I'm in love with my male friend and it's making me miserable. We are so close, though we see each other infrequently. My friend has a partner and is engaged to her.
Earlier in the year, I recognised that we were veering into emotional affair territory and that it wasn't healthy for me or respectful to his partner to go on seeing him, so I cut contact with him for several months. I hoped that going cold turkey for a while would allow me to get over it and that by the time he got back in contact we'd be back to being just friends.
He got back in contact after a few months. All fine: I thought I was over it and just wanted to be a supportive friend to him as he is struggling with health issues atm. We have gotten into the habit of talking more often than we did before and dammit, the feelings have crept up on me again. What makes it worse is that his health issues have put so much strain on his relationship that he and his partner are considering splitting which sort of gives me hope, iyswim?
It feels disingenuous to keep on talking to him as friends when I know I want more. I do value the friendship so it seems like the best way to get over it might be to just tell him, in the full expectation of getting rejected and give myself closure on the issue? But it feels disrespectful to his partner to tell him how I feel - like it would be seen as actively trying it on? He has said how much he values our talks and I think he would be hurt if I disappeared without explanation, especially as he is having such a bad time atm.
Should I tell him, cut contact or carry on as normal (which is driving me mad!) and hope that the feelings fade in time? Wwyd?