Social worker with mental health issues...big mistake?

[thinknow]

I am currently in the middle of doing my masters in Social Work. I am due to start my first placement in a couple of weeks.

Social work is really the only thing that when I think about doing it, excites me. I am a mature student and have had many issues and experiences myself. I had bad trauma in my childhood, this led to low self esteem and harmful, risky behaviour as an adult and addiction. This is all under control now and I am in a good place mentally.

I have my undergrad in a different subject, I done this so I had something to fall back on should social work not work out, however, it's a very broad subject and I'm not sure what line of work I would go into with it.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the first term of my masters and passed the term with a first so I seem to be grasping everything. However I am just so so scared about placement, I'm scared that I won't retain everything or anything I've learned. I'm scared that they won't like me, that I'll come across as too shy/anxious. I'm scared that I will fail my placement and it'll be a waste of thousands of pounds.

My anxiety has really ramped up during the Christmas break and I just think it might get the better of me. The thought of being assessed interacting with people is my worst nightmare.

I am now thinking I've made a massive mistake, I am very shy when I first meet people so what the hell am I doing? Why did I decide to do social work when meeting people and speaking to them is the very essence of the job.

I honestly am terrified and having second thoughts. Also my anxiety flares up from time to time for no reason, obviously social work is a very stressful job.

Have I completely fucked up and picked the wrong profession? What should I do?

It's a hard profession and you have to getvused to being assessed and judged. By othe social workers, managers and clients.
However some types of sw are less stressful than others. It's an individual thing.
Can you talk to a friend about your worries?

I’m a social worker you don’t have to be a massive extrovert. I’m naturally quite shy, and I’m a shit hot social worker!

Im also sure that any past trauma will help you to empathise/relate to service users (providing you are in a good place mentally now yourself)

I want to say this gently, but you will have to find ways to work round your shyness and anxiety. Like you say most of the job involves speaking to people, or advocating for people, or chairing meetings etc. I’m a shy person, but doing social work training made me push through any shyness. I think the only thing you can do is at least try it, there’s no point dropping out before you have at least attempted placement to see how you get on.

for me there was an element of faking it till I made it on placement and afterwards, but it was worth it because I love the job.

you won’t be the only social worker who is shy or who has mental health issues though, I will sa that.

You may find that having to be a voice for others helps you to handle your own shyness.

You’ve come this far and you have done more than others. Keep going!

I've had mental health issues too OP and can sympathise. I've also been treated by people who have had their own MH struggles (sometimes very similiar to the ones I was facing) so can comment from the other side.

When I've been treated by people who aren't stable themselves I've been very aware of it. In one case I had a therapist leave suddenly due to his own issues - this was a massive blow to me at the time. Another therapist it was obvious was still struggling with similiar issues and I felt I couldn't be honest without triggering her so it wasn't really effective.

That said I've found people with a similiar history to me who have their MH struggles very well managed make the best support system. So I think if you can empathise from a personal point of view you'll make an amazing social worker.

I do think it's essential you're not vulnerable yourself when doing this sensitive and stressful work.Make sure you use the coping mechanisms you've developed while qualifying or take a complete break if necessary. Seek support from your GP for anxiety if necessary.

I think there was a degree of 'faking it till I made it' during my first term also. I had to get over my fear of presentations as we had 6 throughout the term. Oh I have avoided presentations as much as possible throughout my life so this was a massive worry for me. However, I did them all, passed them all (got 81 percent in one 😅) and felt proud. I also spoke out in the classroom. During my undergrad I was very quiet and never really interacted in discussion. I don't know if it's because social work is something that interests me and so the discussion was also so I was able to put forth my thoughts, but it was another hurdle I managed to overcome.

I hope I'm the same way in my placement, where I surprise myself. But I just don't know if I'm ready for it.

You should definitely finish your degree.

I would recommend maybe avoiding local authority social work or child protection work - but that's only one thing that you can do with a social work degree.

If you finish the course it will unlock all kinds of doors you might not be thinking of right now and it doesn't have to be front line work at all.

You could work for a charity, on policy and research, managing projects etc. You will be in demand for a lot of things.

Also, you might find in the future that your mental health is better, and then you might want to give front line work a go. It's good to have the degree under your belt then you'll only need a refresher rather than doing the whole thing again.

If it's your passion, then see it to the end if you possibly can. You can then evaluate where you are and what you want to do with it, but it sounds like it's the area you'd like to work in, even if you can't be on the front line.

More people like you are also needed in social work related professions as you have lived experience with mental health difficulties - something a lot of the people you will come across are going through.

Stick at it!

Childhood trauma may make you empathetic as a PP pointed out, but that's the best case scenario.

It could also be triggering for you personally so there's that to think about.

