For wanting to improve my child's fitness?

[Skylab12]

So my eldest DS is 8 years old. He is not sporty at all, has never shown an interest in learning to ride a bike and prefers things like reading, lego, arts and crafts etc. He's a introvert and a home body like me (and I obviously love him for who he is). Apart from daily dog walks and school runs I'm not out doing daily exercise so maybe IABU for expecting him to want to be more active? I think it stems from concern for his health. He is a bit overweight! He does cubs, swimming and parkrun, all of which he has chosen to do but he gets tired so easily with any physical activity. Today he got back from parkrun really upset because he'd gotten a bad stitch and come last. Should we just leave him be or try and encourage him to improve his fitness? If so how? I don't want to be pushy or for it to cause upset. My 3 year old DD is an absolute whirlwind who never stops so we do get out everyday when it's not school but my DS will chose to sit on the swing or take a book and read on a bench 😅

YANBU, but this post highlights to many on here why you might need to consider doing things outside of your comfort zone when you have DC, as they’ll often follow in your footsteps re introversion etc.

^This if he sees you modelling it he is much more likely to do it. I had this issue with 2 of my 3. DH is very athletic so that was helpful and I took up running and going to the gym which spurred my 2 to make changes.

it Sounds like he is doing some positive activities. Does he want to do more and do you have time to take him? I really believe their is ab activity out there for everyone! Maybe think of things less ‘mainstream’

The other thing is you could look at incorporating more activity in as a family. A walk in the woods would see both my kids up a tree!

I wouldn’t focus on weight loss as a goal but building some healthier habits. Eg eating at the table (including snacks). Might be worth spending time observing his habits. Is he a big snacker etc. you can also look to add extra veg to meals to keep portions similar size but for less calories.

Do you run with him or does he go on his own at junior parkrun? I’d say 98% of the kids set off way too fast (trying to keep with the 2% who can maintain the speed) and that’s possibly how he got a stitch. If you can help him to pace himself to set off slower he’ll be able to go further more easily, if he finds it hard to run all the way then I’d do something like the couch to 5k run/walk intervals to help him build up his stamina. One of the little girls who finished not quite last but well near the back was crying today and when I asked her why she said because she didn’t think she could do it…..but she’d done it even though it was hard and as her mum said, that’s a good lesson to learn too!

Honestly you can put him into any exercise under the sun but until his diet is tackled it will make no difference to his weight. Maybe the excess weight is making it harder for him to run etc. He will tire more easily than the other kids because he is overweight.

As an adult who has been overweight nearly all my adult life (and a good part of my childhood), and was never encouraged (or given opportunities) for exercise outside school, I am very envious of people who have found a fitness habit they enjoy.

If you can afford it I would absolutely encourage you to try other sports he might enjoy (climbing, karate, trampolining, badminton, tennis??). And carry on with the park run or cycling if you can. I really wish exercise had been part of my life. I realise as an adult I now hold responsibility for this but it would have been so much easier if I had the habit ingrained from childhood.

Do you have a swimming pool with flumes or an obstacle course or even one where you can take a snorkel, mask and flippers. My boys would happily spend an hour or two being really active at the pool. Their other favourites were soft play, trampoline classes (they only wanted to use their own trampoline if I stood watching them), enjoy-a-ball or similar and street dance type classes.

Being overweight will make any activity more difficult and less enjoyable so definitely take a look at his meals and snacks and see if you can make adjustments that he won’t notice.

I've got active children despite DS1 being autistic, dyspraxic and hypermobile, but it is an advantage that they've grown up seeing me being active and that it's a normal way to live to them. I'm one of the core volunteers with our junior parkrun so I'm either helping out, or sometimes when I'm free, run it "with" them. I say "with"... they are faster... by several minutes, but that's part of the fun for them. Sometimes it's not their day and that's fine. I ask them to participate only, if they're keeping the tail walker company, that's fine. Some runs just suck, and some days you just don't have the mojo and that's fine and a useful thing to learn and accept.
You don't need much to eat before parkrun, a drink of water and something light like a banana is great and will help prevent a stitch. Drink well the night before too as dehydration can be a trigger for stitch.

