To use inheritance to pay for private school?

[Pondformarch]

We have a two year old and are due a second baby this summer. Our combined income is around £120,000, a bit more with a bonus.

My parents died when I was young and I inherited a flat. It is now worth around £125,000, not a fortune, but it would pay for private school fees.

I always had it in mind to send one child but finding out I was having a second made me think the fees would be too tight. Wondering if selling the flat might be most sensible. This is a fairly small school, not a big name one (obviously) fees for senior school are around £15,000 p/a. One of the main reasons I would prefer the private school (apart from local state choices not being brilliant) is the fact that wraparound care is really high quality and it would mean that we wouldn’t have to worry about pick ups and drop offs. Also, the school is right by my workplace, which helps.

But I also know it might be better to hang onto the flat long term. So interested in seeing what others think?

Better off financially yes. But the children wouldn't be.

Private schools have smaller classes, better behaviour and facilities. As well as all the other excellent reasons the OP mentioned.

In your position (and Im not) I'd sell the property.

My parents scrimped and saved to provide school fees removing me from the shitty state options locally. If they had instead invested that money I could have had a lump sum of well over £100k. I'd much much rather the education. It completely transformed and enriched my life. That isn't to say everyone would feel the same way though.

I'd also add that you should never ever listen to people who say 'pay for a private tutor'. That absolutely would not compensate even a fraction of what is provided by a very good school. Not all privates are very good schools and some states are excellent so this isn't an issue of state Vs private but the value of a good school. Children interact with each other at school. It affects aspiration, peer group, how a child feels they fit in and also allows them to collaborate and challenge each other in a school with terrible behaviour and poor academics the child will be massively missing out. They spend most of their waking hours at school. An hour or two in the holidays every week with a tutor won't compensate for that and most teenagers would simply refuse.

@Pondformarch it totally depends on the school, DDs school is nothing like that she has some wealthy friends but most seem just normal families in normal houses making sacrifices to do what they think is best for their children so it’s definitely not all private schools, but DSs was so snobby and stuck up I really didn’t want him having those attitudes!! It’s a big decision to make but good luck with it and it’s great you are thinking about it so early!

I think if I am honest I am probably more keen than DH to go down the private route but then it affects him less. Ultimately, if we go down the state route and rely on childminders or wraparound care it’s going to be me rushing around because of the way our roles are, or me part time without the tangible benefits of part time (a day off!)

But also it is my flat. If - totally hypothetical, let’s say - I put the rental income to one side until I had two at private school then sold it, used the income from that to put DC1 through and then my own salary for DC2, I could afford that. I am not saying I would, but I could

@FromTheFront2theBack i do agree with that. I had private tutoring from quite an early age - keen mum - and I have never felt it really made any difference. Probably at least partly because I hated it!

Are you at a state school or private? Not sure if someone else has said it but I get the wrap around care aspect but then what happens when they have a month off at Easter/Christmas etc. you’ll have to find care for the differences in school holidays?

If you're a teacher, get a job at the school and get a discount on fees!

What about SEN provision or if your children aren't very academic?

A good prep school is the best investment you can make. We’re still working through the problems caused by state school before we moved to prep.

Make sure you get your sums right though and allow for inflation etc. 2 kids at say £5k each a term = £30k a year, plus uniform etc. Plus senior school fees are more, round our area they’re £6-9k / term. If Labour get in they want to add 20% to all that.

If you both work and your combined annual income is less than £150k you might be eligible for some financial assistance at senior school once you’d spent all the inheritance.

This is an excellent idea and also sorts the childcare logistics!

Oh only Happy thriving children in private schools?

We have less than half your household income, and are using a £60k inheritance to pay private school fees (just senior school). My eldest is autistic and simply wouldn’t cope in the local huge comprehensives. She’s thriving and happy at a really small, nurturing private school, so much happier than she was at primary school. I’m saving nearly all my salary to cover the shortfall and also save for future in case my younger son wants to go to a private senior school too (at the moment he’s doing tutoring to try to pass the 11-plus; he would cope fine at the local comprehensives as he makes friends easily and is laid-back, but they’re not the greatest and I feel I want to offer him the same opportunities as his sister). We don’t have any other properties/income other than our salaries. We’re managing, by being frugal (and it helps that we’ve paid off the mortgage on our - small - house), and it was 100% the right thing to do for my daughter’s mental health. The state of the world at the moment, who knows what the future holds. I’d rather invest in my kids than a pension/retirement fund or a bigger house. If you have the option of a good state primary I’d maybe save the money for senior school - but if not, it should be manageable.

me part time without the tangible benefits of part time (a day off!)

I’m still not sure why this would be a consequence of state school? Why wouldn’t there be wraparound on just your working days needed?

@Skinnydecafflatte - that would be fine as again part of the wraparound care is holiday provision. We wouldn’t need to use most of it but it’s there if we do need it: we may not, DH can and generally does WFH when he’s not away.

@America12 I’m sure you didn’t mean it like this but I’m a bit shocked at the implication we would only pay if our children were ‘worth’ it academically. If they had SEN, all the more reason for a calmer, less busy and more structured environment, to be honest.

@faw2009 - one thing I have always vowed never to do, is that, I’m afraid!

Totally agree with this. I originally thought state school plus private tutoring could be as good as prep school.

But a tutor can’t undo the damage caused by a day spent in an overcrowded class full of bad behaviour and exhausted teacher who only has time to teach the bottom of the class.

If yoh have a fabulous state school near you, hurray! We do not.

I think we’re talking at cross purposes @NoSquirrels as I don’t understand what you mean and I don’t think I’m making myself clear either - sorry! Could you clarify?

And I’m sorry for those who have had bad experiences

I think any big decision like this, especially financial, just takes careful consideration. We won’t be making any big decisions overnight but I do want to do my very best for my children, as we all do.

I can think of a million things I’d rather spend the money on

You said (I thought! haven’t read back up whole thread) that if you send DC to state primary you’d need to work PT but over 5 days for drop-offs and pick-ups. But I’m not sure why - are you saying there’s no breakfast/after school clubs at the state, and you wouldn’t be able to get a childminder either? That would be fairly unusual.

See a financial advisor.

Personally I would sell the flat and incest the funds.

If you are a teacher could you get a job at the school? Teachers in independent schools gets very good discounts on fees.
We aren’t high earners but we use the majority of my salary to pay for DS to go to an independent school. He had a really tough time at his old school with friendships but the nurturing nature of his new school has really developed his self-esteem. Obviously not all
independent schools are good but my son is thriving at his and we feel he is in an
environment where he is really looked after and respected. We have good lines of communication with the school and the emphasis on sport and arts as well as academics is definitely a far cry from our local comp (which is really not good)

I wouldn't go private- it's not enough to do it comfortably and investment returns are pretty volatile at the minute.

What I would do is sell the flat and use the money to buy the most convenient wrap around care you can for the time both DCs need it.

Or if you're not happy with local primaries could you sell and use the money to move to a better catchment.

Any discussion of state Vs private always goes exactly the same way on here with people's personal experiences and prejudices in both directions being presented as absolute evidence for or against. I've worked in both and had my kids in both. For me and them, private was right and state for them, was a disaster both academically and socially. But it's about the individual children and the individual schools.

Ha! Sorry just seen you don’t want to do that. I definitely would 😁