To end it?

[drbinocs]

I've been seeing a man for a year. He is lovely, kind, makes me laugh.
But our relationship just hasn't progressed from dating. He lives with his parents (he's 31), and I moved back to my parents with my 2 children after my marriage broke down.
I see him for a few hours here or there before he has to be back to do something for his mum, or some other commitment. We've never ever had a night in watching tv at either of our parents homes. We've got hotels for a few hours.
I'm sick of feeling like I'm still a single parent.
AIBU to call it day, when in theory he's done nothing wrong?

If you’re not happy and don’t see it progressing then I would end it.
Have you been to his house and met his parents? Surely they understand when he meets up with you and can give him more than a few hours alone. With him living with them then he could do the helpful thing for his parents another day or even make plans with you at a different time.
It seems almost like he uses them as an excuse to not progress the relationship further.

I already knew his mum but since we've been together I've never been invited round. He also won't put any trace of me on his social media, I tried tagging him once and he deleted it.

That sounds rather unusual - I’m also a single parent, and by a year me and my partner were having days out with my kid, talking about moving in together (and a few months later we did).

If the relationship isn’t progressing, time to chuck him I reckon

You need to have an honest conversation, as he may not understand what you want from the relationship. If you each want different things then it's time to move on.

Sounds more like a FWB.

End if no longer serving you

I mean, you also live with your parents at your big age so…

Is he in a relationship with someone else?

The social media tag delete is a red flag for me after dating for a year, as well as not visiting each other at home, even if that is with parents.

Are you certain he's not in a relationship with someone else?

Sounds like FWB but whatever it is, you don’t need a reason. If you want to end it, end it. The end doesn’t need to be justified.

Well you are still a single parent aren't you. The pair of you have only been dating a year and haven't got a home between you. Are you hoping he's gonna magically whisk you away from everything? You sound resentful that he regularly 'has to do something' for his mum yet you have 2 kids in tow.
If you are ready for a more committed relationship see what he thinks....but ensure you live alone for a bit rather than uprooting your kids and presenting them with a new home and stepdad who they barely know.

I agree it sounds like FWB. Are you hoping it will progress to dating ? I think that’s unlikely after a year , he’s obviously happy with the current set up.

If that’s what you want then fine. If not then end it.

I don’t know what you mean by “ in theory he’s done nothing wrong “ - do you think you are obliged to go on seeing any man who wants to see you unless he has committed a criminal or moral offence ? Who Gets to decide what is wrong ?

You can end it any time you want for any reason.

There's another woman somewhere in this set-up.

Doesn't sound right to me. But in answer to your question, if you're not happy then end it, you don't need a reason. If it isn't working, stop. I bet there's more to it than this, I wouldn't put up with a hotel room for a few hours, feels a bit sordid and not a loving relationship

Are you sure he's not married, rather than living with his folks?

He's not single

Yeah, sounds like he doesn't really live with his mum.

Unless he's Seymour from the Simpsons.