Getting into 5k is worth doing, but you do need the stamina to walk it for towards an hour, or energy to run/ walk faster. It's more appealing when the milder weather comes in the spring than now when it alternates between wet/ windy or dry and cold.

My two also do karate. It's sociable but without the team pressure that can put some off sport (which definitely includes DS1)

Then we have swimming. Lessons and some recreational splashing around sessions. I've always mucked in and played with them which helps; plus it keeps me warm compared to bobbing at the edge!

If you can do things little and often, that helps. Our school run is short, but because DS2 is faffy, we normally have to do it quite briskly which is good. DS1 needs driving now, but I park further away and it's further to my car than it was from primary to home!

Fitness is a different issue to weight (although excess weight can inhibit fitness). It's frustrating being slow and tired, and puts you off other opportunities to try things. There are so many fun things to try and fitness brings confidence and social opportunities. We've got some Cubs that struggle with activities like climbing walls and assault courses due to lack of strength and they are incredibly slow on walks and find it hard going; that's not an easy, enjoyable life for them.

It is worth reviewing diet and making sure that it is nutritious and matches a child's needs. I'm tweaking ours at present as we've slipped into sloppy habits about fresh cooking and snacking.

we have had a few conversations over Christmas about health and making good choices with food and exercise

This is so unfair on an eight-year-old. You should be making the good choices for him. He is far too young to be given this level of responsibility for himself. Feed him better, don’t give him unlimited access to snacks. I really don’t understand why people expect young children to be able to regulate themselves in an adult way. Let him be a child for god’s sake. He shouldn’t have to even think about this kind of stuff yet.

Do you walk to school? Does he help walk the dog? Maybe you can introduce things that aren't obviously exercise but will just make him more active. Family walk at weekends or trips to clip and climb or swimming etc. Focus on family fitness.

I also second rugby if he is a bit overweight. There's always a real mix of body shapes and sizes. At this age it's tag but even when they start tackling it starts with fun games and wrestling etc and builds up slowly. It helped my shy kid no end.

Weight is mainly down to diet. Maybe you're giving him too large portions?

Also I think you should try to exercise together. If you're not exercising your health is also at risk... more than his from the sounds of what he does.

Some local gyms offer ‘junior gym’ sessions. I don’t know what age they start though. In the summer, try camping because that also usually involves more movement around the site and local area. My thoughts are that it is good to find activities that he can easily take into adulthood.

What’s his diet like

Ha ha 😂 not quite. I like to remain mysterious

I’d definitely try martial arts - there’s usually a free taster class.

I never talked about good / bad food. Always talked about moderation. Eating until they are full not clearing their plate. Getting them invoked in cooking. But it's the parents responsibility up to a certain age. Operation ouch is great show that discusses health and is super informative ❤️

I'm terrified and disgusted by some of the completely ignorant and fat phobic comments on this thread.

You only need to read books like 'Why We Eat Too Much' to know that 80% of our weight is due to our genes, and that going on a diet usually leads to more weight gain in the long term. Read 'Just Eat It' to find out the harm that fat phobia does and that overweight people actually have the lowest risk of mortality out of all the different bmi categories (followed by obese and normal weight, then underweight).

As an overweight child who was first dragged to the doctor to discuss my weight at age 11, I cannot tell you the damage that, and the subsequent 'diet' did to my emotional wellbeing. As an adult I am within the normal BMI range but only due to cycles of binge and restrict that I deeply wish I could get out of. I wish I could love and appreciate the body that has given me 2 kids and will be my home for the rest of my life but my early life experiences have left me filled with self loathing. Do not make this the experience for your son.

Everyone wants their kids to be healthy but please consider that you need to tread very carefully. Please read the books I have mentioned above. They are contridictory in some ways (especially about processed foods) but do agree on the fundimentals.

I don't think anyone has mentioned putting the child on a diet and the word "fat" I'm not sure has come up much either. Almost all posts are talking about health and fitness and the positive aspects of sports and exercise. I would hope most of us now know that it is easier for some than others to stay slim, that metabolic factors play a part, of course they do, but there's nothing at all wrong with instilling good habits early on, provided it's done in the right way. I'm sorry that wasn't the case for you.