to do whatever I can to make him feel happy.

I’d be inclined to speak to the coach on the quiet. In my experience they are much more than just a football coach and will help you navigate this.

I'd definitely persuade him to stick with it. YANBU

Ticket to wealth comments sound envious. He could one day grow to regret knowing how few have this opportunity.

He has agreed to keep playing and see where it takes him, he also said that he feels disappointed in himself that he has the thought to give up.

He shouldn’t be disappointed with himself! He sounds like a thoughtful young man and he has just been exploring options in his head. Doing a sport you are passionate about and committed to can sometimes be a pain on individual occasions even if you enjoy it overall.

Don’t forget, he is a teenager, and they can come to odd conclusions and things can sometimes seem very black and white.

Thanks for the update OP. Your DS sounds like a lovely young man from what you say. Maybe he has just got to that stage in his education where school is putting more pressure on them to knuckle down to some serious study. In my experience with my DDs, this is always taken to heart by the more studious, hardworking DC, whereas the target audience are rather less worried! Have a chat to your DS, he may just be feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.

And us. Sometimes you get more into it/sometimes you don’t
maybe they’ve suggested to him that he’ll get dropped though? Or he’s not into it enough.,,

I ask mine to take a month to think about it as they have made a commitment to an activity.

Aw you and your son sound lovely OP. Its good that he has decided to stick with it, but also good that he has other interests and avenues open to him.

I think your problem on this thread was mentioning the Premier league. If you had just said plays football for a club you wouldn't have got the uncalled for pushy parent comments.

If ges that good he'll get picked up again. To me, hes liking football as a hobby ( hence staying at the same club) I s let him make up his own mind, he's 13 but I would say he has to tell the academy he wants to quit ( although I would be there with him as a pare nt)

What do you mean when you say “they’ve” who is “they’ve”

Do you have a child that plays for a premier league academy team?

My son is in a much better place now; he says that he is happy and isn’t feeling as if he wants to quite anymore, as I previously the club are very happy with him.

The envy and jealously towards a 13 year old on this thread is just damn right disgusting.