To let Dc play switch in a Michelin star restaurant?

[GCSquirrel]

Dc is 7yo. I was supposed to be going for a 6 course tasting tomorrow evening but due to my friend’s childcare issues (her dh was supposed to be having her dc plus my 7yo for a sleepover but he’s got Covid) she had to cancel. It was booked using a voucher and as it’s such short notice if we don’t go tomorrow the voucher will be cancelled.

The restaurant have said they’re fine with dc coming as long as he isn’t disruptive. Dc is generally pretty well behaved but I’ve eaten at this restaurant before and the whole thing takes a good 2.5 hours. I think he would actually enjoy the food and the experience but obviously it’s a long time for a 7yo to sit still and be relatively quiet. If I let him play with his switch if he starts to get a bit fidgety he is absolutely guaranteed to be quiet. He got a new Pokémon game for it for Christmas and is obsessed with it.

If you went out for a posh meal would you be irritated if there was a kid playing switch there? I don’t know if I’m being really selfish to consider it but it was a really expensive voucher and I do like food.

Good luck getting moved to a different table. They only do one sitting a night and it’s fully booked for months. Maybe they could get you a little picnic table in the foyer of the sight of a child is enough to put you off your meal.

@Scroogette there are some places I can only go to if I get a babysitter. Luckily I’m not booked to go to a strip club, a Frankie Boyle performance or similar. It’s dinner. A posh dinner, admittedly, but one I know he is capable of behaving for and won’t disturb others if I can bring things to distract him.

Not really @Marchitectmummy

If the restaurant is any good, they'll serve you very quickly.

Take him for a walk around to look at something (even just the stars in the sky or pictures on the walls) half way through.

Talk about the experience and food. Insist that he asks staff for stuff himself.

If he's used to sitting at a table nicely you probably won't need the switch.

@Scroogette what happens if you are in a restaurant and there is a free table by you and then a family go and sit at it, do you immediately ask to be moved?

If it was silent then I wouldn’t care or notice. I would think a NT 7yo could sit through a meal though, tasting different things and chatting to you.

It's a place where most people would reasonably expect not to be bothered by child noise and where the whole experience is catered to the needs/wants of adults.

It's not a case of "is this legally inappropriate for children?", but "is it socially appropriate?", and "do I stand a high chance of pissing other people off by bringing my child to an adult focused venue?". If it's yes to either of those, I get a babysitter.

You feel differently, but I wonder why you even bothered asking on AIBU if you are just going to ignore the fact that there are, in fact, people who would be extremely put out by children at high end tasting restaurant.

I despair at the entitlement of other parents sometimes. You can't and shouldn't take your little darling everywhere.

As long as it was silent I wouldn’t care one jot

And it surprises me that you’ve never met a 7yo that could sit chatting and eating for a couple of hours to the point you think any 7yo would be totally incapable. It is no different to sitting for hours at school, which most 7yos are capable of.

If it's an evening meal in a restaurant, not a pub, then yes. What's the point in having spent money on a babysitter otherwise?

@Kanaloa

Exactly- I have a child the same age who regularly sits in restaurants- sans screen,

But I've never allowed screens at the table.

Some 7yos have more adventurous palates than adults. You can get loud adult idiots at fancy restaurants especially when drink is involved.

If the child can be well behaved and can have quiet conversation with mum and resorting to quiet device if necessary, it would be fine by me.

That’s what I mean. If you feel your specific child isn’t capable of sitting nicer for a short time then that’s ok, but to generalise you don’t think any 7yo would be capable of normal and age appropriate behaviour without ‘horrible repercussions’ is a bit odd.

nicely I meant!

Bet restaurants love you @Scroogette Do you sit there in complete silence?

a child playing switch won’t ruin anyone’s meals - but a child being disruptive would. Do what’s best for your family, enjoy your meal!

Luckily the OP has already called the restaurant and established that they are happy to have her child. Given that the people who run it think it’s suitable for children, why would you think you know better?

Do you really have no other babysitting options OP? No favours you can ask of anyone at all?

@meetmynewusername really no options or I would’ve asked. Almost everyone I know has either Covid or a horrible virus atm unfortunately.

I have to say I’ve never met a 7yo who would sit as still and as quietly as I’d expect dc to tonight for 2.5 hours. At school they’ll still be loudly chatting, rocking on chairs, getting up to get stuff etc. Tonight I’ll be expecting him to sit still without fannying around knocking cutlery, talking in a very quiet voice and generally trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. Obviously if someone like @Scroogette is there who will have their entire evening ruined if they’ve gone out for a meal and a child merely exists within their eyeline there’s not a lot I can do but most people seem to be fine with a still, quiet child being in the same room as them.

He’s been thoroughly exercised so he should be as placated as possible.

You think a 7 year old at school spend the day chatting loudly and rocking on chairs? Honestly, most 7 year olds I know would be perfectly capable of sitting nicely and chatting while eating for a couple of hours. I actually think you’re doing your child a massive disservice by acting like this would be some crazy and unachievable goal to expect of a 7 year old.

Hope it goes well for you OP !
Will DS be getting all the tasting courses as well ?

Hope you have a lovely time. Is it Lympstone Manor (as you mentioned Dartmoor)? We took DS to Gidleigh Park when he was younger, it was lunch rather than evening tasting menu, but still we were there quite a long time. He managed to sit quietly and engage with adults at the table and eat all his food. Can’t see him having been a bother to any other diners. It was a Christmas treat for when extended family were visiting so wouldn’t have excluded DS (who loves his food)

@Kanaloa no, I don’t think they do that the whole day but they certainly don’t sit still and quiet for 2.5 hours at a time either.

@rookiemere I certainly hope so. The voucher was with wine with each course and instead they’re doing a mock tail that supposedly compliments each course which I think will be quite fun for him. I don’t think he’ll eat all the food but I remember last time I did it I was still hungry at the end so I’ll be polishing it off for him.

That's your problem though not the OPs nor any family who have gone.

Unless a restaurant specified it is adult only then why assume there will be no children there?

If you want to guarantee no children, find an adults only venue.