To want to be a higher earner and ask for tips?

[PoloAllsort]

I'm the sole earner in my household and single parent to two primary age dc. When I left horrible exh I earned about £30k pa (7 years ago), but since being single I've worked hard and gone for promotions so now on about £75k pa. Exh is a bit surprised by my relative success which makes me chuckle.

I'd like to keep earning at this level (or even go for further promotions) as it has meant I can buy my own house, car etc but I do find the stress/pressure much greater and often sleep badly.

How do you 'switch off' from work? How do you make life easier? I'm wondering about a cleaner but feel I should do it in order to save money for the dc.

To a certain extend, you probably can’t completely switch off if you are in a senior role (depends a bit on sector and company though). I earn around £90k. I am very honest about when I need to interrupt my personal time and when I don’t - and it’s nowhere near as often as I could. For me, I am clear about my red lines (at primary age it was school events, birthdays, outings, school pick up and drop off once a week) and hold them but I am also flexible and have always done extra.

Cleaner, someone to do my ironing and groceries delivered. They are all easy to stop if needed for whatever reason but make day to y life easier.

Overall, I blur the lines between work and home quite a bit. But that’s what allows me to do well at work and be round for the things that are important at home. My DC are older now and say I was around when they were little but they were also aware of my job.

I think you need to think about work life balance whilst they are little. It’s important to have those moments where you focus on the children.

If you employ a cleaner then think of that as an investment of your time to the children. Two hours a week saved (and cleaners probably do ‘more’ as they are focused and not being interrupted by children wanting things.

Id say get a cleaner and make your life easier!!

Well done for doing so well! I know you say you want to do the cleaning to save money for the DC, but time is more valuable to children than money. You are a single parent earning a good wage and aiming to climb the ladder. Employ the cleaner, outsource the ironing, get a dogwalker, order from Gousto, whatever it takes to make your life easier and allow you to spend quality time with your children. Otherwise they'll grow up, you'll have saved loads of money but all they'll remember is that you never had any time to spend with them! Good luck OP.

Thanks this is a very good point about spending more time with dc rather than cleaning. I do the Tesco delivery when they are in bed which saves loads of time vs going to store.

I think it is important to have a good work/life balance and I have always prioritised retaining mine.

I don't have work emails/messages on my personal mobile phone. The work mobile is on silent and left in my office when I am not working.

When I finish work for the day, I am am finished. I have always been good at compartmentalising, so when I am not at work I rarely think about.

I earn in the same region as you but I won't sell my soul for it. I have always made it clear while I am committed and flexible where possible, I am also very family orientated and that is the top priority for me, I am fortunate the company I work for and my line manager support that. They get 100% from me when I am "on the clock", but no more.

Boundaries and outsourcing.

I wish I were better at setting boundaries so work wouldn't bleed into personal time as much. Set clear boundaries, and don't let anyone erode them. Give a little, and people will take a mile.

Outsource as much as you can. When you earn above a certain salary, it makes sense to outsource things like housework. If I earned less, I obviously wouldn't do it, but with these hours and salary, every moment of spare time is precious.

What job do you do if you don't mind me asking?