Secondary schools

[Jourdain11]

My DD10 is in Year 6 and came home from school in a state last week because the deputy head had been using "when you go to secondary next year" as a way of indicating things that won't be tolerated (forgetting items, not finishing work in the allotted time, etc.).

She has had a fair number of issues to deal with and gets anxious about school generally. I knew or suspected she was worried about the social side of secondary school (already!) but now she's getting in a stew over the academic/organisational elements too.

Obviously at present we have no idea of where she will be going... And it's a way off. But has anyone else had the experience of a child who was very worried about the prospect of moving up and do you have any tips on what might help to prepare?

I am fully prepared to be told that I'm unreasonable to be worrying about it this far in advance! I feel like it could go two ways: either she'll flourish and become much happier, or she'll really struggle. And I want to avoid the latter!

I agree with making sure you speak to the Senco as soon as the school is confirmed. And check with the primary what info they are sending over. Where I am the primary school and secondary school Senco will have a meeting and pass over all the documentation and chat about the parents going. I'm assuming even if your DD doesn't have an EHCP the primary at least have her on their SEN register and are supporting in some way?

My DD started secondary last September and was very anxious, she also has SEN but not EHCP. Secondary hasn't been as awful as she was expecting. The staff have actually been very nice and supportive and quick to adapt things to suit her.

Dd1’s teacher in Year 6 set absurd amounts of homework arguing it’s to get them used to it for secondary… secondary sets a lot less! (We’re now year 10 and she gets more bit at her age she can do it without my help so it’s less stressful than at age 10).

Should say as well that she didn't get any of the transition stuff as we got a waiting list place after the transition day and the secondary's summer school. It still worked out fine and we were really glad we took the late waiting list place to get her into her preferred school. Sounds like you might also end up in a similar situation.

My top tip is to have a designated place to keep all exercise books. We bought a stacked tray tidy that's kept next to the desk for them and the books are always either in her bag or in there. Never left anywhere else. It makes packing her bag easier and means if the book isn't in the tray the teacher must have it.

OP you should apply for an EHCNA ASAP.

We don’t get early confirmation in our area

Legally the LA must finalise secondary phase transfer EHCPs by 15th February.

I have no idea if an EHCP gives you priority for in-year moves

Unless the school is wholly independent if the school is named in section I it must admit, including in year, and the LA can refuse to name parental preference if they can prove:
-The setting is unsuitable for the age, ability, aptitude or special educational needs (“SEN”) of the child or young person; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the provision of efficient education for others; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the efficient use of resources.

OP I've been a secondary school teacher for 29 years and don't know of any kid who has been given a detention for not having a sharp pencil. In my school, detentions are mainly at lunchtime due to most kids coming in on special buses. If you get an after-school one, it's for persistent misbehaviour, not forgetting your h/w or having a blunt pencil. Both my DDs went through the school and never got any detentions - DD2 is outspoken and can push boundaries but knew when to rein it in. It sounds like the Deputy Head is using secondary school to "shock" the naughtier y6s into behaving. Sadly, that has backfired in the case of your DD.

When a DC is wobbling or has doubts or issues about their place, we invite them in for a visit before Induction, normally once the y11 and y13s have gone on study leave and things are a bit quieter. I teach Music and have had chats with several Hearing Impaired and Autistic children and their parents, showing them how the room is set up and looking at how particular bits of kit work with hearing aids for example. Once you know which school you have been allocated, I suggest contacting the SENCO and requesting a familiarisation visit to help reassure your DD.

Thanks for all the tips and thoughts. I hadn't so much thought about the possibility of moving at a later date, but it is a good point! I would hope that she might settle down well in whichever school she ends up at, though.

Ironically, DD2 probably has a much better chance of getting a place at DD2's preferred school and I'm not sure she'll want to go there! (She's Year 5 currently, so we'll be doing this again next year 😭 )

I meant to say @Malbecfan, thank you very much for your post. It's really helpful and gave me some ideas to explore with DD. She actually loves music, although she doesn't play anything except a recorder (which she plays quite musically, I think, and is taking an exam this term). She loves singing in choir and is quite keen to take up an instrument like flute or clarinet when she goes to secondary, although I'm not expecting her to become the next James Galway or anything 😀

She's generally quite academically able but not fond of maths, and finds them difficult. Plus, when she gets anxious she finds it difficult to concentrate on anything. The school have been supportive this year, but I worry that in the wrong environment she will struggle and get more and more stressed, to the detriment of her happiness, health and schoolwork!