to be a bit unhappy about Harems being supported by the taxpayer?

[pankhurst]

I am ardently against polygamy. Sorry. I think it's discourteous and (because usually male advantageous) sexist nonsense masquerading as religious right.

I found out that men with multiple wives under islam will have benefits for all of them.

AIBU to be concerned about this? If I were a muslim man on benefits and I wanted to, there would be NOTHING now to stop me bringing four wives in.

I don't want my children to grow up in a country where harems are even 1% of the population. I really don't. I would prefer more obstacles rather than making it easier.

Or did I miss the point somewhere? Help?

Pankhurst - its not just about the food though. Its about being a father figure to that child and giving it the love and attention that it needs and helping the woman with the childcare etc. This is assuming that it is all done properly, with both parties happy with the marriage, no coercion, not marrying for the wrong reasons etc.

I know of one man whose brother died and he subsequently married his brother's wife because a) he did fall love with her and b) it killed him seeing the woman struggle without a husband - its a sad fact that in a lot of countries that if you don't have a husband, your choices are pretty limited. Its not right and its not pleasant, but its fact

I can understand the need in some countries but it IS NOT a need here it is a choice, and I don't want to pay for it.

dear puss and mercy,

WHY does there have to be a MARRIAGE to look after all these orphans????

WHY not - for example - just contribute to a basic state funded system of childcare free at the point of access?

Surely, that would have been an option to have thought about? Or if not in the time of the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him), then now?

ladymariner - if you're worried about a TINY number of people claiming a VERY small amount of money - then god knows what you think of this story presuming the facts are correct!

1000 men claiming for benefits for their extra wives.

or

185,000 working illegally while on incapacity benefit.....

I know which one concerns me the most.

MT, but what if some of those women are happy about being in a polygamous relationship because it's the cultural norm for them?

I'm sorry PussinJummyChoos but your explanation of the reality of polygamy as a benevolent, patrician act of charity is utterly offensive to the millions, perhaps billions of women held in to brutal domsetic slavery.

ooooh!! LL.....var, var easily..

Mercy - 'happy' is not an option for these women.

what's LL ...var?

sorry

I did say 'what if' not they are.

'var' is wot posh folk say for 'very' and LL is the fluffy, endearing wabbit Little Lapin.

Rabbit - you asked about the benefit being paid to the husband. I think it said (but haven't re-read) that it can be paid to the husband if the household so chooses.

mwah mwah aye is a laydee posh pants too

We know the majority are not, from the amount in refugees around Europe and in refugee camps running for their lives, by the testimony of Islamic feminists and writers.

So 'what if' is a moot question

MonkeyTrousers - I did say there were a lot of other reasons besides charity and that I couldn't explain myself properly as am not a scholar of Islam. I also stated that it should be done without coercion, with agreement of both parties etc.

I'm not denying that there are women in marriages that they have no wish to be in, slavery etc - but Islam, applied properly and with the correct interpretation does not allow this in terms of polygamy

"Right. So if the polygamous family receives income support, ALL of it is paid to the husband. "

Exactly Lapinindetention indeed.

How the fuck can we tolerate this in a so called liberal democracy??

Sorry, I'll go now. This cultural reletivism/nobel savage (which is racist) rubbish makes me very angry

Also, I've read a number of harrowing stories about how the misapplication of Islam has lead to the brutalisation of women - but it is the misinterpretation, the misapplication of it that is the problem - not Islam itself. I really cannot stress that enough

ankhurst, in the uk, bigamy is illegal. it doesnt matter whethe a person'# religion allows it or not, in this country it is against the law. whilst i doubt someone would be sent to jail fo rit anymore, i really really doubt they would get benefits of any sort for multiple wives.
in islam, a man is allowed multiple wives only if he can support them equally. imagine paying two lots of mortgages....

i agree

FAQ on Mon 04-Feb-08 20:28:30
ladymariner - if you're worried about a TINY number of people claiming a VERY small amount of money - then god knows what you think of this story presuming the facts are correct!

1000 men claiming for benefits for their extra wives.

or

185,000 working illegally while on incapacity benefit.....

I know which one concerns me the most.

totally agree , FAQ

in fact AIBU to be totally pissed off with the amount of threads blaming all of societies ills on immigrants / muslims ?

lets see more threads asking AIBU to be angry to see my British born white neighbour claiming income support when she is working a full time job???

virtually all the threads about the failing health service, lack of housing etc pin the blame on immigration to a fair extent.

Civil servant here!

Lapin - if you and your husband claimed Income Support, it would be paid to you as a couple, but only one of you could recieve the money (whoever made the claim). Same for Pension Credit (the dept I work in). A couple, be they married or cohabiting, can only make a joint claim.

It has been the case for a while now that 'second wives' in polygamous marriages entitle the claimant to extra Pension Credit; it's about £60 a week I think (I'm currently on Mat leave so my figures are a bit fuzzy). I've only ever seen one record where there was a claim for a second wife though!

Cheers for Lulumama!! Yes! Am sick of all the hand wringing about immigrants and muslims too!!! In fact, the majority of Muslims that I know here are doctors/consultants/dentists or lawyers - and we know how much tax they have to pay!!!

monkey trooz does seem to have a clear understanding of the sexist angle of it.

if i'm one of four women brought up somewhere where polygamy is ok and i find myself as woman number four, with or without orphans, I'm hardly likley to be having LOTS of choice.

so Mr comes along and explains that even the UK government think he's doing a good thing...'look they're giving us extra money for you and your orphans, and they're paying it into my bank account and giving us a bigger house so I want you to have more of my children. And you can make sure it's clean when i get home with dinner cooked for fifteen.'

what's the message??

My money is being used to keep this horrible system going. I'm really cross.

Pukka, it's happening.