Also possibly extremely frustrating when lack of funding and resources, means you can't really help the families in the way you think they need to be helped.

If you think you can learn to handle that and the unfair bad press that many social workers get, then definitely give it a go.

It could be the making of you.

Thanks that's great advice. The frustrating thing is, I know what local authority I will be working in but as of yet, I am not sure which area. I was hoping to have this few weeks to really research the area and the relevant legislation but obviously can't do that until I know where I will be. But I will look at theories and reflective stuff. Thank you

I am in a related profession. Being anxious about your first placement is normal to be honest. A significant minority of social workers will have a similar background to you. The structure and hierarchy of social work can be helpful in managing your own emotions. I think you can't know how it will impact you until you start to take on the responsibilities, but this would also be the case for everyone on your course whatever their background. I would try and be open with your fellow students about your anxieties if it feels appropriate, you don't necessarily need to tell them your history, but if that doesn't feel like enough then contact the student counselling service.

It is not unusual to be nervous before a practice placement but remind yourself that this is a learning opportunity and you are not expected to know / be able to do everything. Observations and assessments are to provide constructive feedback and opportunities for reflection to help you learn, not to croticise you. You will be observing and assessing the children, families, adults you work with and they are likely to be in much more vulnerable situations.
You don't need to remember everything, do don't make yourself more anxious by over preparing. Think about strategies you have found useful to organise and record key information/learning points and use these in your practice placement. Make the most of induction, shadowing opportunities and supervision. I am sure you will see many different styles and personalities.
When I started my first placement many years ago, I used to wait until I was on my own in the room to make phonecalls because I was so nervous (wouldn't have worked in open plan offices that are now the norm!) However I learnt a lot and it was the learning on placements that made the course for me. I went on to have a varied 35 year career as a children and families social worker, manager and latterly trainer.
Good luck OP.

@thinknow a lot of what you have said resonates with me. I had a difficult childhood and traumatic adulthood in my younger years. I would shake during presentations at uni and almost couldn't speak to anyone ourside of my small circle. I then became a children's social worker. In my ASYE I would go to court on my own (i.e without a manager), I put some rather nice sunglassess on and walked into that court thinking fake it til you make it. I am now a Team Manager. I have changed beyond anything I could have ever believed, I can now talk to anyone. I still use the fake it til you make it mantra, not because I am faking it as such (i know my job) but just to give me the added belief that I can do it.

You can do it too, use supervision to your benefit. Embrace learning more about yourself, the complexities of the role and above all, look after yourself!

You're clearly very self aware and reflective and this will serve you well!

Have you considered what area of social work you might like? My friend was a hospital social worker, working with discharge for vulnerable people back into the community. It was a very difficult job but she liked it and it is not as bad as child protection which I think might be very triggering for someone with your background.

You will develop a wirk persona. I am a shy person but am now a teacher. I have overcome lots of these obstacles and come across as competent and confident at work. It will come. Try not to panic.

Absolutely loads of social workers have anxiety and/or depression and loads have experienced trauma…. don’t worry that you’ll be the only one as you definitely won’t be!

it is really nerve wracking starting placement but once you settle In you’ll be ok. Nobody will expect you to know everything as you’re still learning…. I qualified donkeys years ago and am still learning constantly.

once you’ve qualified you can explore different roles and find one best suited to you.

You ask "What am I doing?" and it's natural to question if you've bitten off more than you can chew when you're anxious. I dare say you've studied this so whatvyoure actually doing is stretching yourself - you're in the zone of proximity development right on the boarder. It's scary but as youve pointed out yourself, that's where the exciting things happen!
You've done very well so far and I'm sure your tutors would have brought it up by now if they thought this career wasn't for them.
You have maturity on your side and I'd bet you are a good listener. You also have an understanding of social anxiety which many of your clients might have. Above all you sound like a reflective learner which is key to self development.
You've mentioned being scared but also excited. Aren't they the same thing with a different label? Don't try to be calm, just reliable your nerves as enthusiam.

My sister is a social worker for adults with learning difficulties. she loves it, and perhaps less likely to trigger your anxiety? You do need to be strong yourself before you can support others, but MH / trauma needn't be a barrier to being as social worker

Some of the best health and social care professionals i know have a wide range of mental, physical and emotional needs (or have done in the past)

I know a drug and alcohol social worker who has had some serious drug issues and he is nothing short of amazing. It helps with understanding and with building real trust! Its so good to know the person supporting you understands fully and isnt just book taught.

OP please believe in yourself. A certain amount of apprehension before placement is perfectly normal.
A very close relative is doing the same Masters and also has had previous MH problems and relative is absolutely knackered but thriving. Self esteem and confidence has rocketed and just knowing that they know they are making a difference to other peoples lives for the better makes it all worthwhile. Good luck 💐